Sensitive - do old dogs ever just die or is it always an awful decision to be made?

[parrotonmyshoulder]

Sorry for silly question. My beautiful springer is 15. He’s slowed down a lot, has meds for arthritis, sleeps all day, completely deaf. But he’s happy and wants to be with me all the time. Only major problem is that he is not in control of his bowels really, and often poos in the house.
He won’t live forever, but I don’t know what to expect. Anyone got ‘good’ (although sad) tales of elderly dogs and their endings?

Ah OP it is really hard. You’d be best speaking to your vet though as it may depend on the health conditions your dog has. Our last dog had chronic heart problems and the vet was very clear that a peaceful “just died in his sleep” scenario was much less likely than “horrendous and upsetting medical event resulting in painful death”.

If your dog can’t control his bowels he may be distressed by this. Please chat to your vet about what’s best.

The problem is that dogs mask pain and discomfort a lot. So to you it may seem like he is slowing down and sleeping a lot, but he may actually be in considerable discomfort and misery.
We knew it was time for our old boy when he had to be cajoled to eat, his walking seemed laboured and he struggled to walk down a small step into the garden. I did not want to subject him to the indignity of incontinence as I'd read that dogs really hate that.
It's hard and sad, but painless for the dog. The vet will come to your home if asked. It's the last kind thing you do for your much loved pet. I feel for you💐

I know a few that did from working in rescue however most have needed an owner decision.

I can think of a small number who died genuinely out of the blue and peacefully.

controversially, however some of the others that died naturally, i would have pts before that point if they were my dog.

Honestly i think the greatest gift and responsibility we have to our dogs is to make those decisions

What's helped for me is having some clear objective lines in the sand. Its tempting when they near them to minimise it, or put it down as one bad day but if you decide in advance how you'll know enough is enough then it's easier

OP I prayed (and I’m not in the least religious) my old girl would die peacefully at home with me, but alas it wasn’t to be. I dreaded the decision but in the end it wasn’t hard to make. I loved her and I did what she needed. Nearly bloody broke me.

Controversially, however some of the others that died naturally, i would have pts before that point if they were my dog.

I think that's the main thing to consider, OP - as a PP said, too many owners leave it to long and when their dog does die naturally it's often been masking it's pain or suffering for a very long time.

In the last 21 years of owning Goldies I've never have a dog die naturally. My mum had them for 30 years before me, and likewise she has never had a dog die naturally. We've made the choice to PTS because (in our view) a dog that cannot run properly (and particularly a gundog) and is no longer controlling it's bowels is not a retriever living a good life.

Ah OP, I am sorry you’re at this stage.

My honest opinion is that too many owners keep their animals going way longer than is kind or ethical. Just because some dogs die peacefully in their sleep doesn’t mean they should just be kept going no matter what.

A dog who is old, deaf, in pain and incontinent is not having a good life.

The vet doesn’t seem to think it’s anywhere near that stage.
Thanks for all your sobering thoughts.

I had a dog die at home she had been OK but had an upset stomach the night before and was a bit off, I had intended to take her to the vet the next day if she was no better, I think she had probably been masking something dogs do don't they ? I felt so guilty that I hadn't taken her and she might have been upset or in pain overnight, it really upset us.

Our old dog had been ill for quite a while but comfortable and still eating, wanting to go for walks and toileting outside. She took a turn one day and we knew it was time, you could see it in her eyes. We had her booked in to be PTS which was still a tough decision and she actually fell asleep in my partners arms on the way to the vets. She was ready and it was very peaceful although bloody emotional.

Sending you hugs as it really is the worst part of being a pet owner seeing them grow old

It's a hard balance between what you can manage and how your dog is feeling, i.e., in pain or distressed at all by lack of things such as movement.
i have never had a dog live out their days, and sadly, I recently had to have a dog put to sleep at what was or should have been a youngish age, but the diabetes treatment did not work out, and by time it came, he was blind and had started to vomit blood, so less than 72 hours after us thinking the time was coming, it came too soon.
your vet is the best bet to help make a decision; he will be able to gauge the amount of pain he is in, etc.
Some old dogs do die naturally. A friend of mine was in the garden with her. She was as old as Methuselah but had been playing gentle ball with her. She went in for a drink but did not return. My friend went in, and she had lain in her basket and died. To me, that is lovely—no pain, a nice day in the garden, and then just lay down to sleep.

My dads last dog died in her sleep - she was a 12 year old GSD who they had been told wouldn't survive past the age of 2 without major hip surgery. They instead used a combination of physio and slow walking and she never had an operation.
She was his rock after Mum became very ill and he was distraught a couple of years later when it was clear the dog was nearing the end.

One evening he felt she wasn't right and stayed downstairs with her dozing in a chair with the dog lying on the floor next to him (as she always did). About 5am he woke to hear her making a kind of coughing noise and as he knelt and stroked her, she took a couple of deep breaths and died. It was the perfect end for the most perfect dog.

When it was time I just knew. She was 18 and very stoical but that day I knew I had to make the decision.

With my lovely girl, I just knew. She was 14, had slowed down a lot but was eating, jumping up for a walk and still engaged with the world - she loved a slow sniffy walk and came to me every morning (afternoon and night) for nose boffs and scratches.

Then one lunchtime, after her morning walk, she took to her bed but couldn’t get in it properly, nor could she move or stand. She went off food immediately and only drank water when I held her bowl under her mouth. I knew it was time - she looked so so sad.

I stayed with her all night and carried her into the vets the next morning. I sobbed my broken heart out but it was my job as her carer and owner (although she owned me…).

If yours doesn’t die in their sleep, you will know when it’s time.

I only know of one and that was a good friend who had an unbelievably well behaved black lab; the sweetest and bestest girl ever. To match her temperament, she passed in her sleep when elderly, without bothering anyone.

My Skye Terrier died at home. He was old and had slowed down considerably but still seemed to enjoy his life. One evening I was sitting with him watching TV and he gave a big sigh and passed away. I'm crying now thinking about him.

Full disclosure: I didn't act soon enough for my first dog and put her through treatment which she should never have had. I feel very guilty about it and is why I want to help people if their dogs are so very clearly suffering. I know how hard a decision it is and why people struggle so much with it.

But I'd ask yourself if you'd be happy if all you could do is sleep all day and you couldn't make it to the bathroom in time. I wouldn't want to live like that and I don't think many beings would. So sorry, it's the very toughest of times.

I had one of ours die on my lap whilst stroking her. She had been ill, but still had a quality of life enjoying food & gentle walks around the garden. I was coaxing her to eat small bits of chicken, sat on the floor next to her. She refused a bit, had a bit of water & put her head on my lap. I was gently stroking her, she gave a little sigh & closed her eyes. I realised she had gone.
She was a rescue, well loved but her owner had died. We'd had her from the age of 7. She was 15 & 2 months. This was over 15 years ago & still chokes me up when I think about it.

It's hard whatever you decide in the end. If or when the time comes, get the vet to come to you. Less stressful for the dog to go peacefully at home where they've been loved & comfortable.

My DDog was old but plodding along happily, then he took a turn and didn't seem able to get up. We rushed him to the vet and they told us it was probably his liver, they gave him painkillers and we were to bring him back in the morning to PTS. He came home, slept in his own bed, with us camped out beside him. He died peacefully in his sleep and didn't need to go back.

Ours literally dropped dead - he'd just come back from a walk. He was already well beyond the average age for his breed and had been slowing down. That morning, he was limping slightly - it was a Sunday, so we planned to take him to the vet on Monday - we surmised later that the limp must have been connected to heart failure. He suddenly collapsed and died in my husband's arms. It was a horrible shock for us. He used to love going to the vets and would get really excited and happy, so taking him there to be PTS would also have been awful.

Had 6 dogs over the years, 4 of them died naturally, it’s no different to people really, far more just die of natural causes than end up on some form of palliative care which helps them die, the difference is there’s an option if the dogs are suffering

My 12 year old terrier had slowed up a little but was perfectly well. One day she started heavily panting, I got her to the vets within an hour, vet said extremely ill and probably acute pancreatitis. Lots of pain meds and I just knew she was dying. I took her home and she died in our arms in five minutes. It was a huge shock but I’m relieved it happened with only an hour of pain. I’m also so relieved she lay with us all for her final moments. I cried every day for a year just because of missing her so much

my first dog died at home suddenly, I’ll be honest it was horrible. He had a heart attack (we think) and he lost control of his bowel/bladder- it was on my 18th Birthday and I’ve never forgotten it. I had to put my dog to sleep a few years ago and in comparison it was lovely. He was calm, he was stroked and told how much he was loved- although it was horrific at the time, it was his time and we just knew it. I’m sure some pass peacefully in their sleep.

Yep my grandparents jack russell did aged 19, he didn’t go out in the garden much, one day walked over to his favourite tree curled up fell asleep and never woke up, lovely way to go with the sun shining down on him.

I don't think so either op.

My boy was like yours, we adapted and adjusted and he was happy. Still ate, engaged with everyone, went on walks. Showed his personality every day.

His last week was sudden and sad.
He suddenly deteriorated and for a week our vet tried different things but by the end of the week we knew he only had days. He still wasn't suffering but then started collapsing and fitting and we knew we needed to step in otherwise he could have a horrendous end. The most heartbreaking thing I've ever had to do.

It's such an immense privilege to care for our animal family members and we hold their life, and their passing, in our hands.

The way I think of it now is that there's some dog in some shelter having the best years of its life wasted and if my dog is no longer capable of living her best or close to her best life, then for the greater good, I should let her go and adopt again (after at least some time). As I said, I made a mess of it last time and have promised this one I will do better. A week too early... as they say