WWYD - dog too attached to my child

[BossyDog]

We have a dachshund. He is good all day when my children are in school - only occasionally barks at the occasional trespassing cat.

When my children come home from school he is like a different dog. He is indifferent with one of my children, but seems very attached to my other child. When he sees them he overly licks them, it can last at least 5 minutes , and longer if he isn’t pulled away. But my child likes him doing it. The problem comes when that child wants to leave the room the dog is in - he will then bark at my child, almost like he is telling him off for leaving. It’s worse when my child goes to bed, because the barking becomes more aggressive and it is like a military procedure trying to get my child out of the room.

My child really loves the dog but it is getting quite unmanageable. I don’t know whether he isn’t suitable to have around children (although we have had him from a puppy), or whether it is fixable problem.

We have tried distracting him, giving him treats when he doesn’t bark, and putting him in a different room when my child goes to bed, and even put him out in the garden. But he just seems to know when my child is going to bed regardless and will start barking like crazy no matter where he is. Any ideas? Due to a change in circumstances we are unable to pay for a dog trainer at this current time.

Thanks.

As there is a child involved, the only responsible thing to do is to get a qualified behaviourist in to help you. Your insurance should cover the costs as long as the referral is through your vet.

Otherwise nobody should be giving you advice as they can’t see your dogs’ behaviour or body language in person, and if he really is being aggressive then you don’t want him escalating to a bite.

@faerietales Thanks for the reply. I hadn’t considered that his insurance might cover something like this. In my mind I think of it as for his physical health so it didn’t cross my mind that it might include behaviour too.

Most decent policies will cover behavioural problems as long as your dog is referred by a vet - it’s definitely worth checking anyway.

It sounds like both hyper attachment and resource guarding which can be treated very successfully with the right sub threshold approach. As it’s a child you’ll need to get professional help.

The resource guarding - is that when he is licking my child or do you think he is barking because he sees my child as a resource and doesn’t want to lose that resource when they aren’t in the room?
I am the one that spends most of my time with the dog and meets his needs by feeding, walking etc. But he is obsessed with my child and I can’t figure out what has caused it.

When your child comes home, can you get your child to turn its back on the sausage if the sausage barks or tries to lick? That way, pup know that to get No 1’s attention, he’s got to be calm?

And when your child leaves the room, does he/she even look at the dog when the dog starts to bark?

I sympathise - I have a Dachsie too! He’s a needy little bugger

This may make the attachment worse, but could the dog sleep in your child’s room? Crated/on the floor?

When did your dog get like this with your one DC?

Thanks for both of your replies.
I will try doing the turning my child’s back trick and see if it helps.

We have reached a ridiculous point where when the dog is in the same room when my child goes to bed that we use facial gestures instead of saying it’s bed time in the hope that the dog doesn’t notice and I pick the dog up or hold him close, but he always notices and his head swings around and he barks like crazy. Even if I carry the dog into another room the he hears and goes crazy. But he doesn’t do the same thing with my other child or anyone else.

Even with treats as a distraction he will swallow the treats whole to bark because my child has left the room.

By the third or fourth time home from school, your sausage should have learned he needs to be calm. Appreciate you’ve also got to control a likely excitable child and train them to some extent too.

I would advise that you don’t pick up the dog when it’s DCs’ bedtime. No facial gestures. Contrary to your username, your dog ain’t the boss. The more you act like it’s An Event that your DC is leaving, the more importance you give it. Dogs respond to energy. Unfortunately, you need to be more stubborn and persistent than the world’s most stubborn breed, but it can be done. My Dachsie used to wait at the bottom of the stairs for me (even if my husband was in the living room), but I just learned to go up, potter, not talk to him and only say “hi cutie” in a neutral voice when I came back down. Now he does still follow me, but does bugger off to the sofa and less creepily waits for me there 😂

It was quite early on. As a puppy he attached to my child quite quickly but it just took the form of being quite obsessive with licking. My child liked it and it was only when my child came home from school or returned from being out.

I can’t pinpoint exactly when he started barking when my child left the room/went to bed. But he was a fully grown dog. It has been going on for what feels like forever.

Oh, see, to me, that’s good news. I’ve had three Dachsies so hope I have an idea of what I’m talking about.

To me, from what I know of the breed, your sausage has built this bond through the licking (god knows I’ve accidentally Frenched with my dog more times than with my husband), so I reckon, if you nix the licking, you’ll sort the attachment at night.

I still have to tech my husband this, but: the second the dog licks or barks with excitement when DC gets home, its arms folded, turn the back, no talking. The SECOND the dog stops and is calm, resume patting/saying hello. Dachsies love licking, so remove that being on tap and you remove the obsession quite some way.

That makes sense, because I suppose he is sensing the anxiety which is probably what signals to him it’s bed time!
What would you do in my shoes? Would you still say the word bed?

Absolutely still say bed. In fact, I’d even say it randomly throughout the day so it’s desensitised. Depending on how old your DC is and if they be arsed to help train, have the DC leave the room randomly and come straight back - no eye contact with the dog. Everyone just act natural. Sausage starts woofing, no shushing him, just ignore - again, energy feeds energy.

I have never known such a licky dog! It makes sense what you are saying because my youngest has encouraged the licking and the dog is obsessed, but my eldest hates being licked and has never really let the dog do it and he’s completely indifferent to her.

@HiddenInCubeOfCheese Thank you so much for all of these tips.

Its honestly like a lightbulb moment - although I could see that the dog was over licking my child and barking only when they left the room, I never considered the one behaviour was causing the other.
It makes sense because also if I hug my child on the sofa, next thing the dog is squeezing between us and obsessively licking my child.

If you really want to go full whack on this, have your child (pup’s favourite) push the dog away when he’s between you both. Just a simple firm hand against chest and a no to create about 12 inches of space.

If you do it, you might get a bad reaction.

Oh, and when child gets home, he or she says hello to you/anyone else BEFORE the dog. Every time.

Sorry some of these suggestions are potentially dangerous. Don’t push the dog or try to physically manipulate it. Fear won’t fix fear. It will escalate it.

Please seek in person advice. This is potentially a situation that could escalate. I’m a behaviourist and trainer. I’m not going to advise here. You need someone in.

This is such irresponsible advice I don’t even know where to start. Encouraging a child to physically move a potentially aggressive dog is a recipe for being badly, badly bitten.

OP - please, please don’t follow any of the training advice on here. You have a young child involved and the situation really needs to be dealt with by a professional.