I've just had my beautiful rescue dog put to sleep. I had him from a puppy and he was one of the most characterful, funny dogs I have ever owned. He used to wink at you when he wanted treats (which was a lot), was an accomplished food thief, had friends all over town in shops and the market, my dog walker loved him, everybody loved him. He used to look people in the eye as we walked past so they would stop and pet him. He moved into the spare room when we extended the house and claimed it as his own. He was huge and hairy and I cannot bear losing him.
It's been a tough two weeks too: my good friend died of cancer, my job is definitely under threat with masses of redundancies at work in an industry that's struggling. I feel empty and my head cannot take any more. I can't tell my kids right now as they are at uni and in exams - one of them sits one of his final papers today, one is prone to depression.
I'm reeling. I loved him so much. He was such a mummy's boy too. I know he was loved, I know he'd reached a good age for his huge size (he was 12 1/2), I know he had a great life with us but i'm broken. It had to happen as he was in pain and yesterday evening his back legs went completely. He had a horrible night, I stayed with him and stroked and settled him but it was heartbreaking to see him like this. I knew it needed to be done but I still feel like I betrayed him.
I'm just posting as I'm lost really. Don't know what to do, don't know what not to do. I've worked all day in a kind of zombie mode with tears streaming down my face.