Ugh please help - elderly dog

[Summerinsicily]

Our family dog is 14. When I was younger and still living at home, I was very close to her and did everything for her like walking, feeding, taking to the vets, worming etc. it was really hard for me to move out and leave her and I really grieved that part of my life with her. It took me a long time to stop feeling extremely sad every day.

Now when I go to my mums I can’t cope with seeing her the way she is. She’s blind and not as affectionate. I am staying at my mums in June for a week to look after her while they go on holiday and I am dreading it because I honestly feel so upset when I think about the dog she was and now she can’t see, she bumps into things, will only walk for 10 minutes, doesn’t want to sit on the couch and cuddle, and paces around the house.

I have tried to bring up the topic of her quality of life but my mum and sister are adamant that she is absolutely fine and I only feel this way because it’s a shock compared to what she was like when she was younger. But I think that they are just used to seeing her like this, and from my outside perspective I can see that perhaps something isn’t right. I am thinking of taking her to the vets by myself and seeing if they can rule out arthritis and dementia. If she is more hesitant to do things due to her eyesight that is understandable, but I am worried in case there’s something else wrong. When you call her name she doesn’t respond at all. It seems like she can’t hear anything so I don’t know if she is also deaf or if that is a sign of dementia. But either way, paired with blindness it doesn’t seem like a nice way to live.

She still gets excited about walks, toilets outside, her appetite is fine, she loves treats. What do I do?

That’s good news OP.

'Our family dog is 14. When I was younger and still living at home, I was very close to her and did everything for her like walking, feeding, taking to the vets, worming etc.'

you never explained in your opening post that she is ' your ' dog.

which is interesting as you then go on to say how ' you ' feel...

' Now when I go to my mums I can’t cope with seeing her the way she is '

even the use of the word ' Ugh ' in the title is interesting.

Bit of a turnaround from your post.. where your mum and sister are saying she’s fine and you are disagreeing?

Not that your mum and sister agree? If that was the case from the start then what question are you asking if posters?

Maybe read back what you have written it totally implies they think the dog is fine you don’t so therefore you are taking her to the vet, you don’t mention anywhere that she’s “your dog”

As I’m sure you know it’s perfectly normal for an elderly dog to have ailments and to take it for a check up.

@OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon
@rivalsbinge yes you are both correct. I think she is not ok but mum and sister think she is. Seeing as she is OUR dog and doesn’t just belong to one person, this means that not only one person can decide what to do etc. which is why I was asking for opinions. When I lived at home she basically my dog as I took the reins and did everything for her and she bonded mostly to me. However when I moved out my mum and sister have now taken over of course but we consider her a shared pet.

So we have all had a conversation where I have discussed my concerns and mum and sister have agreed this morning that we should get her checked by the vet, however my mum wouldn’t be free to take her until next week so as I am available this evening, I will take her and then call to let them know what’s been said and we can discuss it together.

She isn’t your dog to take the vet

and by the sounds of it… if you take her, this seemingly happy and simply old dog, wouldn’t ever leave the vet!

good appetite, and gets excited by walks and treats

OP she’s OLD. That is it.

Yes

agreed

Very odd turnaround from the Op to She is the family dog, it’s a discussion we have all had this morning and I am the only one free to take her because my mum is at work until 8:30 and my sister is out of town. Is that… ok with you lol

Gosh! I've only just looked at the pet area of MN, and am horrified to see that the same nasty, combative attitude from so many posters is carried over from other sections of the forum.

OP, you are doing exactly the right thing in taking the dog to the vet. The pacing and lack of settledness is very indicative of dementia, and a dog with dementia will be distressed. Do take (and encourage the family to take) the vet's advice.

Good luck.

My dog sounds very similar In terms of age, good appetite, enjoys walks etc.

My dog also paces and is unsettled when my adult son or indeed any visitors comes. It’s part and parcel of old age… doesn’t like change.

You represent change op. I wonder if your mother and sister are relaxed because they know that once you leave… he settles

I wonder if the Op returned home with the dog and a pile of medication, or if the dog was destroyed at 5.45pm.

Shame the Op @Summerinsicily hasn't updated us, as she cared so much about the dog to write a thread on it...

I hope the mother and daughter didn’t let the op take this dog alone to the vet.

i really really do.

She is okay thank you. The vet thinks arthritis so she will be on medication for this so hopefully that helps ☺️

Arthritis is so common in elderly dogs.

When my old boy got to the short walk stage, I got him a Kong wobbler, and loaded it with his breakfast kibble plus a few stinky treats.

He happily nudged this round the house like a giant treat dispenser, coming to tell me if it was stuck under the sofa etc. It kept him entertained and gently active .

If your dog is food orientated, maybe consider something similar so her wanderings are less aimless.

I feel for you OP. I had a similar situation with our dog; though she was older and it was further progressed. She deteriorated further after my parents went away and I couldn’t ignore it (I saw the dog everyday so had seen her decline). I took her to vet, who agreed, but we also agreed that as my parents were due home soon (they’d only gone for a few days) we could essentially put the dog into palliative care and drug her up until they were back (I also booked the euthanasia, which my parents could obviously have cancelled). I still feel slightly aggrieved that my parents hadn’t taken her to the vet sooner; but only after reading your post, I now wonder if they just didn’t see it.

your dog doesn’t sound like she had a poor quality of life yet, but it is hard seeing them get old. I’d say if she’s hurting herself whilst bumping into things then maybe that’s a different case. It’s a shame she doesn’t seem to go out more, ours loved to potter and sunbathe in the garden. I think they seek less attention as they get older as the pressure from petting may aggravate arthritis and probably like us, they like their own company more as they get older.