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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

15 years old whippet pts ed yesterday - unbearable grief

16 replies

ACavalierDream · 14/05/2025 16:04

I put my dog down yesterday and it is the most awful thing I have ever experienced. She had kidney failure and was ailing. The toxins were building up in her body and she could barely walk, had become very confused and had stopped eating her special diet. She had become a skeleton and all she did was lie down and could not get comfortable. To make her eat, we resorted to giving her sausages, steaks and chicken with broth. She was not meant to eat that and I felt awful giving her something to eat that was in effect poisoning her. By the end I had to hand feed her. I took her to the vet last Friday and the options were: 1. hospital for further investigation (possibly for several days) 2. hospital for fluids but we would be back weekly 3. pts. I flat out refused the first 2, she was 15 and was terrified of the vets. I could not see the point of putting her through it. She would have been so so miserable in the hospital and frankly, I knew there was no going back. My husband felt that friday was too soon and we spent the weekend looking after her. He then went away for the week and I was left alone watching my so adored dog not being herself.

On Monday I called the vet surgery to speak to another vet for another opinion. His was clearly pts as it was the end. I asked for a home visit the next day to check her out but bring the drugs just in case. That night she had a steak and vomited, in the morning she had peed all over the sofa. She had peed on her bed the day before and had been mildly incontinent for a year.

I have another dog, an Italian greyhound who is a nightmare to housebreak (normal for iggies). Pees and poos dont bother me, I can clean any body fluid after several dogs and 2 children. However, my whippet was the cleanest dog I have ever had and was evidently distressed by her accidents. When the vet came, she said it was time and that she was in pain. I could not see the pain but I trusted her and could see she was not herself anymore. What terrified me the most was her dying in pain in the middle of the night on her own, or an accident that meant going to the vet and terrorising her. I went along despite my husband not being there.

I am racked with guilt that I did it too early. She barked at the vet and seemed panicked, like she was telling me not to do it. In my heart, I knew we were talking days, maybe a couple of weeks and she was such a dignified dog, I felt I needed to help her. The choice to pts is unbearable frankly. I know it's brave and kind, but not on me, it has broken me down and I am yet to tell my husband.

We did it at home, in the garden, on her bed, amongst the roses. I know it was the best for her but for me, I cannot look at the garden without thinking of what I did.

I feel it is a bit damned if you, damned if you don't. As I have read on other forums, you take their pain away to make it yours.

I am not sure if one ever gets the right day. My personal measuring stick was knowing who she was personality wise and how much she would not like what was happening to her. Then I thought, what if it was me, and thought I would like to have that option to go.

I am overcome with grief and feel her loss terribly. I don't know how to move forward.

OP posts:
Shetlands · 14/05/2025 16:10

Sending hugs - I know how you feel. You've given her a wonderful life and now you've given her peace. You did the right thing and definitely not too early. Be kind to yourself now. 💐

FamBae · 14/05/2025 16:11

A vet once said to me you will always question your choice, you will believe it was too soon or not soon enough. When I took my last dog to be pts I was convinced it was too soon, but the vet said to me you're doing the best thing for him, which made me feel better. Sending you the biggest hug op I know your pain only too well. 💜💐

Sortoutyourshit · 14/05/2025 16:11

You did right by her

stayathomegardener · 14/05/2025 17:34

I have a whippet, I am so sorry.

You absolutely did the right and brave thing.

It’s probably insensitive to even suggest this but for me a new puppy really helps and I have never found I loved them less because I was grieving my adored departed dog.

Please post a picture of your gorgeous girl if you feel able.

BruceLeTerror · 14/05/2025 18:22

🐾🐾💔💔 no words I imagine can help you feel better, you did the kindest thing for your girl 🩷 spoil your Iggy 🩷
I’m so very very sorry

Utterlyincandescently · 14/05/2025 18:28

You did the right thing. I'm sorry for your loss. I hope your husband is understanding and knows you made the right choice too.

Pottingup · 14/05/2025 18:35

It’s just awful and you’re probably in shock. Do try and be kind to yourself. Our whippet died a year ago in the car on the way to the vet to be PTS (he had sharply declined and we didn’t want to wait for someone to come out). I felt so bad that we’d left it that long and he didn’t have the most peaceful death. I think it’s just hard to accept you did the right thing when it hurts so much.

ACavalierDream · 14/05/2025 21:09

Thank you everyone for your lovely messages. I have never cried so much in my life. I got her after a pregnancy that went very wrong and I work from home so she is with me 24/7. Well was, I cannot use the past.

I feel so so guilty to not have had a few more days but the vet warned me that she might die alone in the middle of the night. Pottingup please be comforted by the fact that he was with you. But what Fambae said seems to be true. Guilt comes at you from all angles. There is no right time maybe, just the time.

BruceLeTerror, it all happened in my garden, I can't bear to be in it so the little Iggy has had 5 walks today... and a lot of time sitting down in the sunshine in the park.

I spent a long time on the phone with the Blue Cross Bereavement charity. As my husband is away, I have no one. They are wonderful and if anyone reads that thread and is in the same state as me, please do reach out. It made me see things from a different angle. It is just nice to speak to someone who gets it.

https://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-loss-support

I hope I get to see her again, my darling, darling girl.

OP posts:
Swettyelizabeth · 14/05/2025 21:16

I don't think you should be concerned that you did it too early - the signs were all there and i think leaving her any longer would have been cruel. You did the right thing. You need to tell your husband though. Really she should have been pts before he went away and it's his fault that she wasn't, and that he wasn't there.

In time, the fact that you didn't wait and wait until she had an emergency to force your hand, and a painful death, will be a comfort to you.

CheshireCat1 · 14/05/2025 21:17

Our Border Collie was eventually pts because of kidney failure. I was heartbroken but what helped me understand that we had done our best for him was the vet saying to us, that he’d had all his good days and he only had bad days to come. Try and think about the good years that you had with her, how you had cared for her and loved her.
It’s still very early days for you, I understand how you’re feeling and I’m truly sorry for your loss.

Alwaystired23 · 14/05/2025 22:08

I know this is heart breaking for you op, but I think it would have been far worse to let her go on and suffer. At the end of the you did what was best for her and that was to stop her pain and suffering. What you did was ensure she was pain free. It was done out of love for her. I think it would have been selfish to have done anything else. It sounds like she's had a great life with you. Hold on to that.

Motorina · 14/05/2025 22:10

I’m so very sorry. Your love for her shines through the page and so I know she would have felt it. She was a very lucky girl.

You did the right things.

Duh · 14/05/2025 22:17

You did the right thing. The more you love them the harder it is, all that hurt you are feeling is love in grief form. Be kind to yourself x

abracadabra1980 · 14/05/2025 22:17

The grief we feel is simply a reflection of the love we felt. I'm so sorry for you, and have been through this many times myself, too. Everyone is different but for me I have to have an animal in my life and therefore I don't leave it too long and/or make sure I have two. Sometimes it's a cat, or a dog, or a mixture or two dogs. Just depends where I am in life, but I do know my home is wasted if it's not being used to give a good life to a pet. And remember, most people are glad they did this one day too early, than left it one day too late ❤️

Justlovedogs · 14/05/2025 22:24

Oh OP, I feel for you, I really do, but 100% sounds like you did the right thing. A clean dog doesn't like being incontinent and it is very distressing for them. You gave her a great life and a dignified death, which is the best you can ever do. Sending hugs and sloppy German Shepherd kisses from the Justlovesdogs household Flowers

notyetpregnant · 14/05/2025 22:42

Better a week to soon than a day too late. Sending hugs

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