Advise re what’s best for my beautiful girl 😢

[sheselectric13]

Hello

My beautiful girl is only 5 and sadly she has become unwell over the last few weeks. We saw a vet 3 weeks ago due to an upset tummy with lots of blood (sorry tmi). She was given antibiotics and injections to reduce inflammation in her tummy. They said it’s likely she has eaten something she shouldn’t have when out. She’s a golden retriever so that’s normal. She got better for a week or so. Then this week she stopped eating and we found two lumps on her neck. Took her straight back to the vets. Blood tests were done and came back abnormal. We don’t have what exactly was abnormal as the vet wants to speak to us in person Monday. She is booked in first thing Monday for an abdominal ultrasound.
It’s not looking good unfortunately and my mind is all over the place. I know I shouldn’t have but I googled and what I have seen that aligns with her symptoms is Hemangiosarcoma, an aggressive form of cancer. Of course it’s entirely possible it’s not that and it’s something much less serious. However, me and dh have discussed what to do if it is the worst.
DH (the typical dad who didn’t want the dog but is now obsessed with her) is gutted. He took her to the vets yesterday and it’s possible he is shielding me from the full truth as he keeps dripping info about what the vet said. He knows how I feel about my girl so is likely waiting till we have the official confirmation. If It is cancer dh does not want to try chemo and says he can’t stand to watch her deteriorate. He wants to let her go while she is still able to run and somewhat enjoy her last days. Google says chemo would only prolong life for a few months but most dogs with these symptoms die within a year regardless. I on the other hand would want to try anything. I can’t stand the thought of taking her for her last walk etc and I keep crying. She’s my best friend.
I know we have given her the best 5 years, with love and so many experiences and memories but I can’t help feeling like we have done something wrong. She’s so young. This is my third dog and every time I say I won’t get another as I can’t stand the heartbreak.
this girl is my soul dog. My best friend. Despite growing up with dogs and having my own before, this one is different. She’s the best. She’s my best friend. She’s the best behaved and gentlest dog to have ever lived.

Has anyone gone through the above disease? Did you go down the chemo route? How was that? Sorry I know this will be painful for those with experience but I need real life experience so I can hopefully make a decision if needed.

Palliative chemo is cruel imo. We owe our animals a good life as an animal. Once their health prevents that then we have to let go. We cannot keep them lingering unable to live their lives properly because we can’t face loss. Hopefully this isn’t what you are facing but if you are, that’s what I think. I know it’s ghastly and you absolutely haven’t done anything wrong. You’ve been unlucky. But you have to do the right thing for her.

Everything @nhsmanagersanonymous has said. I wouldn’t recommend the chemo, it will likely prolong her life but the quality won’t be great, so you would essentially be doing it for you. As hard as it seems, you need to let go. When there are more bad days than good, that’s the time.

Aww Bless you all. I do hope it isn’t what you think it is, but sadly if it is and I was in your position I wouldn’t mess her about. She means so much to you and it is the cruelest thing that she is the best ever. I would concentrate on making her as comfortable as possible, and do the least selfish thing for your best girl, if it is aggressive that is. However, you don’t know yet, so spoil her as much as you can.

I really think it’s best to stay off Google and leave the panic until you get an actual diagnosis and you know what you are dealing with . FWIW my late dog was given a provisional diagnosis on a splenic tumour ( I declined surgery / biopsy due to his age and other issues) that would have given him a prognosis of 3 months max and he lived very well for another 20 months with a good quality of life and eventually a stroke ended his life . I do however agree with your husband that a few good weeks is better than several months of relative suffering . I will keep my 🤞🏻for your lovely girl . 💐

I hope things are better than you fear.
My dear dog died of cancer too young. She was the best thing in my life and I'd have sold the house to save her, but we didn't try the chemo route. It seemed too much to ask of her after all she'd given to us.

If it is worse case scenario, then I am afraid I agree with your DH. I wouldn't put my dog through an unpleasant treatment if it was only going to buy her an extra few months. Far better to enjoy what precious time they have left.
Hoping Monday brings more positive news for you. X

I'm so sorry you're going through this ❤️ shes beautiful
My BiL has a golden and he had cancer in his leg (don't know the type) but he did chemo and he came through it well and is cancer free now. He was 4 when he went through the treatment.
The vet can advise you as to what's best but sometimes treatment can be possible. You'll know what's right.

I feel for you. I’ve lost so many over the years, but I stick to the saying of a day too early is better than a day too late. I’m so sorry 😢

My lovely boy had a mouth tumour. Although it couldn't be cured we were advised that radiotherapy would shrink it and reduce the pain and make his time left more comfortable. Nothing could be further from the truth. It did reduce the tumour size but he had the most awful pain from mucositis which kept becoming infected. It made his last few months unbearable. Given the sane choice again I would not put a dog through it and wished I had let him live his last few months in peace. That's my experience but others might have had a better experience. I really hope it's not what you fear xx

I potentially had this situation with my beloved service dog a few months ago. He very suddenly became ill, and they thought an aggressive cancer was possible. My instant reaction was that I would not put him through palliative care - I would rather let him go whilst he was still able to enjoy his life than make him eke out his health for me. Fortunately (and hopefully similar for you) it wasn't cancer - it was something so very rare the vet had never seen it before, but it was 100% treatable and he is now back to his old self.

Hoping that your news is just as good. But if it isn't, I agree with your DH - let your girl go with her dignity.

It’s so upsetting, I really do feel for you. We haven’t had a dog with cancer, but a little terrier we had developed a serious bowel condition and sadly died far too young at the age of 9. It was devastating.
We did have some initial treatment with medication and diet which worked well for about 12 months, but then he developed something else and we felt that we couldn’t put him through any more. It was heartbreaking.
I think talk with your vet and maybe see if there’s something that can be tried, but without committing to anything long term and see how she goes.
I also feared that I’d done something wrong but the vet reassured us that we absolutely hadn’t and that it was genetics/ bad luck.
I too really hope that it’s not as bad as you fear. She’s absolutely beautiful. Fingers crossed.

Sorry that you and your beautiful girl are facing this possibility. She is no age.

I have a good relationship with my vet, borne of many years of questions and advocating on my two’s behalf. So we generally discuss all options for any potential treatment, along with side effects and expected outcomes.

That way I am at peace with decisions we make.

I would urge you to think ahead of the questions you want to ask - diagnosis, prognosis, treatment options, side effects, reality of where you are.

Meantime give your very beautiful girl hugs.

Thank you all. She seems a bit brighter this afternoon. Me an dh joked that she’s putting it on to get treats and being allowed to sleep on the bed, which she isn’t usually allowed. Obviously that doesn’t explain the blood test results and lumps but I wish it were true. Don’t want to wish the weekend away but Monday can’t come quickly enough, I just want to know. My poor 6 year old dd is so worried, they have grown up together.
sorry to all those who have lost their beloved pets

I'm so sorry your beautiful dog is unwell. I don't have any experience to share with you but just thought I'd say: I regret letting my dog sleep on my bed when he was unwell. He was happy to sleep in his own bed before but now wants to be with me all the time. Towards the end of his life (unless he goes back to being happy on his own), I worry that it might reduce his lifespan, e.g. if he can't control his bladder/bowels, that'd be easier to deal with if he's in his own bed than if he's in mine. Be careful about setting a precedent!

(I don't mean I'd let him go on indefinitely if he did lose control of bladder/bowel but I'd at least want to spend time trying to find a solution and I'll be able to give more time to this if he's not soiling my bed).

Edit to add: I really, really hope it's good news on Monday.

@Lovemyassistancedogi understand what you mean. I feel guilty saying this but she is a bit of a pest at times. Always wanting to follow is around. Luckily the bed thing won’t become permanent because the cat will soon kick her off and the cat is always in charge in this house

Chemo is fucking awful op. It’s for people and animals when it has a very good chance of saving them. Or for people who are willing to go through the suffering of clinging on as long as possible for their loved ones. It’s not for animals to be put through to keep them around for us. I hope the news is different for you

💐 deep down, you know what is right.

Hope is an awful thing, it makes us do irrational things. I hope your vet is honest and straight with you, whatever the diagnosis is.

Stop Googling.

and you need to be going to the vet each time so you are not being given 2nd hand information which may or may not be being limited in what information you are being given.

I saw this post pop up in active, but we had a similar situation with our beloved cat last year. She’d been back and forth to the vet for sporadic puking, which got more frequent, and I pushed for more tests - it turned out she had aggressive stomach cancer. It was unbelievable as she was otherwise absolutely fine, never off her food, no weight loss, racing about like a mad thing. Our vet had never been concerned as she was so “well”, and even the specialist referral vet said she expected it to be a sort of IBS type thing when DP dropped her there in the morning.

We opted not to do chemo, as it would have only prolonged her life, for a short time, and not cured her. I couldn’t bear the thought of her becoming sad and thin and losing her spark, plus she would have found it incredibly distressing being carted out to get treatment every week. We let her “go well” the following week, and much as it broke our hearts I 100% feel we did right by her. She was only ten and we miss her so much 🤍

I hope you get good news on Monday, OP. Animals are magic but also a one way ticket to heartache sooner or later.

Her paws over the sofa! She's lovely.

You won't be making a decision on Monday at the Vet surely. She'll come home with you and you'll both talk things through.

As a general opinion, I wouldn't opt for chemo unless it gave more years, not months. In her case, there may be more than the options you've thought of.

Your comment about the cat made me smile.

Thinking of you this morning.

I didn't post before because I have never experienced this with my dogs, but I just want to say I'm thinking of you, your family and your beautiful girl this morning OP. I really hope it's good news.

Hi all

thank you so much everyone for your comments and for those checking in today.

Sadly it is cancer. She has lots of tumours in her stomach, pancreas and lymph nodes. A biopsy was looked at and has now been sent for further examination. A specialist came to our vets from elsewhere today and confirmed the diagnosis. We are just waiting on what else the lab says after further examination and the vet did mention chemo and not to give up hope. As I said not sure we will go down that route unless it is guaranteed to work and she is not in pain.

She is home now, had paracetamol and some treats and a sleep. They said she was the best behaved dog ever and so gentle. They were able to do all scans without sedating her and are just went along with it all.

Whatever happens I’m grateful that we were the ones chosen to spend her short life with her and I feel so lucky for that.

So sorry it wasn't better news. I am sure you will make the best decision for your beautiful girl. She is very lucky to have you too.