Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

When to make the decision to pts

33 replies

corinabride · 08/05/2025 16:46

I can’t get my head around putting to sleep my lovely 12 year old golden retriever.
she’s a happy loving dog and still very much enjoys her walks and her food.
BUT she’s lost the control of her bottom muscles so poos in the house daily. She pops in her bed every single night too. This has been going on for over a year now and it’s a lot to cope with.

The vets have confirmed there’s nothing to reverse the muscle loss so either put up with it or pts basically.

I feel immense guilt like I’m taking her life from her just because she can’t control where she poos. Please help!

OP posts:
LandSharksAnonymous · 08/05/2025 16:55

Dogs are incredibly clean and pretty much from the day they’re house trained, barring serious illness, they are clean indoors. I’ve always held to the belief that when a dog can’t control their bowel movements, it’s time - not because it’s a ‘inconvenience’ to us or anything like that, but because of how distressing it must be for them.

You could try dog nappies, but honestly I couldn’t put a dog through that.

I put one of mine to sleep a few years ago in similar circumstances and I felt awful at the time - like I’d failed her - but looking back, I know I made the right decision for her.

I’m so sorry. It’s a horrible way to have to say goodbye, but I think that if it’s being on for a year then it’s a kindness now. Goldies are incredibly dogs and 12 is a good age, and I know that won’t make it better - but you must have given her such a good, loving, family for her to be so otherwise healthy and happy at her age.

yikesanotherbooboo · 08/05/2025 16:55

Our situation was different in that DDog had cancer . I had her pts when she stopped enjoying her food .

Candleabra · 08/05/2025 16:58

I think when you start thinking about it is an indication of the time approaching. It sounds like your dogs quality of life is severely compromised.

Original poster
corinabride · 08/05/2025 18:37

I think I’m finding the decision so hard because she’s still loving her walks and food. With my last dog she couldn’t walk at the end and stopped eating so was an easier decision, albeit still devastating

OP posts:
YeOldeGreyhound · 08/05/2025 20:40

My dog is the same. She is nearly 15, which is ancient for a greyhound. She often poos indoors, and about half the time, will let out a little poo during the night in her sleep. I am putting up with it as her poos are firm and easy to just pop in a poo bag. She is also happy otherwise.

Original poster
corinabride · 08/05/2025 22:05

@YeOldeGreyhoundDomt you find it hard though? We’ve put up with it for over a year and mostly like yours, it’s firm so easy to clean up but I still find it hard going. I absolutely adore her though so it’s a really tough decision

OP posts:
YeOldeGreyhound · 08/05/2025 22:10

corinabride · 08/05/2025 22:05

@YeOldeGreyhoundDomt you find it hard though? We’ve put up with it for over a year and mostly like yours, it’s firm so easy to clean up but I still find it hard going. I absolutely adore her though so it’s a really tough decision

Not me, no. I rescued her and she rescued me. A bit of poo is nothing really. I can't and wont have her PTS because I have to do a bit of extra cleaning.
I have quality of life checks with the vet. She is happy and enjoys life.

But it is up to you. Your quality of life also matters too. That is why it is such a difficult thing to be thinking about. If your dog still has that zest for life, then if it was me, I would be putting up with the poo.

carly2803 · 08/05/2025 22:13

LandSharksAnonymous · 08/05/2025 16:55

Dogs are incredibly clean and pretty much from the day they’re house trained, barring serious illness, they are clean indoors. I’ve always held to the belief that when a dog can’t control their bowel movements, it’s time - not because it’s a ‘inconvenience’ to us or anything like that, but because of how distressing it must be for them.

You could try dog nappies, but honestly I couldn’t put a dog through that.

I put one of mine to sleep a few years ago in similar circumstances and I felt awful at the time - like I’d failed her - but looking back, I know I made the right decision for her.

I’m so sorry. It’s a horrible way to have to say goodbye, but I think that if it’s being on for a year then it’s a kindness now. Goldies are incredibly dogs and 12 is a good age, and I know that won’t make it better - but you must have given her such a good, loving, family for her to be so otherwise healthy and happy at her age.

this

one of mine years ago kept weeing in the house, couldnt control the bladder. It was time
better a day too early than a day to late (when they are suffering)

no dog wants to have accidents they think they have been naughty

aliasname · 08/05/2025 22:14

Our dog had been losing control of his bowels for a few weeks. Then one night we were woken by the sound of him scrabbling around. He’d had an accident, slipped over in it and then couldn’t get up (because he had no strength in his legs)

So he had to be bathed in the middle of the night - which he hated - and then he got cold and shivery. We made the decision then. He wasn’t in pain, but his distress was awful. It’s better not to wait until it’s too late.

suggestionsplease1 · 08/05/2025 22:15

If this was the only thing and her quality of life was good and she wasn't upset about messing in the house I would not PTS, no.

You can get thin incontinence sheets to cover her bed that make managing that easier. Maybe take advice on her diet if her poos are very frequent or poorly formed.

YeOldeGreyhound · 08/05/2025 22:18

suggestionsplease1 · 08/05/2025 22:15

If this was the only thing and her quality of life was good and she wasn't upset about messing in the house I would not PTS, no.

You can get thin incontinence sheets to cover her bed that make managing that easier. Maybe take advice on her diet if her poos are very frequent or poorly formed.

My girl sleeps on a puppy pad now just in case. She sleeps at the foot of my bed. She is never distressed by her accidents. She often does not know she has even had one

suggestionsplease1 · 08/05/2025 22:22

Pooing in a house isn't inherently distressing for every dog. My brother had a (obviously poorly toilet trained) dog that was perfectly happy pooing in the house and very reticent to go outside. When my dog has colitis he is not upset by pooing in the house. On the other hand when I was little my grandparents dogs were very distressed by it as they got into into trouble when they did and my grandpa unfortunately would take them to it and thump a newspaper on the floor to scare them.

You will know yourself OP if that is distressing for your dog or not.

bigknitblanket · 08/05/2025 22:45

Our dog had exactly the same issue. I’ve got to be honest it didn’t bother me that much while she was still enjoying food and walks, I made sure I put her out regularly and always had anti bac/poo bags out handy.
It went on for about a year but then she started to go off her food and wasn’t interested in walks, plus was occasionally struggling to get up from lying down. That’s when I knew it was time.

wavingfuriously · 08/05/2025 22:49

YeOldeGreyhound · 08/05/2025 22:10

Not me, no. I rescued her and she rescued me. A bit of poo is nothing really. I can't and wont have her PTS because I have to do a bit of extra cleaning.
I have quality of life checks with the vet. She is happy and enjoys life.

But it is up to you. Your quality of life also matters too. That is why it is such a difficult thing to be thinking about. If your dog still has that zest for life, then if it was me, I would be putting up with the poo.

Edited
Show quote history

Agree 👍

wavingfuriously · 08/05/2025 22:53

Dog nappies, puppy pads on her bed, walk around the garden or outside before she goes to bed. I can more or less gauge the time when our dog needs a poo and work around that. good luck

Original poster
corinabride · 09/05/2025 08:07

She has blankets we wash daily but she poos randomly round the house as well.
she has arthritis and is on painkillers and struggles with her legs too.

This decision is impossible. I feel like the worst dog owner evening contemplating it 😢

OP posts:
Callie247 · 09/05/2025 08:44

corinabride · 09/05/2025 08:07

She has blankets we wash daily but she poos randomly round the house as well.
she has arthritis and is on painkillers and struggles with her legs too.

This decision is impossible. I feel like the worst dog owner evening contemplating it 😢

Just the pooing indoors alone would perhaps not be enough for me to make the decision but if she has arthritis bad enough to need regular pain relief and struggles with her legs as well then there is already more going on here than just pooing indoors. Her quality of life will be key in the decision. I think the hardest bit is that they don't show it when they are ailing and that's a pack thing because in their world showing weakness can put the pack at risk, so to us they always look happy and seem to enjoy their walks but that doesn't necessarily mean everything is fine. It's a horrible horrible decision to have to make and I know it's hard. I think I would say weigh up everything, not just the pooing and try to look objectively at where her overall quality of life is at the moment and if it's just inconvenient or if she is genuinely losing quality of life and suffering.

LandSharksAnonymous · 09/05/2025 09:05

It’s perhaps a harsh view, but I’m going to be franker than I was in my first point; if your dog is defecting indoors or laying in their own excrement, or forced to wear it inside a nappy - and has lived a good life - you are, at that point, keeping a dog ready to say goodbye alive for your own selfish purposes.

Some of the comments on here are clearly owners who can’t bear to say goodbye - and whilst I get it, our responsibility as dog owners is to put them first, not us.

hehehesorry · 09/05/2025 09:20

I wouldn't put the dog to sleep over pooing in the house but it's your dog. Something else will probably take her this year at that age, I'd be waiting it out until that.

Better a day too early to me is about palliative care with an ongoing illness or lack of mobility to the point where the can't walk independently, not just oh my dog's shitting in the house, better a day too early! wink wink! I like to go by these parameters instead - https://www.lsu.edu/vetmed/veterinary_hospital/quality_of_life_assessment.pdf

But it's your dog, and if you choose to euthanise you've spent 12years making their life good so they've had a substantially better life than most other living creatures in existence ie meat animals, wild animals, people from dangerous countries.

SpanielsGalore · 09/05/2025 11:16

suggestionsplease1 · 08/05/2025 22:22

Pooing in a house isn't inherently distressing for every dog. My brother had a (obviously poorly toilet trained) dog that was perfectly happy pooing in the house and very reticent to go outside. When my dog has colitis he is not upset by pooing in the house. On the other hand when I was little my grandparents dogs were very distressed by it as they got into into trouble when they did and my grandpa unfortunately would take them to it and thump a newspaper on the floor to scare them.

You will know yourself OP if that is distressing for your dog or not.

Totally agree. I don't think all dogs get distressed by toileting in the house. It's usually the owners' reaction to it that stresses the dog.
Whenever one of mine has done it, I have cleaned it up with no fuss and the dogs have been absolutely fine. One of mine would happily squat and wee in front of me whilst smiling and wagging his tail. (He was on a combo of meds that caused this.)
If my dog was still enjoying every other aspect of life and the poo was usually firm enough to pick up, then I wouldn't put it to sleep. If it was total loss of control and leaving seepage everywhere, then it would be different I think.
But a year is a long time to be dealing with this situation and you have to factor in your own quality of life too. It's rarely a clear cut, easy decision to make unfortunately.

YeOldeGreyhound · 09/05/2025 13:54

LandSharksAnonymous · 09/05/2025 09:05

It’s perhaps a harsh view, but I’m going to be franker than I was in my first point; if your dog is defecting indoors or laying in their own excrement, or forced to wear it inside a nappy - and has lived a good life - you are, at that point, keeping a dog ready to say goodbye alive for your own selfish purposes.

Some of the comments on here are clearly owners who can’t bear to say goodbye - and whilst I get it, our responsibility as dog owners is to put them first, not us.

Edited

My dog really is not distressed by the pooing. Like another poster on here, I clean it up with no fuss. I have had my dog long enough to know if she was unhappy with something.
If my dog is ready to say goodbye then she must have missed the memo. She is in my garden ragging a toy right now. We have quality of life checks with the vet. PTS is not even mentioned when we go.

Upandaneigh · 09/05/2025 17:21

It's not just the pooing though is it?

"she has arthritis and is on painkillers and struggles with her legs too."

Your dog is on painkillers yet still struggling with her legs (what if she's in pain? Surely if the painkillers are working it should mean that her legs work properly?) she is pooing all over the place, she's a 12 year old large breed dog - she's never going to get better than she is right now. Don't wait for your dog to get even worse before you say goodbye.

Too many people leave their dogs until quality of life is negligible like - oh he's still eating and still walking - that's the bare minimum that your dog should be doing though? Are those people going to wait until their dog is in so much pain/so ill that they don't even want to eat anymore? Then that means your dog is suffering. Personally i always let them go before the point that they start to suffer, while they've still got some enjoyment in life. If that means i miss out on a few weeks/months of what might have been an ok ish life for them, so be it. At the point they're suffering, it's too late, you've left it too long.

Original poster
corinabride · 09/05/2025 18:06

I suppose I’m looking for the reassurance the pts is the right decision.

I know my dog is still living some aspects of her life but I can see her legs hurt her even on 2 types of meds.
she sometimes falls over and takes ages getting up and lying down.
even tho I can list all her ailments I’m still devastated thinking about the end and the fact it lies in my hands.

OP posts:
MovedonfromMartin · 09/05/2025 18:17

Our elderly dog of similar size had arthritis and the day he didn't/couldn't get up out of his bed in the morning to go for a wee was the day he was pts. We were dithering for a long time before hand but in the end the decision was made very quickly at that time.
Tough times for you @corinabride

SpanielsGalore · 09/05/2025 18:18

corinabride · 09/05/2025 18:06

I suppose I’m looking for the reassurance the pts is the right decision.

I know my dog is still living some aspects of her life but I can see her legs hurt her even on 2 types of meds.
she sometimes falls over and takes ages getting up and lying down.
even tho I can list all her ailments I’m still devastated thinking about the end and the fact it lies in my hands.

Sorry. I missed this information when I posted before.
I think that changes things. I wouldn't PTS for the pooing, but if your dog is in constant pain, struggling to walk and falling over, then it sounds like it is time to let her go.