Having a puppy after previously having a reactive dog - worried I'm going to 'ruin' the puppy

[sunshineyellowwx]

I had a reactive dog for the last 11 years. He was my first ever dog and I think I hold a lot of guilt for him being reactive and blame myself. I now have a new puppy of a different breed and a different temperament (he is much more confident and friendly, my last dog was always nervous even before his reactivity started).

I'm terrified of 'ruining' my puppy and ending up with another reactive dog. He attends puppy classes, and I am thinking of booking him in to attend doggy daycare to let him be around dogs. He is only 4 months old and has only been going on walks for a few weeks, but every time he barks at other dogs (I think because he wants to play with them) I panic that it's the start of him being reactive. I really struggle letting him saying hello to other dogs, as all my instincts having been to avoid other dogs, cross the road, etc. I know this is bad as my puppy will be picking up on this and I'm trying my best to work on it, it's just old habits die hard.

Has anyone experienced this or have any advice?

Also I'm not saying that reactive dogs are 'ruined' dogs, I absolutely adored my sweet boy.

You’re doing fine! You’re socialising him, and some dogs are just innately reactive. It likely wasn’t your fault.

easier said than done, but your anxiety will be travelling down his lead and make him anxious (I’m guilty of it too), so if you see another dog, shoulders back, deep exhale and confident walk forward

When he barks, it’s a pop of the lead and a “ah-ah!”, but keep him moving. Try to get him to look at you if he’s looked at the other dog for more than two seconds. Once he’s locked on, his next reaction 99% of the time will be to go over threshold and bark. He can look, you say “Fido!”, he looks, treat, keep it moving

I suspect all the tension you feel is travelling down the lead or he's picking it up from your body language. Barking at other dogs isn't any invitation to play so I'd verbally correct that cheeky behaviour. But if you are holding the lead tightly and that's creating tension between your pup's collar and you, that will cause him to go into guard mode. Take deep breaths, relax your body and relax your lead.

He's looking to you for guidance so if he can sense you're uptight, he will be uptight. But if you're chilled, he will be too.

Don't struggle with avoiding other dogs - actively seek out opportunities. I have a service dog (not a seeing or hearing dog) and when we go for walks we often get comments about how their dog is usually scared of others but get on great with him. Equally, if a youngster is stepping over the line he will, in dog terms, correct it. Look out for people with well trained dogs and ask if your puppy can interact / play for a time. And if junior oversteps with the older dog, let them sort it out. They will! I recall when my dog was a youngster - I trained him from 8 weeks old for his job - he overstepped the mark with a rather sedate King Charles lady. She told him off and he ignored her. So she chased him in circles nipping his backside. It taught him manners.

I know that there are lots of bad dog owners out there, but there are also lots of good ones with lovely dogs who will help bring up pup. That whole "it takes a village" isn't just for humans - dogs are sociable creatures who learn from others of their type as much as they learn from us.

Be mindful of other dogs behaviour and ask permission before allowing your puppy to greet.

Consensus on MN seems to be not allowing your dog to meet random dogs, but I disagree. Mine says hello to most dogs we meet, but it depends on the circumstances. On lead, ask permission, sniff and hello, move on.

Off lead, ask permission and then allow play.

Mine now loves all dogs and is incredibly sociable, meeting other dogs is incredibly important and they need to know other dogs aren’t scary. Too often owners don’t allow interaction which causes problems later in life.

Is he only reactive on lead?

mine’s a bugger on the lead, but off lead he doesn’t bark at the other dogs.

Agree with PPs who say to let him meet others. Don’t avoid a pass on a pavement, for example. I like to scope out calm dogs in the park and see if the owner seems amenable to a meet and greet there and then. Loads of people have been in your situation and are sympathetic

There's some really dodgy advice on here. Don't 'correct' your baby puppy when he's barking at other dogs. Some dogs do bark to play, some dogs bark from anxiety, doing things like popping the lead will very definitely do nothing but make absolutely everything worse. What breed is he? this does make a difference - spaniels do bark to play for example.

Do you know any nice gentle dogs who your dog could meet in a controlled environment so they can go off-lead? E.g. my dog is an absolute hooligan at a year old and is horrible with puppies as he gets over-aroused, but his bestie is a darling and would be perfect for a puppy's first introduction.

I always feel very sorry for owners of reactive dogs as it must be so hard managing the interaction on every walk so I can imagine how anxious you feel.

Personally I feel it’s actually better to have a dog that is fairly indifferent to other dogs rather than one the other way that wants to greet and play with every dog it encounters. How about you approach a really good trainer which specialises in your breed of dog to manage interactions and perhaps arrange meet ups with other trained dogs rather than random dogs on the street who are an unknown so that the early interactions are both managed and positive.

If he barks at other dogs, then distract him with a treat and get him to look at you. Do this every time. He’ll learn that it’s better to look at you, then to bark at the dog.

Two things: do not book your puppy into daycare! This can easily be an overwhelming experience: lots of strange dogs & mum disappearing. Recipient for disaster. (I don't care if people had positive experiences or promise you the earth- it's not the right approach for you.)
Secondly when your puppy course is finished, enrol yourself onto the next stage... I assume you do something like the good citizen dog scheme. Work up to at least silver level when your dog is 18- 24 months old. Honestly, this will build your trust and confidence in each other.

‘The dial method’ would be a good hook for you :)

My first dog was reactive. He started off nervous and one day a woman let her four off lead dogs have a go at him whilst he was on lead. I say 'let' because she made no effort to recall them and blamed me for having a nervous dog. After that he decided attack was the best form of defence. We spent the next 13 years avoiding people, which led to very stressful walks.
None of my following dogs have been reactive, but it did take a while for me to be able to relax and enjoy walks. It's difficult when being on high alert has been the norm for so long.
With my current puppy, I have asked people if their dogs are alright with puppies and if they say 'yes', then she has been allowed to meet and greet. Sometimes she has been a bit OTT and the dog has told her off, but that is absolutely fine. She needs to learn some manners.
I wouldn't book him into doggy day care, as really you need to be in charge of meet and greets. I also wouldn't be doing pops on the lead when he barks at other dogs, as he could begin to associate other dogs with the pops instead of the barking.
Do you know anyone with well mannered dogs that you can arrange to meet up with? Or if you walk in the same place at the same time of day, you soon learn which dogs are good to meet and which ones to avoid.
Good luck. I am sure you will both be fine and enjoying relaxing walks very soon. :)

Have a chat with your trainer as they'll know you and your dog and be able to advise. I'm a dog trainer and generally am not a fan of most doggy daycares - I find they can actually cause reactivity. That being said it's not the case for every dog or every daycare. Remember the goal is having a dog that is comfortable and happy around other dogs it doesn't need to want to play with every dog he/she meets and over socialising can cause them which in turn can turn into frustration reactivity. A lot of it will depend on the breed you have - for example a border collie I would want to do a lot more meeting other dogs with than a lab/golden retriever who could easily become overly socialised

Thanks everyone. I usually call my dog's name when he first notices another dog and then give him a treat when he looks at me, or even just when he's looking at the dog but not barking. But I notice a kind of panic in me when I do it - like I'm frantically trying to get in there with a treat before he barks. He's a maltese.

Our puppy class does socialisation walks with dogs from all their different classes so I might start going on them.

@SpanielsGalore That sounds exactly like what happened with my last dog. He got surrounded by a group of several dogs at once and that was the turning point for him.

I’ve had this worry with almost all of mine! I’ve had some very reactive and troubled rescues but puppies stress me out so much.

Can I suggest maybe joining some classes or an obedience club where your puppy can learn about being around other dogs without any pressure of actually meeting them? It helps with becoming neutral. I also do lots of sitting somewhere busy and watching the world!

No daycare for me. I really think they cause problems.

I do allow my puppies to meet friendly looking dogs and try and arrange walks with friends who have confident ones. If I’m unsure I always put on a lead and walk past as it’s not worth the risk.

You might have a local dog walking place that has puppy sessions and they can be useful, especially if they do age groups so small puppies aren’t with overly boisterous adolescents. I’m in the dogs should be allowed to socialise camp and should be able to greet each other on walks.

I do go to puppy classes, and they're not allowed to interact yet (I think that's coming up soon). It is very useful, even without the training and advice, just having my puppy in the proximity of other puppies for an hour and have to settle down. I will definitely look into some more classes to book on to after the puppy classes.

I will forget daycare then. I don't really have any friends or family with suitable dogs. They're either reactive/nervous rescues or elderly dogs that the owners (understandably) don't want an excitable puppy around. I think I'm feeling guilty that he doesn't get to be around/play with other dogs.

Long shot - are you in Central London? I’d be happy to meet for pup interactions

Do you have a regular walk where other dogs go? If you really don't have any younger or patient dogs then walking near other dogs is the right way forward, and perhaps asking other owners if they seem to have a calm and friendly small dog if yours can say hello. You're doing fine with the crossing the road and distracting - it's good for dogs to be neutral around others - but your pup also needs to learn social skills and he won't if he never meets other dogs at all.

Mine went to daycare at five months, but only with one other dog at first, and he had been playing regularly with peers at our local dog park by then. Do you have a regular puppy sitter or dog walker who might know suitable dogs for your pup to meet?

Not yet. I've been told by our vet that he shouldn't go on walks around lakes/ponds or in woodlands yet because he won't be protected against leptospirosis for another 3 months? So he's only been having pavement walks so far, we see a few dogs but not many.

When the 3 months are up I'll be taking him on a walk around a lake most days where there'll be lots of dogs.

Another worry I have is about letting him off lead. Are on lead interactions enough? :(

I've never heard that before. Why does it take three months?
My puppy has been off lead in the woods since she was 11 weeks old.

Unless you delayed or missed his second dose, that isn't true. The lepto vaccine is effective for about a year, so some vets are cautious and recommend six-monthly doses rather than annually, but your puppy should be protected after the second dose.

I wouldn't say lead interactions are enough, but you need some confidence in recall. A training lead might help build confidence - you can drop it on the ground and let the puppy explore / play and stand on the end if he doesn't recall or gets too far for comfort.

Puppies really want to be with you so it's important to drop the lead as soon as you can to practice recall. You can start in the garden, or in a little park - I actually did this in our local cemetery as they really don't want to be far from you; you can just drop the lead and walk away calling their name and they'll run after you. Once you're a bit more confident about that you'll probably be a bit happier about letting them off lead to play.

Is there anywhere near you that isn't woodland or lakes? Just a little park or cemetery or something to let them sniff in grass and meet other dogs?

The only advice I will give is not to do what I did and over expose your dog to other dogs and humans - I swear having an over friendly dog is harder for me than my reactive dog ever was!

I know it’s difficult, but try and relax.
it sounds like you are doing all the right things, puppy classes and joining the socialising walks.

our trainer told us that every 3rd person was a good method to try, so allowing every 3rd person that asks to fuss etc to do so.