Don’t think I’ve ever fallen in love with my dog

[drivinmecrazy]

I feel like I’ve never fallen in love with our dog the same way as the rest of the family.
we got him at eight weeks and initially I was as enthusiastic as DH & 2 DDs.
He was really hard work as a baby puppy.

He had awful separation anxiety and endless energy, so what I’d guess you’d class as a ‘high needs baby’ if he were a human (I had one myself!).
his first year was hard.
Most of it fell to me as I’m the one at home with him all day.

But thanks to lots of training (and several trainers!) he’s becoming, albeit very slowly, the most amazing dog.

But I don’t think I love him.
DH and DDs absolutely adore him.
I just don’t get it!!

He’s now almost two and a half, and I still don’t get it.

I really like him but that’s about it.

im home with him every day and he just feels like a chore.
I walk him, I feed him, I play with him, talk to him. He even makes me smile all the time.

But I don’t feel it like my family does.

It almost feels like postnatal depression, like I had with DD1 24 years ago!!!!

How do I / can I break the cycle?

Do your DH and children consistently do the work of looking after him?

It is easy to 'adore' a pet when someone else is doing the work.

Are they involved in walking/feeding / training or are they just getting the fun bit. ?

This. Are your family involved in any of the dog chores?

I do all the work and 'adore' DDog. But I got DDog because I wanted a dog. The rest of the family love her too, but that's a bonus. I got her for me, knowing I would be doing the work.

Fortunately, dogs are not human and so will never know. I had one dog I loved and one I felt very neutral about. I treated them both well so it didn’t matter to them.

I know a lot of people who are not particularly interested in their family pet. I think it is pretty common.

Sounds like you are doing all the heavy lifting OP and the dog is another thing to add to your daily load. Not particularly desirable.

I do love my dog and would do anything for her, but not in the same league as the rest of the family. Once she goes I'd happily not get another dog, but that is not going to happen as OH will definitely want another one. They are very tying, take a lot of cleaning up after (and lint rolling!) and expense. I'd always have a cat though.

As long as dog is cared for and happy I wouldn’t worry. I adore my dog but DH is pretty neutral about him. I doubt the dog knows!

It may yet happen, OP. One of mine was incredibly hard work as a puppy (and I'd brought up other puppies, so I had comparators). She was 3 before I knew I loved her.

I took both dogs for a walk yesterday and apart from pulling a bit on the lead when we had to walk along the lane, she was an absolute delight - kept an eye on me, came when called. She will never be an easy dog, but she is a very sweet companion.

firstly if it is a family dog they should all be taking turns in walking feeding and cleaning up after it.
secondly sometimes love can come unexpectedly. if you do not have so much to do maybe you will be able to take time just to enjoy him/her.

I appreciate all of these comments.
I think it’s all come to a head this week because I’ve just started radiotherapy that’s an hour from home, so I’ve been organising and reorganising my appointments to fit in with not leaving him home too long and I just feel so overwhelmed.

He just feels like a burden at the moment.

would never get rid of him but often feel as if I had a magic wand, I’d instantly make it like he was never here 😢

anyway, today I’ve taken a leaf out of the mothers book and keeping treats in my pocket to reward (bribe) him and he’s been far better behaved (as long as we ignore the half packet of biscuits he scoffed when I dared go to the loo!).

It's taken me 4 years to fall in love with my high needs dog!!

I m his number 1 human, so I get more of the negatives than any of his other minders. Give it more time.

I wanted a dog for ages and when time was right we did, I got the breed I had as a child and was very happy
BUT he was a pain in the arse and very hard work and I had major regret, I enjoyed him but I am not sure I loved him
THEN when he was around 2 1/5 he became very ill and we almost lost him. I was absolutely devastated at the thought and I realised that I do love him very much. He is 10 now and when I consider that we only have a few years left and I dread it

I believe some family members need to step up a bit! At the moment the dog is just another chore. Take a step back and enjoy the fun things with the dog!