What dog do we want?

[WillowPups]

My boyfriend and I are looking at getting our first dog together. We have recently moved into a flat with a garden and our work schedules now align in a way that I think this would be the perfect time if any.
I finish work at 4pm-5pm, and my boyfriend starts at 2pm, so they will only ever be alone for 3 hours tops.
Ideally, I would give them a 30ish minute walk in the morning, then leave them with a kong with my boyfriend once I leave for work, my partner will then walk them again around 12, probably for a big run about for around 45mins-1hour, then leave them with another kong when he leaves. Then once I return home from work, we will go on another long walk (there are tons of lovely walks around here). A training session in the evening, and dinner on a snuffle mat before bed.
Basically, a dog who enjoys their exercise yet will happily snuggle with my boyfriend in bed once we get home, willing to be trained and likely to be social with friends dogs.
I work with dogs, so I have lots of experience with them however I want to make sure we do this right.
We are open to adopting.

My question to anyone thinking of getting a dog is - will your work schedule be this accommodating for 15 years? A dog can live that long or longer. How much might your life change in 15years? Will the dog still get those walks and your company for those hours?

Hi Op,
Your current schedule does seem
to work re getting a dog however what stands out to me is that you are in a flat. You don’t say if you own or rent but either way please check that you are allowed to have dogs living there. If you own, check
your lease documents, if you rent check with your landlord, also be aware that the landlord will have to abide by the lease and that sometimes they are ignorant of the details. Good luck!

I left my puppy after a week that long , worked up to it by starting at 10 minutes , then 20 , then 30, I was advised that the quicker they get used to your routine the better , he cried on and off for maybe 2 days but genuinely has been fine ever since !

Look around your local rescues. An adult dog is a million times easier than a puppy. If you live in a built up area then there are likely to be cats so that might rule out any with a high prey drive (unless you want all your walks to be on lead).

My rescue dog is a total Heinz 57 and is so content snoozing for 80% of the day. He likes a run but he loves a sniffy walk even more. We pootle at his speed so he can spend ages delicately sniffing each individual blade of grass along the way.

Yes, I work with dogs, what a strange thing for someone to lie about?? I’m asking for opinions from the owners themselves, taking care of dogs doesn’t mean I know how they are in the home, or what their owners know about specific traits.
I think it’s ridiculous that people are saying it’s shocking to leave a dog for 3 hours a day? Obviously not a tiny puppy but as I’ve said, we are already looking at older rescues.

I think you just have to have a back-up plan in case whatever dog you get isn't happy to be left, especially at first. Do you have the finances to pay for a sitter or daycare if you have a rescue that takes a while to settle or to be alone, or flexibility at work?

The other thing around breeds - and this is entirely anecdotal - is that the kind of dogs that are most likely to be okay being alone (terriers or other dogs bred to work alone) might not be the most sociable with people and dogs. How important is that sociability?

We are in a pets allowed flat!
Thank you

I have a cocker spaniel, she is very anxious and loves human company. Not sure if that's a trait of cockers or just her. I got her on freeads, she isnt hyper but not sure she would be happy to be left a few hours every day, I work from home and she has another dog for company.

I think spaniels are known for separation anxiety so I would be wary, I had a cavalier that would bark constantly whenever left.

I had a greyhound and lurcher and they could be left for a good few hours and were lovely but a totally different type of dog to my cocker and pug cross jack Russell.

Not sure what type of dog is best, it is probably down to the individual dog and worth speaking to rescues to match you.

Also agree 3 hours to be left is fine for a lot of dogs (not puppies- I have never got a puppy for this reason). I have always had two though so they had company, could you consider that?

A puppy is a no go as they can’t be left that long.

Have you considered what you will do if the older rescue has separation anxiety?

No one is saying you can’t leave a dog for 3 hours. They are saying you can’t leave a NEW dog for 3 hours. They need time to settle and get used to the routine before you can leave them this long.

Is taking time off an option?

I took a week off with a puppy … left him 10 mins the first day , 20 the second , and so on .
by time I went back to work was leaving him 3 hours without issue , never toileted indoors and cried for a few minutes ( according to neighbours! ) so it’s definitely possible, I didn’t have any problems .

How about looking out for a pair of bonded dogs from a rescue?
They might be company for one another and find it easier to settle.
last time I went to Dog’s trust I fell in love with a love pair of pugs, could have taken them home there and then.

This may have worked for you but it’s not the current advice given by dog behaviourists and can in fact lead to nervous dog with separation anxiety. The exception is not the rule, just as smoke smokers don’t get lung cancer. That doesn’t mean we start recommending smoking.

I can look into the option of possibly taking a week off, then my partner taking a week off, and then potentially seeing if I could finish work early for the week after if needed, working up in 5-10 minute increments at a time.

What do you recommend?

Not getting a puppy is the sensible recommendation to be honest. There's plenty of older adoptable dogs who will be content to be left either alone or with another dog for company.

2, possibly 3 weeks before leaving alone for 3 hours? That's wildly unrealistic. Even a well adjusted adult rescue without issues (of which there aren't many) is going to need several months before they are settled and secure enough to be left for 3 hours plus.

cocker spaniel

Imagine being a dog stuck in a kennel all day, unloved, unwanted...now imagine the dog having a kong, walked 3x a day and only left for 3 hours
some of you need to give your head a wobble!!!!

I would get an older dog (mabey 2 plus?) avoid the shitty puppy stage!

Also leave the dog straight away day 1 - even 20 mins, do not take 2 weeks off, induced separation anxiety!

take a couple of days off - but leave the dog straight off. If you are constantly there and then go, they will get separation anxiety! I left mine from day one, they are great and easily left for 4/5 hours (i do not but once had an emergency and was 7 hours - they were fine because of this!!)

What a lot of finger wagging going on in this thread!

agree with others about leaving them from day 1, start as you mean to go on. We got a puppy, crate trained him and within 2 weeks he was alone for 3 hours no problem. We got a camera to check on him and he’d be fast asleep.

look into different breeds and what their requirements are and see what works for your lifestyle. Our boy was seriously hard work as a pup but my god was it worth it, we’d be lost without him now

good luck and enjoy your new best friend whatever you go for!

The main thing that needs to be considered is that any dog whether it’s a puppy or an older rescue will need a considerable amount of time to build up to being left for 2-3 hours, so you need to think about that. Are you going to be able to take time off work or juggle shifts to be able to do that?

@carly2803 that’s not true. Leaving a dog that isn’t happy to be left is far more likely to lead to separation anxiety.
You won’t be able to get a pup OP. They couldn’t be left for that long. An adult could be. But once they have settled with you. And that could take much longer than a week or two.

Apologies, I missed your last update before posting…but yes, very important to build up slowly without the dog getting distressed.

Also leave the dog straight away day 1 - even 20 mins, do not take 2 weeks off, induced separation anxiety!

This is SUCH terrible advice. If it worked for you then you were incredibly lucky.

Think of a new dog like a baby. You don't leave a baby alone from day 1 because 'they have to get used to it'. You start off never leaving that baby for a minute because they need you, they need the reassurance you're there to feel secure and safe. You build up slowly to leaving a child alone.

You need to do the same with a new dog and especially a pup. For a happy, secure dog without behavioural issues the primary thing is for them to be bonded to you and to feel secure - and that comes from being present.

A new dog brought to a strange house and then left alone and in silence for 20 minutes the next day is likely to be anxious or downright terrified. They don't know you, they're not bonded to you, they have no idea where they are or if you're ever coming back. An awful experience to put a dog, especially a puppy, through.

We got our dog (a Springer Spaniel) at 10 weeks. She wasn't left alone day or night for a month...we took turns to sleep on the sofa. From a month in she was reliably sleeping all night and so we started leaving her alone at night to go to bed. She wasn't left alone in the day for another two months after that. Then we started building up leaving her from 5 minutes to 10 minutes, to 15 minutes etc over many months.

She's nearly 3 now and is perfect. She loves being around us but has zero separation anxiety and can be left for several hours when needed. Doesn't whine or bark, has never chewed or destroyed a single thing ever.

It’s interesting the comments you’re getting saying a puppy wouldn’t be appropriate, can’t be left for long etc. I think if you build up the time for being left, crate train so they are comfortable and see that as their safe space to chill in while you’re out and give them plenty of training, exercise and games when you are with them the dog is likely to be fine.

I got a working springer spaniel from puppy, we made sure we left him for periods to get used to us not being there, when he was a year old I had to go back into work 2 days a week so we got a dog walker at lunchtimes (for a run around a paddock). It would have been fine to do this earlier too and I know plenty of people who have left their young dogs for periods without issue. He gets very similar walks to what you are suggesting of 3 a day, although on weekends it’s usually 2 longer walks. The walks include games that tap into his breeding - “find it”, hide and seek, retrieves, steadiness etc. He is a very happy dog, can comfortably be left for several hours ( on a few occasions it’s been about 6 hours) and sometimes even looks put out if we come home earlier than he expects 😂. Like you, we used to leave him things to do such as treats to find, but now we don’t even bother, he sits chilling on a chair in the conservatory most of the time we are out. We stopped using the crate around 9-10 months old. It takes a lot of effort training and we did take ours to pet gundog classes which helps, but you sound like you know this is needed and have experience so you’re probably a lot more aware than many new dog owners.

I think a spaniel would be perfect for what you are suggesting as you sound like you like being out and active which the dog can enjoy with you, just make sure you get them using their brains rather than just physical exercise and teach it to chill and settle at home rather than letting it think it can remain hyper and excitable in your flat. Spaniels will always appear excitable and a bit crazy when out on a walk, but that’s part of the joy with them - you can’t help but smile when floppy ears, dangly tongue and a big smile comes pelting towards you 😊 (he doesn’t do this to strangers, just us, he ignore strangers).

I think dogs take their lead from their owners, so if you can remain calm, relaxed and make things fun for them hopefully your dog will be settled and happy.

Labradors are great. They love company but most are happy to be left alone for 3-4-5 hours (requires a bit of training of gradually leaving them). Also they love to be walked but are also happy snoozing a lot and mooching around the house watching you do stuff. They are relatively easy to train as they love food and quickly learn what to do to get it. My lab is walked for about 1hr to 1hr 30 a day, usually just one walk but would be happy with 2 x 30 min walks, especially if they are sniffy walks! Also if hot weather/we’re ill she doesn’t mind if we miss a walk for a couple of days in a row. Plus if we have a few more energetic days she will happily go on longer walks/more walks. Obviously, you need to watch this as they age as often they’re happy to go but will struggle the next day.

Only thing I would say is that it took time to build up to having a fab dog! Potty training included taking her out every 20 mins for the first couple of weeks, we then gradually increased it. Then had to re-teach when we spent more time in carpeted areas of the house. Also when puppies they don’t like being away from you, so I’d say between you and your partner, someone should always be with the dog ( applies to most dogs, I would think) for the first couple of months where possible and only leave them for very short periods of time, and gradually increase the length of time they are left for. This helps them build a secure attachment to you (so they know you come back) and they feel at home in their surroundings. Flit around the house/garden a lot when they are young and let them follow you everywhere (even to the loo) they will soon realise you’re always around/come back and will just flop somewhere comfy as following you is too much effort (unless you open the fridge anyway).

A few bad points with labradors…

the hair! I literally cannot explain to you how much they malt. It’s continuous and you will find their hair everywhere! I thought it can’t be that bad or I’ll just hoover every day. But it is that bad and I could hoover 10 times a day and still find hair. 🤣 Saying that, I’m happy to live with it as she’s a great dog!

you do need to watch them to make sure they don’t eat/chew anything they’re not supposed to. My girl chewed an internet cable, my son’s favourite toy and a slipper when she was young. She’s perfect now and will only chew cuddly toys and things that are given to her. She has lots of her own cuddly toys, chewy toys and regularly gets chewy treats (pizzles, hairy goat ears, fake bones etc) so the kids can leave their stuff around and she won’t chew them. She is very good with food that is not hers, she has on very rare occasions snaffled something that isn’t hers (once my sons sausages when his back was turned and some manky pastry on a walk that she later puked up) but some labs are worse than others, so bear this in mind.

If you don’t train them properly they are big strong dogs and they can pull you over/barrel into you/jump up at you or other people. Mine isn’t perfect but luckily only jumps up on my husband (who loves it) and not anyone else!