Feeling guilty about PTS dog

[Fennelseeds]

My gorgeous DDog (10 yrs) was pts on Thursday. I feel riddled with guilt about making the decision to have him PTS.

About a month ago I took him to the vets as he was reverse sneezing a lot, this had been going on for a while. The vet gave him a really thorough check over and couldn't find a reason for the reverse sneezing but did say he had something neurological happening as one of his back legs didn't react well when his paw was turned back. We left with him saying he was in good condition for his age and a prescription for steroids that would help with the neuro issue.

Once he started the steroids his legs got worse, he was knuckling and very wobbly. I took him back the following week and a different vet saw him and prescribed anti inflammatories and Gabapentin. She didn't think this was going to be an issue that would require him to be PTS and arranged for him to have X rays, her diagnosis was possible spinal arthritis.
Again once he started the meds he got worse, he was constantly knuckling, he had broken his back claws from it, he leant terribly to the left and was falling over, he couldn't manage the laminate floor and really struggled to get on the settee.
I went back to the vet on Thursday because of his deterioration and saw another vet. I wasn't sure whether putting him through the trauma of GA for an x ray was fair on him. And I knew deep down he wasn't going to get better. This vet said even if he was x rayed the treatment and operations he would probably need would be too much for him and given that he was deteriorating quickly she wouldn't be adverse to him being pts as he was beginning to struggle, he'd pooed in the house three days in a row which wasn't like him, he was getting cuts and scrapes from his gait being off.

I feel so bad that I made the decision to have it done later that day. She did say it could be anytime over the weekend but probably best to not wait too long. I'm racked with guilt, I brought him home to see the DC and so my our other dog could have one last cuddle with him. I now realise this has been comin gin slowly over the last year or two, he would get stuck in a corner and couldn't navigate the laminate floor, he would bang his hind legs coming in through the door but I put it down to his eyesight failing as he was getting older.

I didn't want to let him suffer anymore or for things to progress even more for him but I feel so, so bad. He was the best boy and was never any bother.

So sorry this has turned in to a long ramble.

I’m so sorry, it’s such a significant loss, and sounds like him being so unwell towards the end was also really upsetting for you so I’m not surprised you are going over it in your head. It sounds like you did the right thing for him x

Thankyou, it has taken me by surprise I think how quickly this has all happened. Everyone around me is saying it was the right thing to do and I did one last act of love by letting him go and not letting him suffer. I just feel so guilty, I miss his little face and him giving me his wet nose 😔

You made one of the hardest decisions be gentle on yourself
all to often people keep there pets going far longer than they should with a poor and miserable quality of life they do it for themselves not the pets best interest

you haven’t said much about him but the lengths you went to to try all options leads me to believe he was greatly loved cared for and will of had 10 glorious years with you

also if it wasn’t the right thing to do the vet wouldn’t of done it

It’s natural to feel guilty when you’ve had an animal PTS. You did the right thing. So sorry for your loss

He was a Whippet, loved cuddles and affection. He liked to pinch my outdoor shoes and run around the garden with them. Such a gentle boy that was an absolute joy to own.

eta - Thankyou for saying the e vey would have done it if it wasn't necessary. I keep thinking what if they just did it because I said I couldnt bare to watch him suffer.

Of course you hurt, but he has stopped hurting. Be kind tp yourself, if it didn't hurt there'd be something wrong.

You did the right and bravest thing. I felt similar guilt and doubts when I decided to have my old, much-loved lab cross PTS at the end of February. It's so difficult to make the decision without a crisis to warrant it, but it's the last act of love you can give them. I am so sorry for your loss, but please be gentle with yourself and proud that you did what was best for your dog, no matter how much it hurt you.

Poor old doggy. He was a really loved boy. You did the kindest most loving thing for him in the end. I think deep down you know that. Many vets and vet nurses say “better a week too early than a day too late” with PTS, because the animals don’t know, all they know is they feel pain or illness. And they know the loving feeling of a gentle stroke before goodbye.

My DM recently dragged her cat’s life out to 21 years of age and really it would have been kinder to let the old cat go at about 19. My DM admits that now but couldn’t let go. I’ve vowed to err or the earlier side with my beloved animals.

I think I saw your previous thread? You did the right thing by him. If there had been a better choice no responsible vet would have gone ahead. I don't want to divert the thread into contentious territory, but I have always found it perverse that we can care more for our pets and give them the dignified death they deserve, but can't allow the same for humans. It is a final act of compassion and love, that we let them slip into the final slumber without pain or distress - to do otherwise would be the thing to feel guilty about. It's ok to grieve their passing. They will always be a bitter sweet memory. But what would life have been without them?

I'm sorry for your loss.

One of my dogs had similar age 13. It was a disk. Like you, we just thought she was slowing down when she struggled with a step etc. We made the decision to go with surgery and she recovered really well. She's now 15 and, while her back legs are a bit weak, she is flying it. The vet had said she had 95% chance of a full recovery, which swayed the decision.

However, the recovery from that surgery is quite long and a fair commitment with physio etc. She has a temperament suited to that. She's stubborn and very stoic. If it had been my other dog who is a year younger, it would have been a disastrous decision to go with surgery as she would not have coped with the recovery at all. The one lesson I learned from the experience was to have a detailed discussion about what's involved in the recovery before making a decision.

What I'm trying to say is that there is no easy decision that will be right for all dogs. You can only make the best decision you can with the information you have at the time. The fact the vet pretty much recommended pts sounds like you made the right decision for your dog. It's the ultimate act of selfless love. You put your dog first rather than your feelings. That's tough but absolutely the correct thing to do.

You did the right thing and you did you did it out of love. He had a wonderful life with you.

@OchonAgusOchonOh
the vet did say if surgery was required then he would need to be in a crate for at least 6 months to recover then would need physio etc and that there were no guarantees the surgery would be successful. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I lost my dad two years ago, he became ill quickly and passed away within a few weeks. I know if I could have not watched him suffer I would have made a choice for him.

It just feels unfair that my boy was only 10 and I thought we'd have at least a couple of more years together.

Thankyou all for reassuring me I didn't act too hastily. I honestly couldn't bare to watch him get worse. Watching him fall over broke my heart, one morning this week all he was trying to do was step back into his bed and he went over. I was scared one day he'd fall and that he wouldn't be able to get back up at all.

That would have been no life for any dog. Mine wasn't in a crate. I definitely wouldn't have gone for the surgery if that was the case.

We had a harness to support her back legs when she went out to the toilet and we had to make sure she wasn't able to attempt to jump on anything for 6 weeks so if she wasn't with us, she was in the utility, which is small. We had to keep the two dogs seperate for a while but that didn't particularly bother her as they tend to sleep in different rooms anyway.

I suspect it was neurological but obviously I'll never know now. I'm not even sure he'd have withstood the anaesthetic for the x rays.
DH had to take him for me as I just couldn't watch him pass. It broke my heart saying goodbye to him at home, he left with a soaking wet head from my tears. I almost didn't let DH take him because I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing. DH said he passed as soon as they put the anaesthetic in, he was so weak.

Bless him, it doesn’t get any better once they start down that road. I kept mine going, arguably longer than I should have- threw everything at it, money no object, wanted him to live so much. He couldn’t be left alone at the end, had to be there to assist him if needed, carpets/rugs, only using part of the house, he’d pick up but then not do so good. It’s so hard to let them go, you let him go peacefully and not alone- it was time.

I'd got to the point where I didn't want him left alone just in case. The day before he was pts I had to get DH to work from home so I knew he was safe. That day DH had to pick him up twice after he fell.

Honestly? It’s the last kindness you can give them after a lifetime of love and loyalty. And yes, it’s utterly shit for you. Soooooo shit, just awful. But for him? It was the kindest thing. Would it have been better to keep him suffering for you? It wouldn’t. You did the absolute best thing for him, you loved him so that was all you could do. Hugs op, I know it’s just awful xx

Thankyou. I saw someone on another thread call their dog their Soul Dog. He was mine. He'd been there through some of the roughest times I'd had.

I adored him.

And I would bet my house he knew that 🥰 Dogs know….

I really hope he did 🙏

Sending you big hugs and thoughts. I'm sorry that your boy had to go on his final journey and not surprised that you're asking yourself if you did the right thing / did enough etc. Sometimes our doggies go downhill quickly at the end and the kindest thing we can do is send them on their way free from pain and discomfort, knowing that they were The Very Best Dog and very much loved.
I think your doggie would have hated post-op being on bed rest for all that time. It's quality of life when they hit double figures, and thinking about whether putting them through a procedure is going to add anything to their quality of life.
You're a good dog parent and amongst kindred spirits here. Be kind to yourself and give yourself space and permission to grieve.

You absolutely did the right thing imo. I plan to be as brave as you with this one. I wasn't with my first dog and regret it terribly. Remember the good times when you can.

Thankyou all for re assuring me that I did the right thing. It's so hard knowing if you're making the wrong decision even though everyone here has told me I did the right thing.
It really upsets me that I had to make that choice for him. Maybe I did it a little too soon but it is definitely better than being too late and him suffering more.

You did exactly the right thing. As pp have said, many owners keep their pets going for far too long, and it's really for the sake of the owner rather than the pet. I have done this myself too. I find it helps if I ask the vet "What would you do if this was your pet?" The answers can vary of course, but it's always been helpful to me.

You're feeling very raw now because it's so recent, but I think in time you will realise you did the right thing.

for you and ddog.