Puppy blues

[SkyetheRaven]

Hey I am new here and I am not managing very well. I have just got a new puppy She is 8 weeks old black lab. Also have a 12 year old husky collie. The puppy is great. Vets says she is prefect no be issues but I can’t help but be really sad and worried about everything. It has been 3 days since she arrived and I am crying all time for no reason and not enjoying any of the new puppy stuff. My older dog is a little overwhelmed by the puppy but she has never really had another dog in her house. I know it will take time and they won’t be best friends straight away but I can’t help but feeling they never will.
I am the type of guy who thinks worry about things won’t help or change the issue. I am feeling like we never should have got the new puppy and I feel so shameful and sad. I really want to keep the puppy. I just don’t want to feel this way and I am not sure what to do. My OH is a Rick and us taking the brunt of the work.
Sorry for the long post just had to get it out. Any advise would be great

Puppy remorse is real. Our lab was a complete land shark and nearly broke me. I very nearly returned her to the breeders. They were great and really supportive with lots of advice. Spend time trying to bond. Your older dog should help school the puppy as to what is polite in terms of biting etc which will help.

My older is very scared of the new puppy and goes hard as a statue when the puppy comes near here. It has only been 3 days but she has gone best part of 12 years with little interaction with other dogs.

12 years old is a very long time to be used to no dogs. And lots of dogs do not like puppies - they're boisterous, bouncy and have no sense of personal space and no understanding of appropriate dog behaviour.

Keep them separate in different parts of the house with a child-gate between rooms. Start slowly - once puppy is vaccinated you should introduce walks together carefully, but still give your existing dog lots of attention. Don't leave your puppy alone with the adult dog and don't let the puppy harass them - let the adult dog set the pace. And do not, as a PP advised, rely on your adult dog to 'school' the puppy - that is not the adult dogs responsibility (particularly if they are not happy or uncomfortable - it could lead to a nasty fight because chances are they will put up with so much and then just snap). It is your and your partners responsibility to install boundaries etc. with the puppy.

This will take time though - you're looking at months rather than weeks or days if your existing dog is so unhappy - and you need to fully commit to it.

Tbh though - these are all things the breeder should have told you and they should be providing you with support if you are struggling. Please do reach out to them. They should (if they are any sort of decent breeder) be willing and able to provide support.

All that being said, three days after bringing the dog home is very soon to experience puppy blues and I cannot help but wonder if you went into this a bit naive and expecting sunshine and daisies - and it's very often not with puppies (let alone with you have an older adult dog).

You are right 3 days is very soon. I never thought it would best friends day one. I knew it would take work. I am happy to work just worried about them getting on. I know they will be best friends and it will take time. Saying that being honest I did not think it would be this hard and take this toll on me but she is my puppy now and I will do whatever it takes to make it work. Thank for your advise a

Puppies are hard work. It can take time and a lot of managing situations to add them to a home with other dogs.
I had a dog that was very friendly and loved playing with every dog he met. When I brought a puppy home, he absolutely hated her. We had to keep them separated by stair gates for the first three months, with lots of careful, short supervised meetings.
I often ended up in tears, wondering if I'd done the right thing. This was usually after puppy had had me up since 5:30 and had been biting me for two hours with her little needle sharp teeth. It was quite a stressful situation, but the hard work paid off in the end.

Good luck with settling your puppy in. And remember, your feelings are totally normal. Most people I know had at least one "What have I done?" moment.

Why did you decide to bring a puppy home when you have a senior dog who has had very little interaction with others?

I would be keeping them firmly separated for now - it could take months for your older dog to adjust and some never do, especially at that age, I'm sorry to say.

Oof. I think with or without another dog in the family, a new puppy is more upheaval than a baby in some ways. Give it time, and make sure that your elderly doggie has space away from the pup when they want it. At 12 years old, they might never take to the puppy with boundless energy.

Have to say this resonates with me.

Your senior dog needs a safe escape, and to be able to take herself away from the puppy. Their breeds and needs are going to be different.

Labs are very social, generally tending towards extrovert, dogs. And as a young puppy, she will have no manners, know no boundaries. Your older dog may well help with that, but to be successful, she needs to be allowed to set the pace.

That said, look at some pheromone calming products. I have used Adaptil collars and plugins before with some success ( both dogs would need a collar so check if they are suitable for young pups.

Make sure each dog gets one-to-one time. And get your puppy enrolled to start classes as soon as she can mix with other

I hear you on the buyers remorse thing. My first lab, a male, was hard work at times, but oh so worth it.

I was looking at getting both my dogs in classes. One for the puppy and one for my older dog. I assume the social interaction part of the classes can only be good for both my dogs. What do you guys think? Also I do appreciate all the replies.

Honestly, I think at 12 your senior girl just needs plenty of space, peace and quiet. If she's never had much social interaction with other dogs then she is unlikely to enjoy or benefit from social classes at that age.

I'd definitely take your younger one to puppy classes. I take my 12 year old dog to a tricks class but that's because we've been going for a while and he loves it. It helps him focus on me when there's distractions but there's no socialisation within the classes. I think unless your 12 year old is active and you think they'd enjoy tricks or hoopers, then I'd not take them to any classes. I would make sure they still get 1-1 time with members of your household though and is taken on walks on their own sometimes so they can go at pace and distance. And in peace!

Hey everyone thanks for the advise. I am doing a lot better now and small update on the dogs. They are doing great together. In only 4 weeks they are best friends. They sleep together play together but also have time apart so they can just be with themselves. Little puppy has started puppy classes and is coming on great. I do think most people missed the point of the original post but I do think you for your advise and guidance.

I can't give any advice but can offer some hope. Our dog was 12 when we got a puppy. She just didn't ever much like other dogs. I cried, worried, regretted. The pup wanted to play and my old girl looked at me with pleading eyes. The chaos was too much for her and I was giving her more attention, too guilty to show affection to pup! I decided she might follow my lead and i began to invest more into the puppy. Suddenly, 4 weeks in, they were snuggling up, following each other about, enjoying each other!!! She died 15 mths later but I'm in no doubt the pup enriched her life. I really hope it works out OK for you.

Aww that's great news @SkyetheRaven Your elder statesman doggie is likely to regain some of his youth now he and the pup are settled together. Really pleased to hear!