Withdrawn guide dog leaving their fosterer to go and live in their forever home

[lovenotwar149]

So I have been a trainer fosterer for a guide dog that got withdrawn quite recently on health grounds. I am now his respite fosterer and he is with me F/T as he is not in training anymore. A home has been found for him and its looking likely that he will/may leave me in 2 wks. This may of course change.
He has lived with me and I have looked after him since Oct '24, a strong bond has formed.
I wanted to ask if anyone has been in my situation? I want to know how/if I will feature in his life after me? Do I get to meet the new owners? Can I pass on my details etc Can I offer , if they live nearly, to have him if they plan a holiday away etc.
I also want to suggest that a 'transition' occurs. i.e. can the new owners have him just for an afternoon to start with , or perhaps for just 1 night while he is still living with me. Im pretty sure my dog is going to be upset at going from seeing me all day everyday to not seeing me at all and to be with complete strangers!? Seems harsh not to have some transition period for the dog. How potentially unsettling for him.
Of course I will be finding this out from the GD assoc , but the rehoming officer is away atm,so I thought I would ask on here and see if anyone has any personal experience of this. Many thanks :)

Ah. It seems unfair then to try to hang onto him partially. Either let him go or rethink your decision. Is there really no way you can manage when you're back at work, eg with a dog walker coming to take him out in the day?

Our last dog was withdrawn from training at 13 months. A beautiful Golden Retriever. Her puppy walker sent her to us (via the rehoming officer) immaculately groomed, with her toys, a soft blanket with her name embroidered on it, and a sweet letter and drawings by her granddaughter.
Oh, and her puppy photos.
This lovely couple are now dear friends. We visited each others' houses and went for walks many times over the years.
We had our adored dog for 12 years.
We miss her every day.

Hachiko was a real dog who lived in Tokyo in the early 1900s. After his owner passed away, he continued to wait for his owner at a train station everyday. Hachiko became famous for his loyalty and devotion.

I dont know if anyone knows this story, there was a film made about it too ....I think it's called 'Hachi A Dogs Tale' with Richard Gere. Its a true story about a dog who formed a very tight bond with his owner. He used to meet his owner at the station after work every day for a year or so. His owner died suddenly and for YEARS after , Hachi would go to the same spot to meet his owner everyday, but he sadly never came.

This to me goes against 'dogs living in the moment.' I also know of friends who after going away and leaving their dog behind , when they return their dog sulks for some time and wont go near them. This too goes against 'dogs living in the moment, ' in my opinion. I too have experienced this situation with my dog when I have left the house for a while, but it didnt go on for very long.
My dog notices when I wear different clothes. I am convinced that he 'understands' so much and has definite emotions/concerns/anxieties just like a child.

Rightly or wrongly, this dog and I have formed a very tight bond indeed. Seems like there is a definite tilt towards allowing this beautiful creature to move on and for me to step back, step right back. Hmmm, I will ponder. Thank you again for further replies. Appreciated :)

PullTheBricksDown · Today 00:08

lovenotwar149 · Yesterday 20:29
We were offered him but I cant keep him forever ,( A very difficult decision) I am due back to work in may
Ah. It seems unfair then to try to hang onto him partially. Either let him go or rethink your decision. Is there really no way you can manage when you're back at work, eg with a dog walker coming to take him out in the day?

Well I thought it made sense for him to stay with us after he was withdrawn. As he had already been living with us since Oct and is very settled here. The aim being he would then go from here to his forever home. To have him moved again from us while awaiting his final home , seemed an unnecessary move. He is very happy here and very well looked after.

I know the Hachi story and other examples, which are moving, but definitely not going to help you with emotionally detaching. Neither is calling him ‘my dog’. What you describe, in terms of what you’ve done for him as a ‘mum’ is the role of a good fosterer and as you can’t keep him, you need to frame it to yourself that way and take heart from all the positive stories of dogs happily refining, rather than the Hachi side of things. The inclination towards the latter is also why you’re wanting the transition rather than the cleaner break, which is understandable but again not going to help with you letting go. It will be hard of course, more for you than the dog, but please try not to upset yourself and try to take on board the positive stories. They will prepare you better than the Richard Gere of it all. You’ve done a vital and incredible job. Enjoy the remaining time you have with him before he goes to his forever home, and try to think of him as their dog.

Oh, OP. He’s really not your dog. And you cannot compare a bond built between owner and dog over years and the time you have had with the dog - six months (most of which he will have been at training).

I’m going to be frank as I think you need a bit of tough love - and are being a bit delusional as to how this dog will feel - he’s not your dog, he will forget all about you within a few days, probably sooner.

TBH OP even if the dog had gone on to be a guide dog you may never have had any contact with it again.

Guide dogs will pick up the dog and it would then be dropped off with the person whose guide dog it will become. There is a one night when it goes to the new owner’s home, but that’s part of the matching process, not part of the settling in process.

If a dog qualifies as a guide dog you would be told that it’s qualified and after that it would be down to the owner as to whether they wanted contact. And tbh most don’t, although many choose to make contact with their puppy raisers. So in that sense the boarders get a bit of a rough deal.

In the case of rehoming, the dog is signed over to the rehomers, and will be their dog from then on.

And tbh dogs are a lot more resilient than we think. As long as they’re well loved, fed and walked that bond moves pretty quickly to their new owner.

FWIW I met up with my dog’s puppy raiser and he didn’t even appear to recognise her.

Guide dogs won’t allow that. It states very specifically on their website that rehomers need to be available for the dog - i.e. not work full-time and not employ dg walkers.

I have always rehomed rescue dogs and never once known or heard of one wasting away pining for its previous owner in real life. They just get on with it.

When I was younger my parents had friends who moved abroad and so had to rehome their dog. She was absolutely certain that the dog would pine away without her, t the extent they even considered having it put to sleep. <don’t get me started>.

Anyway, they did rehome the dog with friends of theirs, and left convinced that the dog was going to pine away and die.

About a year later they were back in said country for a visit and went to see these friends, and the dog. And the dog wouldn’t even go to them.

We've fostered rescue dog over the years, and I get it, sometimes it has been so tough letting them go. I always tell myself that (even though we've done so much to prepare them for their new forever home) we are just a stop on their long, and hopefully happy, journey. That they are now finally ready to be let out into the world and show someone else how it is to be loved by a dog (and it's so special, when you form a deep bond). It honestly is more like raising children than "normal" dog ownership, you teach them everything you can, you love them, but then you have to let them go thrive away from you.

Give yourself some time to form memories, but to be honest with you: you have to let him go completely. I never visit my foster dogs because it's somehow a bit painful to see how they've moved on. It's a happy sad feeling , I don't really know how to put it in words. They will always be happy to see you, but it will no longer be the overwhelming joy they used to show you, and it hurts a little.

But it is usually a good idea to have the new owners visit you a few times in your home, go on walks with the dog before they take them away. This way, the dog will know them a little and will not be so scared when it's moved. And they will see the dog as it is when comfortable and calm. But I'm not sure if you can influence that.

Exactly. Dogs live in the moment and really don’t pine for their old owners. They may feel a bit confused at first but they’ll soon adjust.

As others have said, kindly, he isn’t your dog OP. And I think him moving on to his forever home will be far harder for you than it is for him.

We have puppy raised two guide dogs. Our first went into training and we expected to visit him a few months later. In the meantime he was withdrawn from training and adopted by his fosterer. We didn’t see him again. I was very sad when he left us but had to remember that he wasn’t our dog. He was never supposed to be ours. When he left us, I put a note in his bag of toys with a description of his personality and his likes and dislikes and included my phone number. We are lucky that his fosterer - now his adopted family - send us occasional photos. They had no obligation to do this though. He looks so so happy in every photo and is clearly loving his life. I’d like to think if he saw us again that we’d get a wag and a cuddle, but he knows who his permanent family is now.

Our second guide dog pup was sent to us very unexpectedly aged 4 months. She seemed a bit unsure for a few days but settled in very quickly. She too was withdrawn and has been adopted by us. I doubt she’d remember her first puppy raisers. She’s a happy, loving, extremely lazy dog (hence being withdrawn from training - she just couldn’t be bothered!).

We have lots of photos of our beloved first guide dog pup. I also have a soft toy version who I cuddle sometimes!

We had decided to stop puppy raising after our second pup, even if she hadn’t been rehomed to us, because as a family (with teenagers) we found it too hard watching the pups move on. You do need to have a thicker skin than you might expect, because it’s natural to love them. OP, ‘your’ boy will be fine. I mean this kindly but he was never yours. You’ve helped him along on his journey so much though.

I don’t mean this in quite the harsh way it sounds - but he’s not your dog, he was never going to be your dog and you need to just deal with it.

Ive fostered dogs before for about that length of time and yep, it’s sad when they go, but you just have to think of the big picture.

Thanks for further replies. As hard as this is to say and write down, yes I agree with these comments. I NEED to let go indeed. INDEED. He isn't my dog , he wasn't from the start. ( Ooh dear , I feel tears as I write coming.) I will put my energy into enjoying this last bit of time with him, looking after him to the best of my ability and perhaps stop calling him 'my baby, my dog' etc . He isn't.
Thank you ppl. Yup , NOTE TO SELF : toughen the hell up! Thx again.

I think the first one is always the hardest.

Although when I met My Cat & couldn’t let her go, I was able to decide to keep her. Since you don’t have that option I think you’ve got some hard thinking to do.

It is fine to feel the way you are feeling but trust me the dog will be fine without you.

I have worked for assistance dogs and regulary foster and I can assure you that this is your issue and not the dogs.

Dogs are great at making bonds especially assistance dogs.

I have been journaling this morning, and I realise that this is MY issue not the dogs. An area for me to work on in myself it seems. Thankyou Guide Dog assoc for teaching me s'thing about MYSELF. And for this wonderful opportunity. (I may foster again....after a good dose of therapy ....lol!!)
Thank you mumsnet ppl for your comments ,its helped. a lot.I am glad I posted this. Much love ppl xx

Dogs really do move on incredibly quickly (as long as they are fed and cared for). I have rehomed dogs after their owners died and they were unsettled for the first evening and then fine. Labradors and retriever types particularly so, almost shockingly! We have just looked after a family member’s dog for a week - again completely fine, not bothered about their owner (and they are inseparable and rather jealous when with the owner).

We homed a Guide Dog who failed on a minor health point. He’s the best dog in the universe.

We were given his puppy raiser’s number and send them photos and videos of him fairly regularly. They really wanted to keep him but like you OP had reasons for not being able to do so.

If they were ever to visit our area (or us theirs) we would love for him to see them. We live a fair distance apart so it hasn’t happened yet but I hope it will one day. I’d like to thank the for the great job they did with him (I’ll stay quiet about his dreadful recall though! 😂).

I think this contact between owners and former owners is pretty standard for guide dogs so it seems likely you may have an ongoing connection to him.

But if not, you will know how well GD vet their prospective owners and that he will have been matched with an owner who will love him dearly and has a lovey future ahead of him.

His future owners will be incredibly grateful for all you have done, I know we are.

If it’s any consolation about how he will cope…a friend of mine rehomed a 4yo dog from a breeder and said for the first 4 weeks the dog was sad, wouldn’t wag his tale, etc. but after 4 weeks he improved a lot. That was years ago and the dog is very much bonded to my friend and I’m sure has forgotten about his previous home. He totally dotes on my friend. Your dog might miss you for a short time but they don’t remember stuff like we do. Once the dog realises he’s safe and loved and fed he will form a good attachment with his new owner.

These are nice reassuring comments ...thank u!

If it's any comfort - I was lucky enough to re-home a guide dog on her retirement. She was brought to me, walked into my garden as though she had known it all her life and settled herself peacefully down under the table. She gave no sign of noticing the Guide Dog person leaving.
We had two wonderful years with her, at first romping around at our home by the sea, and gradually just rambling placidly. She was much loved and seemed happy and she deserved every moment of her lazy life.

Update - A home has been found for him and he will be leaving me next Wednesday.

My perspective: "How lucky are they to have you, how lucky indeed! Have the best time, I'm very excited for your next chapter! Love you very much indeed!"

I am feeling pretty strong and I am so happy a forever home has been found for him and that he doesn't have to go to another fosterer. Result.

P.S. Will there be any tears, most probably, but hey...its all good :)

That’s good. He will be ok. Keep your chin up. You’ve done a good thing helping him on his journey.