Withdrawn guide dog leaving their fosterer to go and live in their forever home

[lovenotwar149]

So I have been a trainer fosterer for a guide dog that got withdrawn quite recently on health grounds. I am now his respite fosterer and he is with me F/T as he is not in training anymore. A home has been found for him and its looking likely that he will/may leave me in 2 wks. This may of course change.
He has lived with me and I have looked after him since Oct '24, a strong bond has formed.
I wanted to ask if anyone has been in my situation? I want to know how/if I will feature in his life after me? Do I get to meet the new owners? Can I pass on my details etc Can I offer , if they live nearly, to have him if they plan a holiday away etc.
I also want to suggest that a 'transition' occurs. i.e. can the new owners have him just for an afternoon to start with , or perhaps for just 1 night while he is still living with me. Im pretty sure my dog is going to be upset at going from seeing me all day everyday to not seeing me at all and to be with complete strangers!? Seems harsh not to have some transition period for the dog. How potentially unsettling for him.
Of course I will be finding this out from the GD assoc , but the rehoming officer is away atm,so I thought I would ask on here and see if anyone has any personal experience of this. Many thanks :)

To be honest, I would anticipate handing the dog over and that's it, you won't be seeing it again.
I think it would be worse for it to stay at its new home for a night and then go back to yours temporarily.

Do u think so? Seems brutal, but I am anticipating that that is most likely what will happen. I am sue he will wonder where the hell I am. Feel sad

I might be wrong...but I am pretty sure you get no say in it. The dog's not 'yours' so you can want things, but they are more than likely to say no. Even if the new owners say yes (and tbh, I'm not sure why they would) the charity is likely to say no.

Someone I work with has guide dogs - and she wanted to keep in touch with the last one who was 'retired' and the charity said no as it would be confusing for the dog to have her ducking in and out of his life. The dogs move on fairly quickly tbh - she has never had an issue with her guide dogs 'pining' for their fosterers, so I don't think a 'failed' one would either - sorry as I know that's probably not what you want to hear.

Honestly, if you're struggling this much then - and I mean this gently - being a fosterer is not for you. It's like being a breeder - the dog (or in my case puppies) are never mine to begin with and you need to accept.

LandSharksAnonymous

thank you. I am struggling tbh, not in a ridiculous way , I will cope when he leaves. Its my first time doing this, and its my first dog ever. Its s'thing else, it really is. Did not think I would immerse myself in this project as much as I have done. Its been an incredibly meaningful journey for me, I am immensely grateful for the experience too. Yh maybe its not for me , not sure. I see him as a child, a foster child. He's 18 months and I am actually his 4th home. He lived with a puppy raiser for the first year.Then moved to a trainer fosterer who developed an allergy to his hair, moved to another home for a wk, then came to me. I am sure he will experience a level of anxiety when he leaves my home. He's incredibly settled here and very happy. I feel for the guy tbh.

I guess I do see him as mine in a sense anyway. I understand he isn't mine 'on paper' but I have been feeding him, grooming him, walking him, nursed him through kennel cough (he had it bad) , 2 seizures and more. I have effectively been his 'mum' since Oct.

Can you not request to keep him?

Could you be a failed fosterer and keep him?

We were offered him but I cant keep him forever ,( A very difficult decision) I am due back to work in may

He's not a "child", and you are not his "mum". He's a dog you looked after for a while.

He will be fine. Dogs live in the present. His new home will have been assessed, and they will love him, and care for him and he'll have a great life.

ouch!

That's a shame. It's probably best for him not to see you then as I'm sure that would make him even more anxious. Hopefully, his new home will be full of love and he'll soon settle in.

I think I'd think about all the things I'd like to do with him over the next two weeks - take him on his favourite walks, maybe get some nice photos etc. Things that will help you start to say goodbye to him and accept he's moving on to his new home.

noctilucentcloud

Yes I have adopted this attitude very much so, and have started this already. Thx

I guess we all have our own personality styles. I am very emotional for sure, and I have absolutely loved this dog and spent quality time with me everyday since he lived with me. I dont think there has been a morning when I haven't been excited to see him in the morning. No crime in that is there? Its been an absolute pleasure to look after him. He's ridiculously sweet , ridiculously!

Better to have loved a dog and lost, than not to have loved a dog at all!!

tonights podcast......'how to emotionally detach!!'

Thank you ppl for replies, much appreciated!

You having loved this dog and cared so much for him means you've set him up for life. That's an amazing thing to have done, he's now on to his next chapter - but you enabled that.

Oh what a shame that you can’t keep him. Is there no way if you use dog walkers/minders when you go back to work?
Otherwise you just have to say goodbye and think that he has probably been found a lovely forever home where he will quickly settle and have a great life.

noctilucentcloud

Ahh ,I love that comment , thx. Thats the one I'm keeping in my head...thx again for it :)

OP, I agree with @LandSharksAnonymous — I’m not sure that being a fosterer is for you if it’s causing you this level of distress. I mean that kindly. I recently spent almost two years looking after someone else’s dog. Of course I grew very attached to him and he to me, but it wasn’t my call when he was rehomed (I couldn’t take him, as he was too snappy, nervy and reactive to have around children, and he’d bitten people). I called to check on him in his new home a couple of times once he’d settled, and while he was happy to see me, he’d moved on, and connected with the other dogs living there. He no longer needed me.

Awwww. Very difficult OP. I guess a clean break is best for the dog, if not for you. 💐

I have a colleague who is blind and has had several dogs. One retired very recently and has gone to an excellent home. She will see him again, but not for six months or so when I'm sure he'll be living his best life in his new family, as a pet rather than a working dog. She's shed a tear, but this is her fifth dog and deserves a retirement.

I fostered 9 cats over 2 years before meeting My Cat, & the hardest part is definitely saying goodbye. After the first one I learned not to get too attached, although of course you love all of them.

My hobby is crochet & all of my fosters took a blanket & a favourite toy with them when they left. I’ve also got a gallery of photos of them on my wall.

Would anything like that work for you, if you’re going to carry on fostering?

I haven't done this but was on the receiving end when a close friend of ours, a very knowledgeable dog owner, had to part with one of her dogs. She gave her to us and said that under no circumstances would she meet the dog again. She said it was less confusing for the dog rather than repeated separations. I think she was right. A transition might be better for you but not for the dog. You stand the hard parting so they don't have to suffer multiple partings.

My dog is a rescue dog. She lives with her previous owner for eighteen months, from when she was a puppy. She couldn’t manage her anymore and I went and collected the dog. I was really worried that she wouldn’t settle but she was just completely fine immediately. She sniffed about the place and then when dh came home she was thrilled despite never having set eyes on him in her entire life. We think she must have recognised his smell from,the house.

I've had quite a few foster dogs and whilst there is always an adjustment period I do agree that it's easier having a clean break so the dog can get used to this being his new life as opposed to doing it gradually. Its easy for us to put human emotions into it but remember that you've been a positive influence in this dogs life and helped him get to his forever home. He will be fine, I think it can be harder for us but you've done a lovely thing taking care of him up to this point