Elderly dog, worrying behaviour towards baby

[Noshadealltea]

I don’t know what to do for the best.

My elderly dog today snapped at and nipped my baby, she was crawling past him (not touching him or anything) he swang his head around and nipped her. She has a tooth graze mark on her forehead.

She is ok, but I no longer want our dog anywhere near her.

He will be 19 in April, going senile, having accidents on the floor (regularly and has been for months), and my gut feeling is to have him PTS.

My partner is very against this, but our dog has actually hurt our baby.

My partner has said to use a barrier so the dog can’t get near the baby, but the baby does not want to be penned in and the dog does not want to be shut out.

I don’t know how to get through to my partner that this isn’t a realistic long term solution, and I would never forgive myself or him if she got hurt because he refuses to put the dog to sleep.

Feeling very upset right now.

@Noshadealltea

"I don’t know what to do for the best"

Yes, you absolutely, do. Your boy needs to be re-homed, surely?

You are absolutely right to want to pts the dog.
If your partner seriously doesn't understand that, either you have to take charge or you have to tell him that until the dog goes you will have to move out.
Hopefully that will bring him to his senses @Noshadealltea
So sorry you are having to deal with this.

I would have absolutely no hesitation in PTS in this situation. In fact I think any other course of action would be negligent.

I’d speak to your vet for advice. I’m not certain that being pts is better than being shut out, but something needs to change

You cannot take a chance with your baby. Your dog has had a long happy life but he doesn’t sound to be enjoying life very much now. Keeping him away from the baby, and inevitably you, will distress him further. I don’t think you have any options other than to put him to sleep. I’m very sorry.

I would suspect with a 19 year old dog that there is a high chance pain is behind this behaviour. They can be very good at masking pain.

One of our dog had behaviour changes with an age related condition. We loved him dearly but knew the safest, kindest and best thing for him was to PTS. Dogs can and do kill babies. We never left our dogs alone with our children until they were much older.

Honestly, even without the snapping, if the dog is becoming senile and having accidents, it’s probably at the stage where the kindest thing to do is have him PTS.

Possibly for a younger dog, but this dog is 19, senile, and incontinent. I think at this stage, not PTS is inhumane. His quality of life is already significantly compromised and will only get worse, and that's before you even begin to consider the risk to the baby.

I recently had to watch a family member fail to PTS an elderly, much loved dog until far, far to late. By the end I found it really upsetting to visit and it was clear to everyone except her owner that it was inhumane keeping her alive as long as he did.

The poor old boy sounds like he is at the end of the road. He would be so distressed by at change in his environment. I think the kindest thing for him ( and the safest for your baby) would be to be pts.

At 19, accidenting on the floor and being senile, your dog is probably in pain tbh.

Put him to sleep - if he wasn't the age he is, nor clearly in a very sorry state, i'd argue for something else, but at his age and in his condition...it's the kindest thing.

Dogs are inherently clean, so as soon as accidents start it's a sign you need to begin to say your goodbyes.

And if your partner won't listen, be completely frank - tell him his selfishness is prolonging the agony and suffering of an old dog. It's cruel. He is being cruel. Usually I wouldn't advocate for being so blunt to someone - but your partner is a twat twice over for not caring about his kid enough, and not caring the dog is suffering.

I’ve gently broached having the dog PTS because of the accidents and him going senile/having funny turns etc before. But my partner has always got very upset and cross about even the suggestion.

I WFH so spend the most time with him/do all the pet care and I see how he has deteriorated so much in the last few months but my partner just refuses to accept it.

When I told him about the snapping incident his response was ‘she shouldn’t be clambering on him’ to which I replied that she wasn’t and all she was doing was crawling past him. He isn’t a small dog so even though there was a decent space between them he could still reach her to nip.

Ive had to shut him out of the living room when I’m not in there as he 100% will poo on the floor if left in there alone likewise I’ve had to put a barrier up to my office as he will again use it as a bathroom.

It’s just so upsetting and frustrating that my partner won’t see what is in front of him.

@Noshadealltea

Baby trumps dog, EVERY single time, WITHOUT exception

PTS

Has he been to a vet?

10000% agree but sadly not everyone thinks that way (Not you OP, just in general)

No, he needs to be PTS.

There's online quality of life checklists you can look at to assess the quality of life for your dog. Maybe that'll help your husband start to see. Or a very honest conversation with the vet. If nothing else, you should take the dog to the vet to rule out pain. But realistically I think that this is pts time. While you discuss this with your husband, I think you need to use baby gates so your baby is in one room and the dog in another (baby gates should ease the dog being unhappy at being separated and at 19 I'm guessing he can't jump them).

(Edited as I forgot a bit!)

For a younger well dog yes. But at nearly 19 and senile, having a new home or kennels would be so confusing and I think not in the fogs best interests. Sometimes pts is the kindest option.

I’m going to have to have a serious chat with him when he gets home from work. I love the dog, but I love my baby more and will always be choosing what is in her best interest. Thanks for the checklist suggestion. I’ll be doing that this evening.

If he cannot be the responsible parent you have to be. Your baby is 8 months old too young to be expected to know how to behave around a dog anyway so that is a silly comment from him. The risk is next time serious injuries with disfigurement requiring plastic surgery or worse for your baby. Neither of you will forgive yourselves if that happens.

Your poor dog is likely stressed by the baby, at the end of their life and in pain. The baby should absolutely not be crawling anywhere in the same room as the dog. Use gates in the meantime and do not leave baby unattended around the dog at all or on the floor when they are in the room, but really the kindest thing is PTS.

Um, he's 19, senile and incontinent - re-homing would be incredibly unkind.

OP, put your lovely boy to sleep. He deserves a kind ending.

You need to PTS
Not solely because of the danger to your baby (a young dog could maybe be rehomed) but because he sounds very unhappy generally and is probably in pain
Being PTS isn't an awful thing for a dog, they won't know what is happening

Even ignoring the incident it is cruel to keep an old senile incontinent dog because your partner doesn’t want to say goodbye. He is not going to get better. He is old and coming to the end of his life. PTS

Separately, any dog that hurts a child cannot remain in the household.

I’d definitely speak to a vet. If the vet thinks PTS is for the best they will say so, and your partner might be willing to accept a professional opinion.

Thanks all. I will be calling the vet.

I think it sunk in when i reiterated to my partner that had she been even a tiny bit closer to him she wouldn’t just have a small graze from a tooth, he would have actually bitten her in the face, and that this isn’t something that we can just monitor to see if it happens again and then take action. If it happens again she could get seriously hurt.