Tell me honestly what's involved in having a dog

[Holidayfix]

Both DC would have loved a dog growing up. I'm not a dog person, it's not that I dislike them, I've just never been around them. With DC my default answer was always it wouldn't be fair, we're all out all day.

However, I'm now widowed and about to retire (early, very fit) and adult DC work shifts so there one of them at home more.often than not.

They've said now I'm retiring we could get a dog and infind I don't hate the idea. It would be company in my widowed state and love to get out for a run or walk, which I do at least daily, so I could get it lots of exercise.

I'm less keen on the idea of all the additional cleaning, keeping the house free of hair and smells. Plus no doubt there's loads more to do I haven't thought of.

PS I love having a dog 😂 For a start there's always someone happy to see me - which is nice when you live with teenagers...

You will love him/her more than you ever thought possible.

I love dogs. But….
Having a puppy is hard work. You have to potty train and get them sleeping through the night which is intense and exhausting for the first few weeks.
They bite you, which is painful. You have to train them gradually to be left alone, so you can’t just dump them for a few hours in the early days.
Unless you get a non shedder, your house will never be clean for more than five minutes, and even if you don’t think it smells of dog, it does.
It costs a fortune in food, toys, insurance.
You can’t just do holidays and things spontaneously because “what about the dog?”
You can’t just have a lazy lie in on a Sunday, because dog needs walking.
However…most of these things also apply to babies, and you still had those!

We have a border terrier. She doesn't smell (believe me, my mum would say if she did!). She does shed but not to an extent I can see it at home. But it does fill the vacuum every time I use it!

My husband was a home worker when we got her (she's now 10). We worked her up to being left alone over a long time, so we were leaving her for the odd day for 8 hours by the time she was about 4 years old. That meant we could do a day trip/attend a wedding without her.

We walk her every day. In her younger years it was an hour a day. Now it can be an hour, or 10 minutes - she doesn't care either way.

She gets up for breakfast when we want to, so that can be 6am or 8am.

Presumably one of your adult children could look after a dog if you go on holiday? If not, do look into home boarding - they are SO expensive now. They can book up 6 months in advance and charge up to £50 a night! We take her on all uk breaks (including to london) and just go to dog friendly bars and so on.

It all depends on the dog. I have one that is a couch potato and doesn’t like to go out if it’s raining. However I do need to take him out for a run out as it’s good for both of us. Puppy months are hard work but the pay back is so worth it. I couldn’t cope with a dog which required hours of walking and needed tiring out.

Lots of sensible and honest advice on here. One thing that hasn't been talked about is, saying goodbye! A friend put on FB once,"what's the worst thing about having a dog"? "Saying Goodbye". I have had to do it so many times. Last time was 2 years ago January, we've had 3 dogs live to almost 18. A toy breed a Phalene,a border collie,both had CCD for several years, and a Heinz. You don't know if you are going to have this,I have had friends with diabetic dogs, expensive health conditions. One was a foster carer for a dog charity another a guide dog mum. Second ended up keeping the failed guide dog, and having more dogs. I've had cross breeds,a lot of collies. When I met my second DH (yup,we both had dogs!) his didn't like mine.. I don't have pet insurance anymore,we did with the Phalene,he came with insurance, but it got ridiculously expensive. All our borders have been farm stock. They are neutered, occasional teeth cleaning under anaesthetic,I subscribe to vetplus,it's £20 a month for each dog,covers all the basics, and 10% off extras. Goes by dog weight so saving on average £200 pa.. as a rule, dogs don't smell,it's their oil and dander, realistically,you need to vacuum at least 5 times a week,wash floors weekly (more if it's muddy, I use a flash power mop, and the pet solution,I don't like robot vacuum cleaners, they can't get under my furniture. I have a corded shark pet,no understairs cupboard anymore, little storage,it fits on the wall behind the kitchen door.Filters are washed monthly in washing liquid and then fabric conditioner When I had bigger properties, I got through several upright Dysons. I did try rescues, a few months after loosing our boy, literally the whole of the UK. I didn't want a brachial face,or staff. It was "reactive to other dogs, people, bikes,cars,must be only dog, separation syndrome, long-term expensive health conditions,no visiting children under a certain age, reactive or very nervous of visitors. We ended up with a puppy! When my 9 year old was a puppy, I worked nights,DH days, I suddenly got a virus, ended up in hospital! Thankfully my oldest DS,who lives an 80 mile round trip away, could come over. Let's say, our experience of dog walkers has not been positive! Bearing in mind,most people know the traits of border collies, I would say,chilled owners,chilled dogs. I have a friend who is very neurotic, and the dogs that she had,oh boy, unable to be left, and an absolute fortune in various therapies, medical and psychological. I have been with my veterinary practice for over 25 years,they are an 80; mile round trip. I have tried quite a few local ones, and not been impressed.

Dogs are very much what you make of them.

You can spend a little or a lot. I have a high-drive working breed and my major outlay has been on training. We don't insure as we have an adequate savings buffer that we could use if we had a sudden massive vet bills (third party is covered by house insurance). We avoid the vet for minor things - skinned pads and wire cuts we treat at home. They get a mid-range food which they thrive on, and we buy good quality beds etc so while the initial outlay is steep, they last for years. A big cost is kennelling when we go away. Our two do well in kennels - they eat well and come home happy. It costs about £35/night for the two of them, so that's a big bill if we go away for a fortnight. If we go out for the day we pay a local teenager to walk then at lunchtime or immediately after school.

Exercise and mental stimulation are both biggies with my two. They get an absolute minimum of an hour a day, the vast majority of it off-lead. DH is out with them now, that'll be an hour, and I'll take them this afternoon, probably for 30-40 minutes which will include some training time (the two of them need it, they enjoy the outlet and we all have fun).

I suspect that the downstairs of my house has a slight undercurrent of dog smell, especially in the winter, but I wash their bedding regularly which keeps it to a level that we don't notice. I have to do some extra floor washing, but we only usually hoover once a week aside from that. Now and then some mud gets up a wall, and paintwork definitely gets scratched. I like my house clean and tidy, but slightly tatty decor doesn't bother me.

Puppies are hard work, but they really vary. Our last one was our 4th, and she nearly broke me. She was very difficult to house train (and train in general), genetically quite anxious and also hyper. The previous one housetrained by about 11 weeks, absorbed training like a sponge, and has always been a very confident dog. Same breed.

They wreck your lawn if they pee on it. They will destroy your garden if you let them. You will find yourself walking in horizontal rain with a windchill of -3C. You will acquire special dog walking clothes for such times. You will clean sick off carpets.

But if it goes okay, you will have an enthusiastic and happy and cheerful companion who will make you laugh, get you exercising even when you don't fell like it (and you'll feel better for it) and always be thrilled to bits to see you when you get home.

If you’re not a dog person don’t do it! You shouldn’t do it for your kids. You need to be fully on board and really excited about it.

My sister got one and was always very meh about dogs and hasn’t enjoyed it. The dog is now 13!

obviously the main thing is the amount of exercise they need and how tying generally it is on your life. I absolutely adore my dogs so I don’t begrudge this. However from what you’ve said you just don’t seem into it so please don’t.

They are a way of life and not an add on. Even a well bred dog from a very good breeder will present you with problems you need to work through of varying degrees. Mine for example has taken about 2 years of very careful training and gradual exposure to be able to be left alone for a few hours without stress. Not uncommon and not a breed trait. It's just her personality. Another dog may throw you reactivity, poo eating, cat chasing etc etc etc. All easy to work through but you do need to work through them. The calm adult easy going dogs you meet have all had hours of blood sweat and tears put into them.

I can't imagine how hard it would be if you weren't a dog person.

The calm adult easy going dogs you meet have all had hours of blood sweat and tears put into them.

I'll second this. Chilled out dogs have typically taken a tonne of investment of time, energy and commitment from the owners.

Well everyone is giving you the absolute worst case scenario here and yes it can be hard but not always.
We genuinely look at the dog all the time like we're new parents and so proud of him and how lush he is. Genuinely several times a day. He's started to cuddle in now and sleeps at the end of the bed. He doesn't shed, that's depends on what type of dog you get and mess is a minimum if you wipe or clean paws when they come in. We toilet trained him pretty easily but yes was a few accidents in the house when we fist got him. He's an intact male so we do still get the odd 'marking' wee in the house which is not ideal but easily cleaned.

Having a dog is a lifestyle choice for the next 12-16 years.

As others have said dogs needs come first: walking, holidays, days out, toileting, feeding times ....

Yep although this will also vary within breed. We have struck lucky in that DDog is totally not arsed about walks. Didn't get one for three days last week while I was in bed with the flu. Totally unbothered, snoozed next to me on the sofa, occasionally played with her toys and I let her into the garden every couple of hours for a sniff about and to do her business. Very content little dog.

I’m not the best person to advise, as we find it a doddle. Our dog is 14 months old and we found the puppy stage completely easy. He was 9 weeks old when we got him and didn’t need to go out overnight and was very quickly housetrained in the day. He never chewed anything he shouldn’t.

He’s not shiny coated so doesn’t smell, and he’s a non-shedding breed.

This is the third dog we’ve had and the other 2 were easy too.

I have 3 and wouldn’t be without them.
Yes there is mud and hair to contend with but a quick wash and dry after a walk and an area for them to finish drying in post walk eliminates the worst of it.
They dig up the garden, eat things on walks they shouldn’t, need expensive grooming and dog sitting if we go away for a few days but they are worth it.
We dog walk twice a day or when they hit 18 months we started to canni cross with them.
They are like 4 year old children in that they need supervision, lots of attention and games to play but the doggy cuddles are the best.
We have three different breeds Love them all.

The main thing you should not underestimate is the degree to which a dog is a tie.

Yes, you can arrange dog-sitting or ask family members to look after your dog, but gone is spontaneity, you can't just wake up and go out for the day unless it's somewhere you can also take your dog; you have to factor in your dog to holidays, overnight stays, weddings, funerals - anything where it isn't a given you can take a dog.

You also need to walk your dog come rain or shine, in sickness and in health; you have to be up in the mornings in time to let your dog out to go to the toilet.

I think it’s important to give the worst case scenario though - because so many people get dogs and then struggle massively with the commitment and time involved.

Everyone has a different definition of what makes a dog “difficult” too, which makes it even harder!

Having a dog is a wonderful experience. I just couldn’t imagine being without mine and they are a huge part of our life.

Most important thing is choosing the right breed. You need to have a good understanding of what you can give in terms of time and resources and what you need from a dog and choose a breed accordingly.

IMO biggest downsides of dog ownership are the ongoing costs (our insurance is v. expensive, daycare and kennels, vets etc) and the tie of having a dog (no spontaneous weekends away etc).

If I was too unwell to walk him he would be fine as a one off (has access to garden) but dog ownership for us does mean going out in howling wind and rain at times wether you want to or not.

The days of them being a puppy/teen can be tough but they are short lived and as long as you’re aware what to expect you will be fine.

For us the benefits are enormous. We adore him and him us but I can’t stress enough how important it is to get the right breed for your family.

I never had a dog until 4 years ago when we decided to get a puppy.
He is now part of our family, the bond is so strong and it’s hard to imagine life without him.

Re walks, he’s a Lab so walks are non-negotiable, regardless of weather but (strange, I know) I actually enjoy taking him out in the rain, wind etc! I bought a coat that is 100% waterproof and it’s made a huge difference.

I think the thing I found the hardest, going from someone with no experience of dogs was the impact on my independence.
As many posters have commented on, spontaneity is no longer a thing.
But 4 years later, I’ve got used to it and don’t begrudge it.
If you can find doggy daycare where you know your dog is happy, exercised and cared for, that’s a huge bonus.

@Looneytune253 I think it's important, as @biscuitsandbooks says, to be frank about hard it is.

There's a reason why I, and several other breeders I know, don't sell to first time owners - because owning a dog is not easy and too many people have a blase attitude and think 'oh it'll be fine.'

I think the upsides massively outweigh the downsides.

If you get a puppy you have to be around really pretty much all the time for the first 3 months and up to 6 months they can't be left for long. They also can't walk far at first.

It helps to build up a network of people who will look after the dog/take the dog so if you have a family occasion away (or all day) there is someone the dog feels safe with and who is happy to take them overnight or whatever.

Our in laws take the dog when we are on holiday but it has meant we can't go away all together on holiday now unless it's somewhere dog friendly.

Or train the dog early to go to homestay or have a trusted sitter.

I love having a dog, we'd never had one as a couple - though both had dogs as kids. She's funny, great company, and adorable.

Yep - and the main issue is that you don’t know how you’ll cope with your dog until they’re home and it’s too late.

I’ve known lots of people say “well, I knew I’d have to do X but I never realised how difficult it would be” or “ I thought I’d be able to do Y by now but I can’t” - and they’re clearly resentful but are also in a situation where they love their dog and don’t want to re-home even though they’re struggling.

It also doesn’t help that all puppies are different and you can’t tell what type yours will be - you can do all the research and pick the best breeder possible, but your pup could still end up reactive, or with separation anxiety, or become a resource guarder.

I think the upsides massively outweigh the downsides.

So do I, but equally there are lots of people who don’t feel like that. Mainly those who have been pressured into getting a dog by their DH/DC and are now stuck doing the grunt work because the novelty has worn off.

I’m not for one minute trying to say that OP shouldn’t get a dog, just that it’s important to go into it with your eyes wide open and have a think about what you’d do if you were sick, or had a dog that was reactive or hated being left alone.

You have to pick up their poo.

Don't rely on thinking that your dog will like doggy day care - our dog hated it. She'd also never by OK in a kennels. I mean she's a relatively chilled dog. But she likes her own people. We left her with friends once (who she knew) while we and all the usual people who look after her were at a wedding together.

She spent the entire day sitting at the door politely (apart from going out to wee) - waiting to go home