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Wanting a puppy but still grieving old dog

5 replies

dogmo · 13/03/2025 22:33

Has anyone been in this situation? I desperately want a puppy, but I am still grieving my old dog. My life feels so empty without a dog, but every time I take a step towards getting a puppy I have a wobble, yet the idea of waiting a while upsets me too. One day I will decide I want a different dog breed to my previous dog, the next I will decide I want to have the same breed as it's familiar.

I know the indecisiveness probably means I'm not ready. I just can't let it go, I spend all my time looking at rescue sites and local breeders, researching dog breeds. I've even started buying things for my future puppy and dog training books. Then I feel immense guilt that I'm somehow trying to 'replace' my last dog and rush myself through the grieving process

OP posts:
Ellmau · 14/03/2025 00:18

Only you can decide when you're ready.

But future New Puppy won't replace Old Dog, he/she will just make a new place in your life/heart.

LandSharksAnonymous · 14/03/2025 07:28

It's a very individual choice but if you're not sure what breed, or when, then just slow down. Think about the qualities in your old dog that you loved - were they really loyal and friendly, or were they a 'one human dog' or were the just an exercise nut you could always be out and about with? Are those qualities you want again, or do you want something different?

In the end, a new dog won't replace your old dog but you probably will compare them - because that's human nature, and that's okay. You just need to be able to accept that yourself and not expect too much to quickly from a puppy.

Puppies are crap. They're horrible, nasty, wee and poo producing sharks for about a month or two (depending on breed/breeder possibly longer) and then they're stroppy little bastards for another few months. Personally, I think anyone who says they love having a puppy is either insane or not putting in 100% effort - after eight weeks, when my bitch has a litter, I'm practically throwing them out the door.

I'm not trying to put you off at all! But I do often find that people who come to me having lost their dog have forgotten how bloody horrible puppies are - they remember their amazing, perfect, beautiful adult dog and they've forgotten about the turd-eating, wee producing, evil-eyed, land-shark they lived with for a year.

Rescues take time as well - more than the 'three months' people claim, I think.

BUT, if you think you're ready to deal with that again - do go for it. You already know how much dogs bring to a life. But if you're not, then that's okay - it's better to wait to you are sure, then regret it (both for you and the puppy).

I'm sorry for your loss though - it's horrible to lose them.

2Pandora · 14/03/2025 07:40

You have a dog shaped hole in your life and a xxxx ( previous dogs name) shaped hole - filling the dog shaped hole doesn’t mean you loved xxxx any the less.
good luck

Wardrobegoblin · 14/03/2025 07:47

We cried when we picked our new puppy up because we still wanted the old dog back instead. And quite a few times during the bitey phase I felt like I’d made a mistake and just wanted old dog.
But new dog is wonderful, has definitely filled the dog shaped hole and we love him just as much.
its not a replacement. We still talk about old dog most days but if you are dog family then you need a dog.
Id definitely recommend getting a new one

dogmo · 14/03/2025 08:53

Thanks, everyone. I was expecting to be told that it was obvious I was unready because I was being undecisive, etc. I remember the puppy stage and the puppy blues well. My beloved elderly dog needed a lot of care in the last few weeks of his life so it brought all of the memories back, we even have a whole stack of puppy pads left over that we had to start using again. 😢I think I see the puppy stage as a necessary evil to getting a sweet companion back again.

I loved the breed of my dog my last dog was, but there were lots of things I didn't want in a future dog - mainly that he was stubborn and barked a lot (a terrier). But he was so loyal and lovely towards his family. He hated other dogs and it feels a bit of a betrayal to bring one into 'his' home. Getting the same breed would help with that as he only liked dogs of the same breed as him (!), but I know that's just grief talking.

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