Hi all. I’m not sure what I want from this but I need to write it down. My beloved pupper is being put to sleep tomorrow, I’ve booked a home visit so that he can be as relaxed and comfy as possible. He has osteosarcoma, a particularly aggressive bone cancer, and what was a 2-4 month prognosis has turned into just over 3 weeks. He’s gone down alarmingly fast. I know we’re doing the right thing, the kind and loving thing, but I’m utterly devastated. And feeling so, so guilty at making the decision to deliberately take his life.
I’ve had dogs most of my life, over 40 years now. I’ve been through this process before and it’s horrific, but this one…this one is my very special boy. We took him on from a kill shelter in Romania, he was a young adult and had a truly horrific life which left him scarred physically and mentally. We’ve been together almost 10 years and through all the challenges that his treatment at the hands of some really fucking awful humans wrought. He’s my soul dog and since the moment I clapped eyes on his picture at 2am one night, he was mine and I was his.
I know we’re doing the right thing. He’s uncomfortable and unhappy and I need to let him go while there’s some semblance of quality of life left. But my heart is absolutely breaking.