First family dog

[AnnoyedByAlfieBear]

I’m considering a puppy in spring/summer 2026 for a first family pet and I’m trying to research before then. There are so so many breeds! How do I work out what’s best for our circumstances??? DC are 12 and 10 and I’m out of the house for only 2 hours a day term time.

It totally depends really on your family circumstances. What type of family are you? Are you very active? Do you love the outdoors and likely to enjoy long walks or are you more of a sofa and tv kind of family. Lots of families choose dogs they like thd look of and then find they don’t fit in with them. Are you house proud? Will shedding upset you? Anyone have allergies etc? Will you be taking it to training classes? If not then don’t go large breed as there’s nothing worse than a huge out of control dog.

Have you considered a rescue to avoid tiny puppy stage. We currently have 4 dogs and our DC have always grown up with dogs. Will you be taking it on holiday? Our DC have had so many wonderful holidays swimming in the sea with our dogs.

@AnnoyedByAlfieBear following because we're also considering a first family dog in a 2-3 years once ds is older and our very elderly cat passes.

I know it's ages away but it's such a big decision I'm low key researching already.

Are you set on a pup? I think we'll go for a slightly older dog tbh, although obviously this depends on if we'd be allowed to rescue - our son will be 7/8ish by the time we're realistically looking to home one.

Any breeds you really love or think will suite your family? My son loves dogs but he gravitates towards older/calmer ones, he's a bit nervous of bouncy dogs although obviously he's still quite young which is a big part of why we're waiting a few years. He has some additional needs (awaiting an autism assessment) but he's animal mad and very gentle and serious about animals.

I'd love a retired greyhound - I know they're big but they're so gentle and just want a love. Enjoy a walk but happy to be cosy too. But definitely open to suggestions on other types.

We went to crufts last year (just me and DH) to have a look and might go again next year and just ask loads of questions!

Things I would be thinking about

What size of dog would fit well in the house/car etc

How much exercise would the dog get a day

How do you like to spend your free time

How much training will you be able to do

How much can you afford re things like insurance/feeding costs etc

How do you feel about grooming every day/sending dog to a dog groomers 8 weekly

Who will have the dog when you're away or on holiday? Could they manage with the type of dog your looking for

Being first time owners with children I would say a lab. Wonderful dogs but a lot will depend on how you answer the above questions

You need to think about what you don’t want and go from there.

No strong smells? Avoid a lab or a basset hound.

No fur? Golden Retriever and Bernese should be avoided

No drool? Avoid St. Bs and Goldens

Etc etc.

Then you need to think about logistics - you really can’t leave a puppy for two hours every day for the first few months (even one day a week is too much). Who takes the night shift when it cries? Who looks after it when you go on holiday? Who is walking it? Can you afford the costs - my two year old boy costs £70 a month to insure (no claims).

TBH if you do want a puppy, from a good breeder, you need to decide what you want fairly quickly and start reaching out. Good breeders only have 1-2 litters every few years. My list for my litter this year has been full since November 2022 and my friend is planning a litter of Springers for summer 2026 and her list has been full since Christmas…

And do consider a rescue - just please use a breed specific ones. Places like the RSPCA, MT, Battersea etc are awful - they match people with inappropriate dogs, lie about the dogs past or behavioural issues and offer no follow on support.

We have a dog OP, however he was already here before our kids.

The best breeds that come up a lot for kids are labs/golden retrievers, and King Charles. But, it will depend entirely on personal preference - I spend half my life hoovering up fur in this bloody house! And wiping muddy paw prints off the floor, when it’s raining I must do that 4 times a day!! So I’d have a real think about what the idea scenario with a dog looks like for you. What can you cope/deal with. How much energy does the breed have, how many walks, etc.

If going for a puppy, can you take a week or two off when they arrive to help them settle in? 2 hours alone for a puppy will be too long; mine chewed through the sofa on a 45 min break. Definitely, definitely do puppy training classes.

Think about cost - dogs are expensive. We pay the insurance each month and a monthly fee to the vets to cover the fleaing, worming and yearly boosters. Just those two costs comes to about £80. Dogs are also fabulous fools, and I’ve taken him to the vets for eating things he shouldn’t, thorns in paws, etc - all things to factor in. Dog bed, toys, Kongs, leads, a training crate for sure - and then the food and snacks. Also, in later life have a think about health issues associated with the breed - you’ll never know for sure but you’d want to hopefully avoid huge end of life vets bills for example. Add on to this, dog sitting / boarders if you go on holidays (they cannot be left overnight), dog walkers if needed, etc.

They are great, but they really are a whole new member of the family, worlds away from other pets - they’re very high maintenance! My kids are young and I find our dog really hard work at times. If I had my time again, I’d probably wait for similar ages to you - high school age basically. To make sure the whole family can chip in!

Sometimes you can think you have the perfect breed and it turns out not to be. I know someone with an aggressive lab, for example. Our 'family dog' was a mongrel that needed rehoming at 4 months (owners weren't allowed to keep a dog, they hadn't checked before they got him). He grew HUGE, and I was still finding clumps of his fur a couple of years after he passed on. But he turned out to be perfect - that dog was a saint with the kids.

So all I would say is do your best with research but be prepared to be surprised, and consider that sometimes all the research in the world falls by the wayside.

Thanks everyone. I work in a school so can’t really take time off, so I thought getting one at the start of summer when we have 6 weeks off would work.

The insurance costs are in line with what I am expecting.

I will definitely be doing puppy classes. My 10 year old DD is very up for that. 90% of our holidays are uk so they would be coming with us. I think small/medium would suit us best as my son can be nervous of bigger breeds.

I am however, quite lazy and I was hoping a dog would help with that!

The biggest mistake people make is they do puppy classes and then stop.

Adolescent is far more challenging and I always advise people to continue with training.... kc good citizens dog scheme is great and will take you through and beyond the more challenging 12-18 months age. Be prepared to sign up for a waiting list as soon as you know when you are getting your puppy. There are usually waiting lists

<hops back up onto soapbox>
Whatever you go for, be VERY aware of breed traits, and of the split that exists between show and working lines in a number of breeds (many gundog breeds, some protection/guarding breeds, some herding breeds, many terriers).

Breeding for show/pet rather than work does tend to tone down the breed traits, but not entirely (most terriers are still barky little bastards with a lot of attitude, for example; most labs will still retrieve with no/minimal training).

Dogs from lines bred to work are a different ballgame from the average pet. They need exercise, but more than that they need an outlet for deeply-ingrained genetic drives. If they don't get that, they sometimes either turn into anxious, unhappy, frustrated dogs (who bark at everything, or become snappish, or get shitty with other dogs without provocation, or dig up the sofa), or go and find their own entertainment (which you will not approve of).

Working-line labs usually make good active pets. Working cockers and springers are a toss-up (I know some that have made very happy active pets, but there are regularly OPs on this board tearing their hair out because 'my lovely working cocker boy' or whatever has gone for the four year old, or gets hysterical about car lights at night so is impossible to walk in the winter but if he doesn't get a walk he paces all evening and rips up cushions, or...

The majority of the dog in the HPR breeds (Vizslas, German pointers etc) are either bred from working parents or are not very far away from working ancestry. A lot of them are highly prey-driven (my two are) and are hard work to own: you have to train them and fulfil them to bring out the best in them. If you don't do those things, you might get lucky, or you might have a dog that digs up the new Lino and destroys the kitchen door (as someone told me about their mate's Weimaraner). It took us a while to work out the issue with our first HPR, by which time he had destroyed a sofa and developed some other bad habits (we already had a working-line terrier, we thought we knew about working dogs). Once we started to do things with him, he was 100% happier and 100% less hassle.

I'm not trying to put you off, OP. I just don't want you to get your puppy and fall in love with it and then end up back here 18 months down the line, asking if anyone knows how best to handle an overwrought cocker who is becoming increasingly difficult to live with.

Just go in with your eyes open. The right dog is a tremendous addition to a family, and there are lots of fantastic breeds (and mongrels) out there.

The six weeks of the summer holiday might^^ be enough if you're lucky and get a reasonably independent, chilled out pup. Be prepared to have a plan B dog sitter come in for another couple of months if the pup isn't ready though.

If your ds is nervous of dogs at present why not volunteer now at a local rescue centre?

It will build his confidence and help you all develop the skills and knowledge needed plus you may fall in love with one of the rescues along the way, or the rescue might accept you onto a waiting list for a litter of puppies.

I'd get a low energy dog as if you're not usually out walking in all weathers it's no fun even with a dog in the cold freezing winter. We have a small terrier cross who's happy with half an hour but can go further at the weekend and on light evenings.

You definitely need a plan beyond 6 weeks as the pup will need company so factor in that cost as well as insurance.

Basically consider your family circumstances and try to get the best fit you can but all dogs are different and the first couple of years can be tough. Be prepared for the long haul commitment and restrictions that will be a shock.

My main concerns with your plan are:

-You can rarely predict when a puppy will be born, so will getting one at the start of the summer holidays mean you end up buying from a puppy farm?

-Do you really want to spend your summer holiday tied to the house with a tiny puppy who is too young to be out all day and who also needs supervising constantly?

-You say you're lazy, are you really prepared to get up several times a night for weeks to let the puppy out for a wee? Get up early every day for weeks? Take your dog out for walks in the pouring rain in February or November?

We had a shortlist of what we didn't want, which was not too long haired, not a constant barker, not too smelly, not too drooly, not 'on it' all day (so no terriers), no cephalic breathers and then did the 'want' list, which was big, loyal, protective but not aggressive and then decided.

We ended up with a really big rhodesian ridgeback (scent hound), with zero recall and still a chaser even after constant training (as genetics kicks all training arses). He is high on the protective scale but also very high on the loving scale too, very friendly to other people once over the initial protection and sleeps for 3/4 of the day. He's an utter idiot but we love him madly, however, we couldn't have left him for any time during the first year, as he just hated it and we didn't want to allow separation anxiety to kick in. He was suddenly fine at a year old and we could leave him for 3 hours, as long as not over a meal time. The main thing that we did though was to get him used to daycare with other dogs from as soon as the vacc's had kicked in (about 12/13 weeks) as once you're past 14 weeks, they can be difficult to socialise. It's worked, as he's good with most other dogs except rude ones that he meets when on a lead with us...the protective gene kicks in again, so that can be fairly embarrassing!

We had ours from 9 weeks and the puppy stage is just a slog, a cute slog but a slog none the less as it's like having a newborn again for a while, with sleeping, pooping, weeing and keeping an eye on them ALL the time. I would have a rescue next time and enjoy avoiding the land shark stage where you live with mini puncture marks for you, your children and your belongings. Good luck and make sure you stay realistic about how hard it can be, especially at the beginning.

February is the make-or-break month! Short days that are almost invariably wet and muddy.

There's no chance to be lazy with a dog, OP! Particularly a young one - and I agree with a PP who says that the puppy stage is nothing to an adolescent dog, when they start fronting up to you and doing the 'you're not my real mum, you can't tell me what to do!' Even my saintly dog had his moments at eighteen months...

Oh and I'd forgotten the adolescence, which seems to last for years! Ours listened to training until 6 months and then turned into an utter brat until 2 yrs. He would jump up and have a wrestling match with the lead in the middle of the street (frustration) and that was just the tip of the iceberg. Would not miss that again.

Yep, young dogs and laziness really don't go together.

Mine is seven now and yes, now we can have lazy days and skip the odd walk, and he's mostly happy to lie under a blanket and sleep, but that didn't kick in until he was about 4, and before then he needed a lot of input and training and exercise.

I would say, have a look at how you want life to pan out over the next 12 years or so, not just how your daily life looks now.

If you currently work only two hours a day out of the house, are you hoping to change that, retrain, move house or similar?

Whatever you do don't fall for the ever so popular pooX .

I think for a small dog, have a look at companion breeds. There are plenty of different sizes, shapes and temperament available.
Papillon, Havanese, Chinese Crested Powderpuff , Tibetan Spaniel, ... to name a few less known breeds that are available. Just be wary of health issues within the breeds.
If you go for a rescue, go through breed rescue but the same caution applies in regards to health issues - sometimes dogs are given up for that very reason!

This is all amazing advice and exactly what I wanted to hear! Especially @EdithStourton and @biscuitsandbooks. I think and older rescue is the way to go but I wasn’t sure about rescue dogs around children as you don’t know their history. I also didn’t know that Battersea and the other big name shelters were not that great with rehoming. So that is a good thing to know.

I would go and visit your local shelters and get some experience. Offer to do some dog-walking or sign up with the Cinnamon Trust. Start going out for walks in awful weather or when you're shattered after work and see if it's really a lifestyle you can commit to long-term.

I actually run my own dog-walking business and the hardest days are when it's howling wind, the rain is hitting your face sideways and you still have to show up because the dogs still need to go out, no matter what. I personally wouldn't want to sign up to having to walk a dog multiple times a day, every single day. DH and I deliberately plan our weeks so we both get days off and time off from taking the dog out.

If your ds is nervous of dogs at present why not volunteer now at a local rescue centre?

This is bad advice. Nervous child & kennels with barking, jumping dogs isn't going to give the child any confidence.

I have a minature Australian Labradoodle, he'd tick all your boxes, including not caring if he get's some pretty limited walks some days. Some dogs bounce of the walls if not walked, we notice no change. Rarely go more than one day a week without. Doesn't shed much, easily trained, lovely personality, happy to be left for 4 or 5 hours, but that took 18 months to get to. A bit too friendly with every dog he sees, but adorable with it.

I recommend a miniature poodle. They are amazing dogs. You don’t have to give them a stupid haircut.

Avoid all the poodle crosses. You can have everything you want in a dog in an actual poodle.

Read about the breeds!

I wouldn't go any where near a rescue centre. They are full of dogs with problems.