Dog barks at night

[JollyJunee]

My mums dog is a dream during the day. 12yo small mongrel. My dad was ill 3 years ago and when he was coming to bed he often let the dog up to me at night if I was visiting. When my dad was end of life the doors were often open and the dog slept with me. Before all this the odd time the dog barked at night but very rare.
Once dad died, the dog was always downstairs again. But 3 years later he still goes nuts at night banging on the door and barking to get upstairs. It’s relentless. I’ve hardly had a wink of sleep! And neither has he. He does it occasionally when I’m not there but every night all blooming night when I am there.
After nearly 4 years of never being allowed upstairs how can I make him see he won’t get upstairs? He has a very comfy bed, it’s lovely and warm plus he can sleep on armchairs, which he does. Also two cats he likes sleep there too. He has a flap and can go outside if needed.
Any advice? Thanks.

Why can't he go upstairs, it's obviously what he wants

Why don't you let the dog back upstairs?

As they get older it's quite common for dogs to not want to be alone and in your case he was once allowed upstairs and now that his person is gone he isn't so he's probably very confused.

Seems like an easy solution to just let the poor dog upstairs so he has companionship he needs and you get to sleep.

My mother is fiercely opposed to this. She is elderly and does not want the dog upstairs. I stay one night a week every week, but sometimes I am staying a few days, like now.
if I let him up when I’m there fine, I can cope, but he would want up all the time, and she definitely is against this.

Is the house detached? If not then you also need to consider the neighbours.

It’s detached. They wouldn’t hear him barking inside.

Can you sleep downstairs? I'm sure the neighbours can hear it unless your mum's house is quite remote and it sounds like the poor thing is in so much distress.

Seems very unfair on the dog as he's obviously getting mixed messages and wants the company, sometimes we have to put the animal first. Why is she so apposed to it? I honestly can't see what harm it would do if he was upstairs at night?

Also worth noting that if his barking is that bad I wouldn't assume the neighbours can't hear it just because you're in a detached house.

I think your mother is just wrong about this. And that’s coming from someone who has never let their dog upstairs even once.

But this dog has been allowed to go upstairs over several years. No wonder they don’t understand why they are shut downstairs now. I would honestly be challenging your mother on her decision and advocating for the dog to be allowed in your room when you stay overnight. He’s 12, it’s not realistically going to be for many more years.

Why should the dog get what it wants? And I say that as a dog lover. If it was a 10-year old child screaming every night to sleep with you, people would say not sure what the answer is

The dog was only ever allowed up when I was there 1 night a week.
it’s been nearly 4 years since he has been allowed up.
Is it possible to break the habit, I guess that’s what I’m asking?
He would be in and out of the bed 50 times a night, not a great bed companion. But I have to say he is the sweetest and best boy in every other way.
I said to mum yesterday-I’ve always said I’ll take him if she couldn’t look after him any more-he will be in bed with me 100%!😂
But it’s her house, her dog, fair enough. Was just looking to see if anyone had advice on how to break the habit. But after nearly 4 years maybe it’s just the way it is.
thanks for replies.

Fair enough. Sorry if my post sounded abrupt BTW, was not intentional! Hope you manage to get things sorted as it all sounds stressful for both you and the hound.

Tbh this is just cruel.

The dog is so clearly distressed and if your mother can’t give it what it wants then she should re-home to you.

The neighbours not being able to hear is a bit of a red herring imo - a dog that barks all night is going to be pretty stressed and miserable.

If your mum is adamant that she won't allow him upstairs then she either needs to do some training so that the dog is content and quiet alone, or re-home him to someone who is able to meet his needs properly.

We would be happy to train but don’t know how!
I’ll look at a dog behaviourist.
Thanks

I don't think you need a behaviourist for this, it's not a complex issue to solve.

Someone just needs to sleep downstairs with the dog and then slowly move away as he gets comfortable with the idea of being alone.

He is fine being alone when I’m not there. He only does it occasionally then.
it’s when I’m there he goes bananas. Every time I’m there.

Can he not just come upstairs then? I mean, surely your mum has to realise that's better than a distressed and noisy dog?

Have just had a chat saying this, and she is adamant he isn’t coming up.
The culprit is currently sound asleep by the aga, happy as a lark. Wee wretch😂
We love him so much, and he honestly has the absolute life of Reilly!
Thank you for the advice.

Could she not let him upstairs but ensure he sleeps on his own bed upstairs?

Well, if she won't allow him upstairs then you need to sleep downstairs with him when you stay over if he's so distressed.