11 yo Lab’s behaviour after the loss of his brother

[Pinkbendyman]

We had 2 chocolate Labradors, male, 11 yo, best of friends, never a cross word between them.

Unfortunately, we had one of them put to sleep 6 weeks ago because of acute heart failure. His brother wasn’t present at the vets during the euthanasia but we did bring home the blanket and the collar for him to sleep with (although he didn’t seem interested in them)

Our remaining dog has been doing really well - eating well, enjoying our attention, loving his daily exercise, very settled. He’s very rarely home alone as DH works from home and I’m part time.

There’s just one thing that he’s started doing which seems to be becoming a habit so any practical advice would be very welcome please.

Every morning he will bark until one of gets up and comes downstairs (they’ve always only ever slept downstairs) His barking isn’t continuous, no howling or whining, just single intermittent barks every 30 seconds or so until he can hear us get out of bed.

One of us will then come downstairs and he acts like he’s not seen us for 3 weeks, so happy to be fussed, ready for his breakfast (in true Labrador style!)

It’s getting earlier and earlier though - 5.30am this morning so any help is much appreciated.

Just to add, DH doesn’t usually come up to bed until about 1am (almost every night) and always lets him out into the garden just beforehand. He’s also able to go for hours and hours without needing to urinate (that’s the dog, not the DH!)

Can you let him sleep with you? Or even have access. He may choose to be downstairs if he knows he can find you. I think it’s the only way to make him feel better. A huge change for him. Sounds like he needs a bit more support.

Yes, we thought about this and he’s been allowed upstairs if we’re pottering about. He doesn’t seem to settle though and charges back downstairs after a few minutes.
We could definitely try leaving the stairs door open though and then he knows where we are - thank you for this idea 😊

I’d just allow him to choose then. You may well get a few broken nights but he’ll settle eventually I’d bet.

Let him choose it will be him not having his pal when he wakes up.

@survivingunderarock thank you. We’re definitely going to start this tonight.

@Paradisegained I know, it must be so strange for him after 11 years, not having his best buddy there.

Were they littermates? It reads as though they were both 11?

I agree with PPs - let him choose where to sleep, he'll settle eventually but it takes a long time for some dogs to process grief. Remember, your loss is also his loss.

I'm sorry though, it's awful to lose a dog and awful to see the one(s) left behind also suffer.

We lost our springer in august. We also have a terrier. They had been together for ten years. The terrier is 11 and was pining. We hadn’t planned to get another dog for a while but found a rescue cocker - we only went to “have a look!” but the terrier is so much happier. They share a bed and are already very bonded.

Edited to add we can’t have the terrier in bed as he resource guards and is very possessive of DH, so that wasn’t an option.

Also to say really sorry you’ve lost DDog. It’s shattering. I was devastated when I had my old lady PTS.

@LandSharksAnonymous yes, 11 yo brothers from the same litter so they’ve never been separated before. Heartbreaking. Thank you and yes, we are being very patient with him and he’s getting lots of extra attention but space/peace and quiet when he needs it.

@BoudiccasBangles Thank you, it’s the hardest decision to let them go, even though it’s the kindest. I’m so glad your new dog is settling in well. Our first dog was also an ‘we’re only looking’ rescue dog too!