To look at a dog or not

[HermioneRuby1]

List our baby girl a few weeks ago and I miss her desperately and can't stand life without a dog.
I want to look at another and DH has now told me he doesn't want anymore and never wanted previous ones either just did it for me.
Whilst I did most of the looking after he helped and loved them both.
His words were to me "I don't want one but you do and so just go get one, go get your dog"
Having heard this I said I don't want to do this if you're not on board to win he said he wasn't last time so it's no different!
Not sure what the hell to do with this, he won't talk about it further and says he's made it clear and would be more angry if I don't go ahead now as I'd made it clear it's what I want when I tried to explain how much it helps me.
Am tempted to just not look at any and pretend I haven't found any which isn't the just because I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.
WWYD?

So sorry for all the typos

Honestly id just go and get a dog

Firstly, I'm so sorry for your loss

But three weeks isn't very long, maybe it would be worth waiting a while? You're both grieving in your own ways and you don't want to make any snap decisions either way.

Been there, done that. I do most of looking after, but he spends lots of time with doggo on his lap, calls her baby, sneaks her cheese etc. Get the dog. Picture because it's the law , isn't it?

We have two dogs. Or should I say that I do. I walk and feed and groom etc. Husband is fond of them and will cuddle them but they’re mine.
Get your dog.
And I’m so sorry for your loss.

Honestly it’s a huge decision- I’ll be honest, when our dog goes I’m out too though tbf I do all the looking after etc. I think if one person doesn’t want a dog it pretty much trumps all because so much has to be sacrificed for them. And I love my dog so so so much but the sacrifices on going places, seeing people, time wise, money, and general everyday everything is astronomical

Dh knows I come with pets. Even though he was allergic, we got 2 cats when we married. After a year he was able to stop taking antihistamines. We now have a dog. I’ll never not have pets and dh knows another could join our family at any given time.

I’m the other way. I absolutely ADORE our dog, I can’t bear the thought of her death one day.
But I dont want another, I don’t think any dog could ever be as wonderful as her. DH though, says he would want another.

My husband also makes these ridiculous noises before each dog. But there they’ll be, cuddled up close to him on the sofa.

Ignore and carry on!

My DH would say exactly the same.

I think it's ok to say, actually I would prefer life without dog, but if you want one go ahead and get one.
Just go and get another one if that's what you want.

Am tempted to just not look at any and pretend I haven't found any which isn't the just because I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.
WWYD?

You two are both adults. He won’t talk to you and you’re going to play games. Talk to each other. This is a living creature you want to have. If the pair pd you can’t even be mature enough to have a conversation with each other when you’re grieving then you shouldn’t have a dog tbh.

Either way, neither of you sound ready and a dog must be a joint decision - not a unilateral declaration of ‘I want.’ Previous posters on mumsnet have done this and have been back weeks, months, or in one case days, later to derail how they can’t cope, don’t love the new dog and wish they’d never gotten it.

I’m sorry for your loss but neither of you sounds ready to make this decision.

The playing games and refusing to communicate would annoy me. Is it a bit controlling?

" I dont want a dog so get one and I will be the victim dont get a dog and I will be cross" conversation would piss me off!

Without doubt I would get the dog and spend more and more time out on long dog walks to get some peace and calm

We have talked about it at great length and DH hasn't changed his stance he doesn't want another but understands my love for dogs and how much I get out of having a dog to look after, walk, love and be a companion and comfort to me.
I also fully understand the commitment and hard work involved it's not my first rodeo! A new dog doesn't replace one lost nor stop me grieving but I know from experience for me personally that if I wait it will be harder.
I'm not playing games rather trying to make sure that everyone in our home is being considered.
The last 2 times DH has confessed he felt the same way but didn't make it known to me as he is now so I guess he is being honest and giving me the freedom to do as I need to but I want to ensure he experiences the same as before and loves them also.
I am taking my DD with me to look at a lottery tomorrow evening and I hope as before I will know immediately if I don't I will leave it at that. I believe that if it's meant to be it will be. Thanks for listening.

*litter not lottery
@KeenOtter I feel mostly like that a little tbh

I get it OP.
Go get another dog.
Dogs bring so much love into your life, it’s hard to live without it once you’ve had it.

I went without a dog for over a year then arranged to see a litter. 30 minutes before we were due to go, the breeder rang me to say she'd sold all the puppies. ( probably lucky escape ) but I felt so devastated that I knew I really wanted a dog. I found a much nicer puppy from a fantastic breeder shortly afterwards. You will know. You'll fall in love if it's right.

@Seagullproofoldbag thank you for that I definitely feel like that will be the case and if it's meant to be it will be.

He's giving you the green light to get a dog if you want one, so get one if you want one. TBH, as someone who doesn't want another dog, I think he's being really decent saying he knows you do and that's okay. With a lot of couples I think it's one or the other who really wants the dog/cat/whatever and the other wouldn't have got one if it had been their choice alone. Don't overthink it.