Adopted reactive dog and desperate

[Dogwarwick]

We've rescued a 5 year old dog who was entirely biddable and subdued in kennels. They told us he was reactive but it was so impossible to believe because he was gentle and quiet.

10 days down the line and, whilst he's so beautifully behaved and a joy in the house, he is incredibly reactive to everything out and about - dogs, people, cyclists. Any sudden moves and he's snarling and lunging.

We have had another rescue dog before but never experienced this. We've read and watched everything we can on the subject and are living it on every walk. It's exhausting and, if anything he's getting worse. Also, it's clear that separation anxiety is going to be another problem. We are retired so this would be rare - but we find ourselves with a dog we can't leave even for a moment and can not trust on walks.

Does anyone have any stories about how they turned this around please? Was it possible? Did it take time? Have we made a terrible mistake.

I'm bloody desperate and feel awful for us and the poor dog.

@NeverDropYourMooncup We don't have children here and no visiting children. He's in a secure house and garden and when out is kept on a short lead and harness.

Why should a dog be killed because an idiot took a dog from a kennels labelled reactive, and decided they were lying for no apparent reason? It’s a little terrier and there’s loads of methods they could use to help the dog. They’ve only had it a few days

Hi I agree with all the comments work with a really good trainer check reviews some are not so good. You need to stay calm as hard as it is he will feel your anxiety down the lead so it will get worse because he's sensing the anxiety too when you go out and know he will react. It's a vicious cycle. I definitely agree with another poster garden and home play for a bit. Maybe do some training in the garden with him. This will be hard but with the right training can be adjusted.

We had to do this. Tried to do the right thing and got a rescue not a puppy. Absolute nightmare we tried everything but in the end we had to pts

I don't think it's very fair to call me an idiot @Suimai . We were told very positive things about the dog and that he was only reactive because of his current home circumstances.

There's reactive (our previous dog was slightly reactive) and there's reactive that makes day to day life difficult and potentially dangerous for us, others and the dog. The level of reactivity was underplayed by the rescue which is causing us heartache. No need to add to that.

We are doing our best to make things work and are far from inexperienced dog owners or idiots.

Also @suimai it was not me who mentioned putting the dog to sleep. I'm trying everything and will return to the rescue if I am utterly desperate.

Aww, he's lucky he found you. I have no advice. I have a reactive lurcher. It's a nightmare. You have my sympathy.

There’s loads of help and support out there OP. Don’t despair. It’s hard work, but very rewarding. I adopted a dog that was unsocialised and scared of everything. First few months nearly broke me. We’ve come on leaps and bounds. I got a trainer (positive reinforcement) and knuckled down to training.

Look for this group on Facebook, lots of really good, sensible advice and help. Feel free to DM if you need to vent. I’d also stay away from MN for dog advice on the whole!

I don't have any experience of rescue dogs or reactive dogs. I love dogs and people. I'll share my thoughts for what it's worth. I think it's important that anyone taking on a reactive dog knows exactly what they're taking on. A dog is such a huge commitment and a huge part of our daily lives. Life is too short to be stressed and miserable when you don't have to be. It sounds like you didn't know what you were taking on and 10 days in I don't want you to feel committed to this dog for life. Did you get him from a rescue organisation or an individual? Either way they should have made sure you understood the extent of his problems. That may not help now but it may help ease your turmoil. Would you have adopted him if you'd understood how reactive he is and how it would affect your life? If the answer is no, do you want to keep him? If no to both, would the rescue organisation (if it was one) take him back or even allow him to stay with you while they find another home for him?
I can only imagine the mix of emotions you're feeling. I appreciate that you'll be feeling responsible for him, want to help him, probably feel some guilt. I'd say try to give yourself permission to prioritise your own lives and happiness to. You say walking is your lives. You've lived with restrictions for 18 months and wanted some freedom. Think about what you want. If it is this dog, then seek and follow all the advice you can. I'm sure he will bring you measurable rewards. If it isn't, you're not alone. Some people would willingly take on a dog with such extensive problems. Some may have a lifestyle well suited to accommodate him and his needs without sacrificing their own. As caring as I am, and as much as I want your dog to be loved and happy, I couldn't take on what you have. If I inadvertently did, I wouldn't be able to keep a dog who lunges and snarls at neighbours, children, family, friends, vets, other dogs etc. I would ensure he found a loving home who knew what they were taking on through a reputable organisation who would also help assess his needs and provide behavioural support like Dogs Trust. I would do it sooner not later because it would only get harder.There would be no shame in that.
I just hope you know you have choices. It's not for me or anyone else to say what's right for you. That's 100% up to you. Whatever you want, whatever you decide, I wish you and your new dog every happiness. Very best wishes.

The separation anxiety may well be temporary - or at least temporarily worse than normal, it’s very very normal for a rehomed dog to behave like that, they’ve just gone through a huge upheaval.

Re walking - give him some time and then plan out some nice quiet routes to walk him on.

Get in touch with the rescue about a behaviourist

Then give yourself a nice realistic timeframe for changes in him, you’re overwhelmed just now and so is he

As kindly as I can muster, as I've seen it too often - so what happens if it takes a chunk out of your face when you're bending down to put your shoes on, put the food down or attach the lead and harness?

Any responsible rescue would offer you full backup and should have a behaviourist they can call on to offer you advice. Were they honest about the extent of the issues? ( it’s possible they weren’t aware if he was ok in kennels). Basically if they want to avoid a failed adoption they need to bend over backwards to help you at this point.

Honestly? I would return the dog - and I say this as someone who ‘specialises’ in the foster dogs no one else will take (bite history, severe SA, reactivity etc) - if you are not prepared to spend the next however many years he lives, being on guard whenever you are out and about.

Owning a dog with these types of issues, that are as serious as they are with yours, is not an easy commitment. It’s a life-changing and lingering-long one. You cannot fix these issues. You can manage them. But there will always be instances where the dog gets scared and reacts or something sets him off - sometimes entirely unpredictably. You will - if you are doing it properly - always be on edge and watching for things that might set him off.

And there is absolutely nothing wrong with admitting it’s not for you, and being clear to the rescue why.

Honestly, whenever I say goodbye to a foster dog with severe issues I am so glad they are gone. I’m pleased I’ve helped…but could I live with it 24/7? No.

If you do decide to persevere, I would find your own behaviourist (given they’ve lied to you, I wouldn’t trust anyone they recommend with a cockroach, let alone a dog) and commit to working on these behaviours. But realistically, it’ll be management rather than cure. I’m sorry.

My personal opinion is that you won't ever fix a reactive dog. All you can do is manage it, avoiding triggers. I say this based on having a reactive rescue before. I put loads of effort in, worked with two different behaviourists, read books, did training walks with stooge dogs in place, all sorts. It's not what I expected dog ownership to be like and I wouldn't do it again. I would seriously think about giving the dog back. Sorry.

If you can afford it the mutty professor is in your area. Worth speaking to them.

I adopted a dog 18 months ago as a first time dog owner. The rescue said he was "bombproof" but he became reactive the more he "settled in" so I assume he was before he went into kennels. He didn't always lunge and bark etc, but he did it quite a lot and after the first year I got a trainer.

It took about four sessions of teaching loose lead walking and he just changed - not completely, but 95% of the time now he doesn't react to anything when we're out. Never joggers anymore, or cyclists. Mainly certain local nemesis dogs he really doesn't like (big ones; he's tiny) so I avoid them wherever possible. He will even pass a reactive dog now and just give them a wide berth, like he's over the drama!

The logic of loose lead training is that it slows them down and makes them more engaged with the world around them (immediately around them - the smells and pavement etc, and of course the sniffing calms them) and less scanning the horizon in a state of hyper vigilance. Then over time the previous "threats" pass by and they learn they weren't threats and anyway they're busy sniffing everything now, which is more interesting. With the lead not being tight, they also feel able to do fight or flight, and that relaxes them even more. He's in his own sniffy world now and just doesn't care about most of the things that used to make him kick off. Sorry you might know all this being an experienced dog owner but understanding it really helped me cope with it.

While doing the training we stuck to the same route every day, walking very slowly as he was racing around before, trying to beat the world to the punch, then had off lead time in a grassy area where he was getting to know local dogs and build his social skills (it was only yesterday he did this jumpy play thing to another dog for the first time! He didn't know how to play with other dogs for so long, and that was the first real sign he was getting it - the trainer said he had to learn this from other dogs). So it all had this sense of routine for him, and I would constantly scan and read his behaviour and decide when to avoid certain situations. It was exhausting! But it clicked after a couple of weeks of solid training, with some backsliding if our routine changed.

So hang in there. I'm not sure it can be cured but even in the last few days I feel like our bond is still growing and he's still learning to trust me and the world. He has another issue I've posted about on here, which is also improving after a bit of a rock bottom a few weeks ago. I don't believe the three months thing! I'm in Scotland or would recommend the trainer I used.

I’ve been in your shoes OP, and it’s not easy at all. In our case he’s an extremely traumatised ex-street dog from Romania and by the time we realised exactly what we’d taken on, it was too late and I loved him completely and couldn’t give him back. Still do over 9 years later. He’s an old fluff now but it’s been a very steep learning curve. I’d echo the other people saying he doesn’t need walked every day. One thing that helped enormously was reading about the Spoon Theory, developed for people with physical/mental disabilities, but equally applicable to reactive dogs. Hope it helps.

Right slow things right down. 10 days in ish very very early days.

Let him settle give him a couple of months to settle down before walking him

In the meantime book secure fields I believe there are some around Bristol. Let him get to know you and just breathe a bit.

Why can't you leave him? Will he settle in the car?
You need to be able to have a space where he is safe and able to cope on his own for a bit.
Yes it can be really restrictive have a reactive dog. I'm 4 years in and it's bloody hard some days. I woke this morning with a migraine and mine barked constantly all morning. Fortunately I have a few good friends who get it and who I can sound off to on bad days. But 4 years. In she is a totally different dog.

Join www.thedoggeeks.co.uk run by a friend of mine who is a force free behaviourist and two of her colleagues. All 3 have reactive or tricky dogs and get how hard it can be.

Also join Reactive dogs Uk. So much support is available.

I think you really need to adjust your expectations - you've only had him 10 days - he will still be terrified, overwhelmed and incredibly confused by what's going on. You can't blame him for not wanting to be left in a strange new environment just yet.

It takes three months for rescues to settle into their new homes - you really need to just let him adjust with no pressure to walk him or leave him alone just now.

However saying all that, if you don't feel like you can cope (and there's no shame in that whatsoever) then speak to the rescue sooner rather than later and return him.

Thank you all so much for your constructive, honest and compassionate posts. I really do appreciate it.

Special thanks to @WalkBack @Killingoffmyflowersonebyone and @Monvelo . What lovely, kind people you are.

My little tiny Pomchi is dog reactive (fortunately fine with people etc, it's just other dogs). We did the Dogs Trust reactive dog training and it was really helpful to give us lots of tips on how to manage her when we're out and about. We still have barking episodes, but she's come on leaps and bounds and even managed a walk with my dad's dog, albeit at a distance thankyouverymuch.

There's more about the reactive dog classes here: https://www.dogstrust.org.uk/dog-advice/dog-school/reactive-dog-classes

Also, is your dog muzzle trained? If not, that's certainly something to look into as it will give you peace of mind your dog couldn't injure another dog or a person if they get too close when you're out and about.

@Dogwarwick Please let the Dogs Trust know of your problems - they are amazing at post adoption support and will sometimes send a trainer out to you to help if necessary. I adopted my LabX from them this time last year and whilst I haven't had any issues at all (dream dog!) they stressed in every post adoption check up call that the support is there if you need it.

Terrier slave here. This is really treatable but you need help. My own started this at 6 months and with a few tweaks she’s now mostly fine. I’m a trainer so knew what I was doing. Make sure you go to someone who uses reward based training with gradual desensitisation.

It’s actually easy to treat if you do it right.