Training my impatient retriever

[Jollyjoy]

My GR is a 2yr old intact male - plan to have him neutered soon so this may help a little.

He has become increasingly impatient if having to wait, or seems to have a low threshold for tolerating frustration. Eg this morning my kids wanted to stop at the swing park on our walk, and he after moments starts to moan, then bark, and jump up at me. He sometimes responds to a sharp instruction of ‘quiet’ and I believe he knows what this means, having done some training at home when he barks if we leave him closed in a room. He behaves more like this with me than DH so I wonder if I need to be firmer or what I’m doing that reinforces it. Turning my back on him does nothing.

He’s always been barky and at puppy class they advised that he was sometimes getting rewarded for barks because he barks to get let in from the garden. They suggested we always supervise but that’s not cool for us - he plays in the garden for ages!

Anyway I’m not sure it’s just that - to me he’s just pushing boundaries and I do think his barks do get a reaction as sometimes I end up moving because it’s intolerable and I can’t have a conversation etc.

Help please?!

How much exercise and mental stimulation does he get? Sounds more like bordem and impatience than anything serious…

Mine used to do that, but now he’s older (also 2), he’s much better as he gets the mental and physical stimulation he couldn’t get when he was 6-18 months.

Obvious question but have you taught him to sit while on the lead at random times?

It seems strange that he's started doing this at 2 because this is what we've always taught our almost Two year old to do since we got him.

We make him sit and wait if other people walk past, or crossing the road.
If I stop to chat to someone he knows to sit and wait.

Or is this a completely new behaviour? Would he wait patiently previously?

The behaviour you're describing is something I've been through with my dog but he was much younger.

Thanks all. Yes he used to be much calmer about this stuff, like I could take him to a cafe or sit with him in the park. He will sit to command on the lead no problem, but it’s when he has to wait a while. It’s definitely worse at the start of a walk when he’s raring to go but will still happen after he’s had lots of exercise. He gets 2x 45min walks a day. Used to do a lot more focused training than we do now, he enjoys a lot of that. He’s rarely home alone, usually someone about.

Im not sure exactly when this started but probably in last 6 months. He has always been barky and we’ve never managed to fully deal with that - has always had trouble being left alone in a room and will bark for example. Has improved with training but still annoying…

I have always had Goldies, they are very smart and stubborn and can train you rather than the other way around if you let them. Ours is on a diet and doesn't get fed before 4 but he learned that if he asked to go out around 3.30 i would get the food from the garage while I was up and feed him then.
We reward him for being quiet and chilling out adn he does pretty well most of the time.
Can i ask why you are shutting him in a room? We never do that and have all doors open, he wanders around at will and often chooses to settle on his bed in the Hall rather than in the lounge with us, where he does have another bed.

My cocker is like this. He's 4 and still super impatient. We have to do continual sit and wait training with him but I think it is just in his nature to be impatient. He also does it a lot more with me than dp annoyingly!

Terrier owner here. They have no frustration tolerance. They have to be taught.

We did lots of ‘it’s your choice’ game. I also rewarded for waiting in a variety of situations. Not formal just standing doing nothing. I built the time she had to wait very slowly. Now she will automatically wait for her meals on her bed or on a raised bed at training. Head down relaxed. Not simmering.

We stopped to talk to someone on our walk today and I slipped her the odd treat for just standing there neutral.

It can be done but takes time.

Neutering won’t help. Maturity and training will.

Yes defo stubborn and smart! We’ve been having lots of work done at home lately and tradesman in working in various rooms. So he has to stay away to avoid getting in their way etc. Also my kids sometimes have a friend who is nervous so I put him away. I think it’s a basic thing he should be able to just wait a while on his own when ansked and have done longer and longer periods where he gets a reward on return, with success. But if someone can be with him, we are.

Sexist dogs! My DH is all like ‘it’s cause I’m his master’ BS but I’ve noticed if I use a louder lower voice he tends to listen more. It’s just a bit embarrassing mid conversation.

The thing is, he’s really good at ‘leave it’, as in if I put a treat in front of him, even on his nose or on his head, he’ll wait for several minutes until I tell him he can have it. And every time I let him off the lead we practice a stay and he can handle me walking quite far away then come to heel. So I think in those respects his tolerance is quite good. But at these times he’s like an annoying child nagging at me. Probably like kids, he knows what gets to me and pushes at that?

Yes I agree it’s wishful thinking to imagine neutering will stop this without training. But at these times he feels so fecking male and pushy, I hoped a bit less testosterone in the mix might reduce his intensity?!!

How do I train it though? I do reward him when he’s quiet and patient. In puppy class he used to struggle to wait while instruction was being given to us, would bark over the instructor who would tell him to shut up on occasion… they had me getting him doing various tricks while he waited, which worked a treat. Is this what I have to do to get a chat on the street with my neighbour?!

Our boy WAS much nicer to be around once neutered but I agree its not the same for all dogs and you should research it and speak to your vet

It’s your choice is choice based. So dog chooses not to take treat knowing they’ll get it. That means it can translate to waiting because better things are coming. Much more effective than telling him to leave. They’re different things really.

I found the ignoring method worked best combined with lots of exercise and stimulation. Mine never associated food whilst being silent with being good. He’ll likely woof for a while until he realises he’ll get no attention, but ultimately it worked for me. At least out and about. If he gets like that now I walk him away four or five paces then walk him back and he settles

TBH they are very prone to SA anxiety so I would avoid sticking him a separate room when he’s making it clear he’s unhappy - you could well be exacerbating his behaviour.

Your training instructor sounds awful. A good trainer should have known how to handle an over stimulated and excited puppy and it sounds like they did very little to help. Shouting at a dog to shut up is just so unnecessary.

Puppies struggle to wait. Ignoring them tends to make them more frustrated and wound up. It’s not a quick thing but can be done.

For mine I asked her to lay down then treat. Treat treat treat. Then break. I’d do a combination of this and getting her to do fun tricks as well between goes. As time went on she started offering laying down. So I rewarded that. When she offered I’d then start to extend the time she waited. The working other things I phased out when she was offering the calm behaviour.

Most people fall down on not enough or frequent reward. It literally has to be rapid fire to begin with. When you start talking to your neighbour and your dog is calm treat treat treat and then walk away. Sessions need to be kept short.

I have the worst breed for frustration yet we’ve done it. I’ve also helped others in the classes I teach achieve it too. Waiting her turn in a Rally Obedience work shop. Have a look at place work. The same method will be used for chatting with your neighbour just with the dog standing still or sniffing not on a mat or bed.

I would say that 2 is still quite young for a large breed and it's not entirely surprising that he's still quite immature in a lot of ways.

I would look at upping his exercise and his training, but I would also be realistic about your expectations - so while the kids are playing, don't just expect him to sit and do nothing for ages - engage him in some training or something while you wait, especially if it's at the start of the walk and he's still full of beans.

I'd also look at the quality of the walks he gets - does he do any retrieval work for example? Does he get enough time off the lead?