What do you wish you’d known before/in the first year after rescuing a puppy?

[chocciemonster39]

If you’ve rescued a puppy, what do you wish you’d known beforehand and what tips would you give to someone in the first year after the adoption whose dog is struggling?

For context, DP and I adopted a puppy 3 months ago from a reputable rehoming charity. Now she’s nearly 6 months. Despite our best efforts to do our research in advance and think what type of dog we could best care for, things haven’t turned out as expected! I think it’s a been a case (being new to puppies) you don’t know what you don’t know.

We only got to meet our puppy on the day we collected her (as I think is usual) and some of her behaviours have only developed in the last few weeks, not helped by a painful infection she had (now hopefully resolved) and teething. She has a lot of anxiety behaviours (including excessive barking, scared of walking, getting scared of food/extreme fussiness with food, scared of other dogs) and is also a very stubborn character!

We’re doing our best to address these issues e.g. with a behaviourist, puppy training, making sure we do fun activities with her, and time. It’s really hard though!

Sort of wish we’d known/ perhaps centre could have warned us to potentially expect some of these issues due to the way she was raised before we got her-it seems the owner was breeding the mum for puppies and they were brought in in a very poor condition. (Although I appreciate shelters don’t want to scare people off!) Also, she doesn’t really have the “typical” breed characteristics. Of course, all dogs are unique but I’ve since learned where a dog has a mix then their character is even more of a guess 😂

Any reflections on what you wish you’d known would be really interesting and any advice on handling the first year would be greatly appreciated as my DP, Dpup, and I navigate this.

Didn’t want to read and run, but sound like you’re doing all the right things. My rescue came from a hoarding situation then the dog shelter. She was terrified of everything when I adopted her at around 6 months, but she’s a different dog now (fundamentally timid but willing to give things a try), so maybe patience and perseverance are your best aids.
On food, I would take away anything that wasn’t eaten in 10 minutes and not feed again until next mealtime. Hunger often improves appetite (perhaps don’t do this if you’re already struggling to keep her weight up though).
On walks, just go for very short ones in quiet places until she gets used to them (mine had never been on a walk in her life and was terrified of the outdoors - she demands her walks now!).
On engagement, I found the Absolute Dogs “sexier than a squirrel” course hugely positive in terms of creating a bond and trust, although many on MN advise against their courses because one of the directors was actually a puppy farmer 😱.
Good luck!

P.S. Also to say, the much quoted “3 days/3 weeks/3months” rule for adopted dogs is way out for my dog: it’s been more like “3 weeks/6months/ongoing but much better” with her. So don’t despair.

Thanks so much Rubia3 really appreciate your advice and encouragement 😊

Oh I feel your pain @chocciemonster39! Long-term fosterer here (20 dogs so far...). It's hard. It's SO hard. That being said, you got her at 12 weeks so that's very very young and she still is young, so there is lots of time to make improvements.

What I would say is that in no way is it normal to only meet the puppy the day you adopt them - and that charity should be completely ashamed. They have failed both you and the puppy and are incredibly lucky you are an owner that cares. My most recent foster dog, the family met her three times before we agreed they were the right fit.

Some (hopefully helpful) advice below:

It can take at least three months, in most case six months, in my experience for a dog to truly settle or to even trust their new family - much longer if it's been traumatised in some way. The longest it has ever taken is 9 months for me to know they trusted me and for me to trust them.

With food, you just need to find what works best for her. For one of mine I had to hand feed her for three months when I first bought her home - butternut box which was horrible and slimy - because she was so scared of her food bowl she couldn't even walk past it. If your dog will take food from your hand, start that way and gradually begin to introduce new food. It's a really good way to try and build the bond. I personally wouldn't withhold food because you don't know the conditions she was held in before and she could, potentially, have struggled to get enough food.

Walks outside when it's quiet - we're talking 6/7am on weekends. Not 10am. Get her used to being out and about when it's quiet. Build it up from there. Remember, 5 minutes exercise for every months of life - so make sure you don't overdo it.

Have interactions with other dogs in secure and safe settings (and only when she is ready)- not necessarily out on walks when she's stimulated. Ask your local vets if you can take her in (assuming she's not a screamer) and just sit in the waiting room with her so she can watch other dogs. Or take her to coffee shops and sit outside (do it outside busy ours).

On barking, distract and reward - but a behaviourist would be best place to advise on this as, in some cases, it can make it worse and make the dog think it is being rewarded for displaying these behaviours.

My top tip: take each day as it comes and really focus on the positives. It's really easy, particularly with difficult rescues to think about all the things that are going wrong or all the things they've failed in some way or you've failed. Don't. Focus on the good. Even if it's really small.

Thank you @Killingoffmyflowersonebyone for your advice and kind words. Interesting to hear one of your dogs was also scared of food and you also had to hand-feed. That’s reassuring and I’ll continue with that. Yes, the behaviourist thinks she probably had to struggle to get enough food 😞

I didn't rescue a puppy so I recognise I don't know things from your perspective - but I would say that puppies aren't stubborn in the way that we would see humans as being stubborn. Sometimes it's too easy to assign human behaviour because it seems to fit - like thinking a dog looks guilty, and therefore must have known it did something wrong, when actually it's afraid of the human's response.

The best advice I ever got (I'm new to all of this) was to empathise with my puppy. We kidnap them from planet dog, where the rules are completely different, and take them to a place that's utterly strange and where they can never learn to speak the language. What they need from us is empathy, kindness, touch (on their terms), meeting their needs, never letting them cry it out or leaving them alone (including overnight) before they're ready. There's a great Facebook group called DTAS - Dog Training Advice and Support - that has a whole section of guides on puppies and another on rescue dogs. As a first time dog owner it's kept me sane.

I do wish you the very best of luck.

Thanks so much @Bupster and good point about planet dog! I will check out the FB group.