Don’t like my dog since having a baby

[Terribleowner]

Please don’t come for me, I don’t want to feel this way, and ddog is still treated very well, gets all his walks, enrichment games, fancy chews, expensive food and anything he needs, but my hearts just not in it anymore.
It doesn’t help that he’s not a very well behaved dog (rescue, we’ve seen lots of behaviourists, trainers and vets and spent a long time training) and having to put up with poor behaviour (that has escalated) is just a drain on my currently already limited resources.
It just feels so strange, he smells awful to me now and feels alien to cuddle, but I couldn’t have loved him more before having a baby.
I thought it would pass but it’s been a few months
just wondering if anyone else has felt this way and how you got over it. I want him to feel like part of the family again.

I wonder if it's hormonal op. I was repulsed by other people's babies and small children when I was breastfeeding my own. If they were snotty I would actually gag and I normally have quite a strong stomach.

I was very irritated by my cat, who was the love of my life previously, the poor thing. It could be something hormonal but isn’t helped by being tired and all your attention and focus needed by the baby. It did wear off in my case but it took a while.

It takes time - just hang on in there

You're doing the right things. And it's likely that he will still feel part of the family (for better or for worse, you (plural) are his pack, and he'll still feel firmly a belonger. The shift is in you, but it's in ways that probably don't matter to the dog.

It sounds like you're still caring for him well, and being concerned about him puts you way ahead of many owners. Carry on - you're doing it right and it will come together again and some point.

But if you need breaks, can you afford a professional walker or even the odd day of doggy daycare? Or see if you can find a dog walker via Borrow My Doggy or just asking round neighbours (reliable teen could do this at knock down rates, wannabe dog owner whose circumstances do not currently permit might help out for free).

Ahhh it will be the hormones OP. I didn’t like my husband but I stuck with him and glad I did!
On a serious note sounds like you are still treating the dog well, is there anyone else in the house? Can they take over the bulk of dog stuff for a while? FWIW mine drives me insane but the kids love her so stuck with her 🤪

It is understandable. I don’t have a solution. It may pass, it may not especially if you are to go on and have more children. Hopefully his behavioral issues won’t affect your child. Please don’t feel bad about yourself for this.

It will pass. Pretty much everyone I've spoken to about this has said "omg I felt the same way but didn't know if it was normal!".

Definitely this. I ADORE my cat. My first baby! When I had kids I just had no time for him and it was devastating that I felt this annoyance because he just wanted the attention that he was used to getting) now they are older I have time to love him again! X

My dog irritated me but I never hated him or never tempted to re homing him, it took a few months to get into a routine, he now is my ally if I want to get away from my kids on lovely long walks

Give him lots of attention as just like kids they can play up if feeling pushed out. I used to take mine on the school run, now my kids are older they adore him as much as I do.

I was like this. Took maybe a year to get over. I think it's hormonal. I cannot tell you devoted I was to mine and then how much I disliked him when I had my baby. He has never returned to his previous status but the (irrational and unfair) feelings on my part softened.

I feel you completely. I am 32 years old and I’ve had my dog since I was 18 and have loved him all of his life but ever since our second son came in to our lives at the beginning of last year I just can’t be around him for some reason, I hate admitting that, I truly do.

When I had my first 6 years a go almost I never had this feeling, he still slept on our bed, I loved playing with him and taking photos of my son and him together as he grew up but since my second came in to our lives and things probably became more hectic and chaotic my feelings towards him changed.

I’ve now had our third 5 weeks a go and feel even worse about him. I hate the barking, the whining, the crying and the hair, oh my god I can’t stand the hair. I hoover 2/3 times a day in certain rooms because I just can’t stand the hair getting everywhere and on everybody’s clothes, the kids toys etc.

Please don’t get me wrong, I know I don’t have much longer left with him so I try and remember that in my sensible moments and he is still very well looked after, fed well on a decent food, goes on a walk a couple times a week (used to be more but he’s now old and struggles) and has so many treats/leftovers.

I am trying so hard to push these feelings a side, I really really am. I’m sorry I don’t have any real advice but just wanted you to know from what I’ve read this is so common and not spoken about enough so you’re definitely not alone.

This was me and my cat. I was a bit obsessive about her before my son was born and then after DS was born she returned to being ... just a cat. They are animals, not humans after all.

This is totally normal, you wait once you have older kids and get a Ddog it’s the kids that take a back seat.

Wow thank you everyone, I’ve just been feeling terrible every day, and I expected to be slated.

Part of the problem is that he is a dog who has always acted out for attention and this has really escalated, the only way to deal with that is to tell him to go to his bed, so he’s spending more time isolated from everyone. That’s making him what attention more and it’s a bit of a viscous cycle. When I do give him (extra) attention it never seems like enough, no matter how many walks, treats, toys etc he’s had that day he’s still attention seeking.

He absolutely was my baby before, and he’s been through so much in my life with me that I feel awful like I’m turning my back on him now. I really thought I’d love seeing him with my baby, going on walks together, cuddling together and him just being part of the family still but it really is like a switch was flipped. I’m trying to tell myself that he’s just living a normal life as a dog now, and he’ll adjust and be ok with that one day, but I do feel awful.