How do you make the decision to PTS?

[Whitevase]

For reference my lovely gold retriever is 11 years old, we've only had her 3 years as she's a rescue.
She's got bad arthritis and clearly struggling with her back legs especially. She's on meds for this plus painkillers but can't see it's making any improvement anymore.
She's also lost muscle in her bottom so can't hold poop in and most days she's poking in the house.

DM thinks it's time to say goodbye but while she still has a little happiness left in her it doesn't feel right to me. I'm struggling to make the decision. Any advice please?

Is she upset and stressed about pooping inside? (many old dogs are) Is she enjoying her life? If she passed peacefully tonight would it be a relief?

It’s hard to know when to let go, but it’s sometimes the kindest choice.

Imo a ddog that poos where it shouldn't isn't a happy ddog.. We had an old ddog - 20!! Still functional until the day her legs 'went' and dm called the vet out.. She was pts at home. Dm didn't have a car and she was well known at the vet having had surgery for mammary tumours and surviving pyrametra. Quite an invincible ddog! Chose a date op . Then spoil ddog up until then.

My dog is 14 with multiple medical issues , even at his worse a couple of years ago when his BP was out of control and he couldn’t walk because his feet were knuckling over he was continent and waited to be carried to the garden and supported whilst he did his business , for me , at the moment , incontinence will be one of my ticks in the ‘it’s time’ box . Don’t wait for her to have no happiness , it will be too late .

I rescue older dogs and in the last 10 years have had to make the decision to PTS 5 times. The first 2 dogs I left it too late and they got to a point where they were so bad that they couldn't get off their beds. Having had that experience thinking I was giving them just one more day, now I would rather be a week early in letting them go than a day late. It is the last service of love that you can give a pet. It is heartbreaking but let them leave while they still have some joy.

It's the toughest decision you ever have to make as a dog owner, but that 'better a week too soon than a day too late' truism is... true. We kept our arthritic terrier going a good month longer than we should have done, because we didn't want to 'give up on him', but with the benefit of hindsight, those four weeks weren't enjoyable for any of us, least of all poor old DDog.

Dogs don't let you know they're in trouble until they're really in trouble. If you can see she's struggling to do normal dog things like get up, or poo outside, then choose a day, spoil her rotten, and let her go peacefully.

For me if they can’t enjoy their walks and they are soiling their house, it’s time - particularly for a breed that loves its exercise and its known to be very clean. 11 is a good age for a Golden.

Sorry, OP. But I’d be booking in sooner rather than later - as PP said, you don’t want to look back in 5-10 years and regret keeping her alive for your benefit, not because it was in her best interests. It’s the last act of kindness you can give her

I knobs of think if you are thinking about it then it's probably the right time.
It's never nice but it's a kindness that you can do for your pet.

Someone on one of my dog facebook groups recently wrote that it's better to PTS a day too early than a day too late. If you have ever seen a really poorly dog, you will understand why. I think it's best to chat to the vet as I don't believe a good vet will want to an animal suffer unnecessarily. Meanwhile spoil your little dog as much as possible.

I would agree with everyone here that a day too early is better than a day too late.
My Daisy had arthritis and was on meds for pain and the arthritis. This quality of life scale is good but only if you can answer it honestly. One of our cats, I still feel bad that she wasn’t euthanised sooner, despite this.
https://www.theveterinarynurse.com/content/clinical/the-use-of-quality-of-life-scales-for-hospice-and-end-of-life-patients/

My dog was ok with librella and then one day her back legs went and she couldn't walk, couldn't hold poo or wee because she couldn't squat etc. she was pts the next day. So sad but I knew it was the right thing. Yes I could have got wheels for her but she was 13, would have to be in nappies. It was time.

My dogs back legs went, struggled to stand. He was 15 so a good age for a big dog. I didn’t want him to suffer.
We had the lovely people come to the house to put him to sleep. Made a very sad event okay.

It does sound like it’s time for your dog too.

This, 100%.

I have just come back from the vet after putting our 15 year old dog to sleep. After a wellness check a month ago where he was slow but 'ok', he went downhill fast and when steroids and painkillers had little effect, and he started to struggle to stand up, and walking was very very slow. He'd whimper for us to help him get up and then he'd go outside to toilet, come back in and collapse. It broke my kids' hearts but it was time.

@mondaytosunday Im so sorry to hear that 💐

Thanks for all your replies, I nearly made the call earlier but she's not pooed in the house today (yet!) and I couldn't make the call.

Will take it one day at a time and see what tomorrow brings.

Understand it's better to do it a day too early rather than a day too late but I need to get my head round it.

Also, and I'm really sorry if this sounds mean, it can be much much worse if you wait for a crisis to take the decision out of your hands: dealing with fear and panic on top of existing issues is tough for everyone. One of my dogs had cancer, unknown to me, and went downhill terrifyingly fast. I'll never forget the dash to the vets.

Definitely that

Different animal but I was a week too early with my cat and I've never regretted it. It was calm, peaceful and the wait leading up to it was the worst thing. I didn't want to wait until it was a 3am emergency, driving 40 mins to an OOH vet with him in pain etc
A week or a month is nothing in the context of comparing to a human dying at 98 instead of 99

This happened to us with Daisy. We thought we could have one last short walk to her favourite place. We had to go straight back to the vets.
The drugs had worked and helped for a while, then she deteriorated in stages. We kidded ourselves she was improving.
Then one day I was booked for training to give the painkilling injections, but she deteriorated so quickly that the appointment was changed to euthanasia. Our trip to her favourite beach was more wishful thinking on our part.

I’m trying to make this decision right now. My dog is 15 and she is looking old and worn. I’m getting occasional messes in the house but not 100% sure it is her as have another dog too and not caught anyone in the act. Over the past week her back legs are getting weak although she is still able to
walk. Her breathing pattern is odd when In a deep sleep. She just looks exhausted and she is drinking more and has lumps under her skin.

We’re in the same situation with our 14 year old lab. She’s pooing as she’s walking and this week has twice pooped in her sleep. Her back end is quite wobbly at times and she sleeps a lot but she seems happy enough in herself which is the hard thing. Hand hold with you. It’s awful 😢

@1721sunset I'm in the same situation with my boy - 13.5 year old lab. He has mouth cancer (which is fairly stable), arthritis and now signs of dementia (although it could be the cancer has spread, no way of knowing without scans). We have had a few indoor accidents in the last few weeks, he definitely knows he needs to go and heads for the door, but can't hold things in now.

We see the vet monthly for health check and she has advised euthanasia at our next appointment in October. She says if we wait any longer we risk a sudden, catastrophic death and we all want to avoid that.

I'm really struggling, especially on days like today when he's having a good day and currently snoozing in the sun. He's still eating well, really happy to see me and wagging his tail. I want to do what's best for him, but ideally keep him by my side forever 😥

We knew that this would be our dear old girl's last summer, She has an inoperable tumour and her back legs are not good.
She is now pooing in the house, only able to have short walks and needs to be lifted into the van.
She is still loving her food and a cuddle. It won't get any better than this and we have decided on next week.
This time last year, people mistook her and her daughter for sisters. She went swimming in the river every day, the year round.

Sorry to everyone who,is dealing with this. 🥀

I said goodbye to my beautiful lab in July. The best dog I have ever had the privilege to know. She was 11 1/2 and had a bladder tumour, was losing weight rapidly but apart from the skinniness you wouldn’t have known there was anything wrong (strangers)- she was still bounding about, hyper as the day I brought her home at 8 weeks old. She was incontinent both ways and at the end she didn’t care. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, however, I am happy that I did it whilst she still had her spark. Only you know if she’s suffering as her dogmum and I truly believe it’s best to let go whilst they’ve still got their spirit intact. I’m sorry that this is happening to you and it is extremely painful but unfortunately most animals probably have to have us make this awful decision on their behalf. As a PP said, spoil her rotten the day before and have a happy last memory-mine was Daisy covered in chocolate as I had finally given in to her greatest want.
big hugs x

We went ahead and my dog was put to sleep today.

Yesterday we took her to the beach. She couldn’t walk far but had a paddle and lay on the blankets enjoying the sea air. We shared fish and chips and an ice cream, although she had a poor appetite even for treats. She had a restless night and looked worse today so I think we went at the right time. Feels very strange without her. The actual process was quick and calm and we could stay with her until we were ready to go.

We have another dog at home (young and lively) so that helps the house not feel quite as empty is it might have done.

Does she seem distressed she's soiling herself? Our rescue greyhound is at least 15 and does poop himself a few times a week in his sleep, but he has ataxia, kidney disease and has had his anal glands removed a few years ago, so is blissfully unaware most of the time. He's still finishing every meal, maintaining his weight and wants to be up and about. Once that spark goes I know that will be his time. We do a lot of rehab work with him, he gets accupuncture, laser and hydroptherapy each week (insurance did cover the first year of this). I don't think there's a right or wrong answer, it's just balancing what you're in a position to give versus how happy your dog seems. Once the bad days start to outweigh the good then you need to speak to your vet.