Page 2 | What do you wish you'd known before getting your first dog?

NewMaltese · 2024-09-09T08:14:32+00:00

Hello, I'm new to The Doghouse area of mn! I'm collecting our first ever dog on Friday, an 11wo female Maltese. I'm excited but completely overwhelmed with all the info and advice out there. My anxiety is off the scale 🫣 What do you wish you'd known before your puppy arrived? What one thing would you have done differently? Are there any products that you found invaluable? Any products/advice you wish you'd ignored? 🥰

Original poster

NewMaltese · 09/09/2024 13:18

Melsy88 · 09/09/2024 09:45

I have a Maltese mix, and my biggest regret is not being firmer with not allowing jumping up at people when she was a puppy. You will get a lot of attention when you're out and about with a cute small white puppy , the puppy will jump up in excitement and will get positive reinforcement from the human who thinks it's adorable. Then 2/3 years down the line it's so hard to untrain!

Oh great advice, thank you. Yeah, honestly one of my hates is going into someone's house and their dog launches at you for cuddles etc. It's too overwhelming for me 💓

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Dearg · 09/09/2024 13:19

Products that are not worth buying - puppy pads. When my very easily house trained lab ran back inside to pee while we were in the garden, it was time to move them out. Newspaper is just as good, but put the effort in to early training and that should be over quickly too.

I guess I did know, but chose to ignore, just how quickly I would fall in love with him, and how bad I would feel if he was ill.

Did not realise just what a difference formal training would make. 2+ years, good citizen awards, gundog training. He is bomb proof, and when we meet other male labs who have no little trainig, it is so very obvious.

stayathomer · 09/09/2024 13:20

Best thing I ever did
read easy peasy puppy squeezy
teach dog ‘watch me’ (he’s ignored other dogs because he was sitting watching me and waiting for a treat)
not give into my urges to rehome as a pup
not allow him on couch/ chairs (he turns into a meanie dog!!!)

I wish I’d known just how secure garden had to be (he burrowed under fencing, pulled out fencing, broke a wooden gate)
that you will never know what toys he likes before you buy them😅
that you have to add an extra ten minutes onto leaving the house
that you’ll rarely have time away, long random visits to people’s houses
that it is really like having a baby for the first while
that you need to remember he’s like a baby and that you love him!!!

TeeBee · 09/09/2024 13:21

That after the shine had worn off that I'd be totally responsible for a dog that I didn't bloody want in the first place!

SuddenlyINeedToGoCauseIHaveAThing · 09/09/2024 13:23

I think if I was getting ours again (who we adopted as a 3yo rather than a puppy), I’d probably book some sessions with a behaviourist right at the beginning to get advice on any training needed and apply consistently from the beginning. He’s great now but we muddled through a bit with some things where we could have taken a less circuitous route.

Other than that, nothing really – it’s been a delight to have him!

Original poster

NewMaltese · 09/09/2024 13:23

KhakiShaker · 09/09/2024 09:54

The question is more what wouldn’t I do different!

research the breed properly is the first thing. Understand what to expect from your breed and adjust your expectations accordingly. I don’t know a single dog that doesn’t have an issue of some sort!

Don’t overwhelm them by exposing them to all these new things thinking you’re ’getting them used to it’. No, it’s overwhelming. Take it slow and steady.

Learn dog etiquette. Don’t let your dog run up to those on lead because it’s a friendly pup. The other dog may not be friendly.

Research and invest in a good trainer. Take pup to classes, don’t rely on YouTube. Much more effective to train in person.

Thank you. I was explaining to my 13yo that she'll only be in one area of the house for a little while. I get overwhelmed in many situations too, so will be able to empathise with her 😬

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Original poster

NewMaltese · 09/09/2024 13:23

Meganssweatycrotch · 09/09/2024 09:56

This…

Yikes 😬😅😬😬

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Original poster

NewMaltese · 09/09/2024 13:26

Killingoffmyflowersonebyone · 09/09/2024 10:43

What do you wish you'd known before your puppy arrived? That 'socialising' does not mean letting your dog meet and be patted by every person going and, likewise, doesn't mean your dog doesn't need to greet every dog it sees.

What one thing would you have done differently? Not allowing people to greet my youngest (Golden Retriever so naturally everyone wants to say hi). I often did say no, but people pushed it and I should have been way more robust - I just didn't want an argument.

Are there any products that you found invaluable? Nope. Most of them are gimmicks!

Any products/advice you wish you'd ignored? Puppy training classes - did it for my most recent dog and honestly, waste of time, money and energy. Mumsnet loves them. I hate them. Think they're overpriced, the 'trainers' often know little about dog behaviour, the things you learn are actually better taught in your house and then out on a walk rather than in a random room etc. Half the time there are too many puppies in one room to adequately learn things (really you need to learn them first without distractions and then move on to learning them with distractions, otherwise you reinforce bad behaviour and get frustrated with your puppy when it fails). If you do decide to go to puppy training classes, then ask your local vet for a recommendation - don't be fooled by snazzy websites etc.

Edited

Re people running up and patting - would you ask people to wait or to ask permission for example, or would you literally ask them not to pat her? Or more that you'd limit the amount of time you stopped to talk to people?

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Original poster

NewMaltese · 09/09/2024 13:28

BabstheBounder · 09/09/2024 12:36

I thought the puppy classes were excellent. But I would have made my DH attend so that he knew why I was teaching the puppy certain things.

Worked on leaving the dog on its own, earlier. She cried whenever we left a room so it got worse if we stepped out the house. A year down the line and I'm baffled about next steps and DH has no clue either other than he expects we should just be able to leave the dog.

So lowering expectations too.

Oh, yes, that's a great point re lowering expectations. Thank you 😊

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stargirl1701 · 09/09/2024 13:28

How easy it really was. I had been told for 2 decades that owning a dog was exceptionally hard and tying. Honestly! I was told this by people who had children. How anyone can find a dog hard work after having DC is literally incredible to me.

DDog slept through the night from 4months, eats everything she is given with great enthusiasm, does what she is told, always happy to see me and always keen for a walk. None of my DC meet that criteria!!!!🤬

Original poster

NewMaltese · 09/09/2024 13:29

IjustbelieveinMe · 09/09/2024 13:15

What do I wish I had known?

That when you talk to them your voice will automatically go 10 octaves higher, particularly when praising them in the initial toilet training stage. You have no control over it, it just happens. Resulting in you never being able to make eye contact with your neighbours ever again.

Hahaha 😆
Like talking to a tiny baby - why do we naturally go hypersonic? 😆

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girlwhowearsglasses · 09/09/2024 13:31

How much I’d fall in love 🥰

all of the above also

Original poster

NewMaltese · 09/09/2024 13:31

MexicanOrange · 09/09/2024 13:15

You can't reinforce training enough

I would echo what @Melsy88 said. We were v good when ddog was a puppy at jumping up but as he got older, we stopped reinforcing it so much and he immediately went back to doing it. Don't underestimate how many people will stoop down to pat the dog completely uninvited!

How did you reinforce it? Saying no, or turning away to stop the attention?
I know I'm currently pretty clueless at the moment- hence why all the questions. I don't want to do things wrong for her.

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Bemusedandconfusedagain · 09/09/2024 13:32

One thing that is important is to let them see all sorts of types of people, wearing all sorts of things relatively early old. Dogs don't generalise well. So if e.g. a dog never sees a person wearing a hat or a man with a beard of whatever in the early socialisation period they can become fearful of them later on.

Play them all sorts of sounds in a low key relaxed way when they are at home from day 1. E.g. traffic, restaurant noise, fireworks, trains, different animals etc. This is what they do with guide dog puppies from birth so that they are not fearful of the noises later on. It's worth looking at the Guide Dogs pet dog training advice actually. It's very good and obviously they turn out very well behaved and well socialised dogs.

Original poster

NewMaltese · 09/09/2024 13:34

Dearg · 09/09/2024 13:19

Products that are not worth buying - puppy pads. When my very easily house trained lab ran back inside to pee while we were in the garden, it was time to move them out. Newspaper is just as good, but put the effort in to early training and that should be over quickly too.

I guess I did know, but chose to ignore, just how quickly I would fall in love with him, and how bad I would feel if he was ill.

Did not realise just what a difference formal training would make. 2+ years, good citizen awards, gundog training. He is bomb proof, and when we meet other male labs who have no little trainig, it is so very obvious.

Wow, that's amazing re the training 🥰

I had actually been wondering re puppy pads, as that's where she "goes" currently. Is it worth having them for the first day or two so that not everything is totally different, or do you think it's best for us to start as we'd hope to go on?

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Original poster

NewMaltese · 09/09/2024 13:36

stargirl1701 · 09/09/2024 13:28

How easy it really was. I had been told for 2 decades that owning a dog was exceptionally hard and tying. Honestly! I was told this by people who had children. How anyone can find a dog hard work after having DC is literally incredible to me.

DDog slept through the night from 4months, eats everything she is given with great enthusiasm, does what she is told, always happy to see me and always keen for a walk. None of my DC meet that criteria!!!!🤬

Oh that's interesting - and probably my biggest fear at the moment, so it's great to hear stories like yours x

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Original poster

NewMaltese · 09/09/2024 13:39

Bemusedandconfusedagain · 09/09/2024 13:32

One thing that is important is to let them see all sorts of types of people, wearing all sorts of things relatively early old. Dogs don't generalise well. So if e.g. a dog never sees a person wearing a hat or a man with a beard of whatever in the early socialisation period they can become fearful of them later on.

Play them all sorts of sounds in a low key relaxed way when they are at home from day 1. E.g. traffic, restaurant noise, fireworks, trains, different animals etc. This is what they do with guide dog puppies from birth so that they are not fearful of the noises later on. It's worth looking at the Guide Dogs pet dog training advice actually. It's very good and obviously they turn out very well behaved and well socialised dogs.

What a brilliant idea, thanks so much.
I had been planning on firework sounds once she was a little more settled, and reacting in no way at all to the noises, but I hadn't considered everyday noise - thank you x

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MexicanOrange · 09/09/2024 13:39

For jumping up we use the paws on the floor rule. He doesn't get greeted and no one says hello unless all 4 paws are on the floor. You teach it by not greeting them till they sit and go from there. Sometimes you have to turn your back to reinforce that no attention whatsoever will come until they sit down. Of course the difference is you can't make 3rd parties do this so you need to do it relentlessly at home so they get it and keep reminding them!

Original poster

NewMaltese · 09/09/2024 13:41

MexicanOrange · 09/09/2024 13:39

For jumping up we use the paws on the floor rule. He doesn't get greeted and no one says hello unless all 4 paws are on the floor. You teach it by not greeting them till they sit and go from there. Sometimes you have to turn your back to reinforce that no attention whatsoever will come until they sit down. Of course the difference is you can't make 3rd parties do this so you need to do it relentlessly at home so they get it and keep reminding them!

Ah I see! That's brilliant. Thanks again 🥰

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DataPup · 09/09/2024 13:45

We've never used puppy pads, over two puppies we've had a grand total of 4 wees and 1 poo on the kitchen floor.

They were both introduced to the garden before going in the house so the very first place they toileted was outside. They got it very very quickly.

Ohmychristdawn · 09/09/2024 13:47

Just not to do it. Ever. At all. The expense. The commitment. The muck n hair. The smell. All worse in Winter. The poo picking. Being so tied. Mainly though, the absolute soul-shattering pain of losing them.

KeenOtter · 09/09/2024 13:48

I think good puppy classes and a good trainer are vital for a first time dog owner.

Get them to come to your house for a 121 as soon as you get your puppy and ask all those questions that you will have. It is useful to have a professional on board that can help quickly if anything pops up that you are unsure of.

Do check the trainer has qualifications so usually easy to find IMDT or APDT traners in your area.

They should be able to see what will work in your household.

Dont use puppy pads just take your puppy outside very frequently.

Throwawayme · 09/09/2024 13:49

I'd not bother with the pads at all. Just get a spot cleaner if you have carpets. My friend and I got our puppies at almost the same time. I just took my wee guy out every 20 -30 minutes or so at first. They used the pads and toilet training for them took a lot longer.

Killingoffmyflowersonebyone · 09/09/2024 13:51

NewMaltese · 09/09/2024 13:26

Re people running up and patting - would you ask people to wait or to ask permission for example, or would you literally ask them not to pat her? Or more that you'd limit the amount of time you stopped to talk to people?

Show quote history

People should 100% wait and ask. But never be afraid of saying no - whilst it's good to have people pat her, she also needs to learn that not everyone will want to and she needs to 'desensitise' to people. The last thing you want is a dog (even a small one) jumping on everyone they see thinking they'll get pats. I made this mistake with my Golden (admittedly much bigger) and it is NO fun trying to teach a Golden to not jump up at small children when he's used to everyone wanting to be his friend

Equally, you want to be teaching her to walk to heel and pay attention to you on walks - and she won't do that if everyone else is fussing her! 😃

Sleepersausage · 09/09/2024 13:56

We got our first dog in February and my main takeaway is there is too much advice and marketing for products out there, like with babies. It's overwhelming and the vast majority completely unnecessary especially when they're so young. You won't need mental stimulation games yet as her stimulation will come from basic training, the puzzle bowls however are helpful to slow down eating. Best thing I did was a 6 week training course, one hour a week.