New dog anxiety

[Anono1001]

Hi

Hopefully no one will judge me I'm just looking for some advice.

I lost my beloved dog in April after nearly 11 years together. It was incredibly hard but absolutely the right thing. During those last 4 months I've managed and appear to function as expected but I'd be lying if something hasn't felt right for me and our home has been really lonely.

So to get to the point, I rehomed a dog yesterday unexpectedly. I have no reason to have any concerns. Dog is wonderful. Fantastic with my child. I have all paperwork and registration details etc. Eats well, toilets in the garden, sleeps like a dream. Absolutely wonderful dog.

But I am really quite shocked with the level of anxiety that has hit me. I'm not sure if my ADHD impulsivity has played a part in how I feel with how quick it happened but I wasn't expecting this. I was sick twice last night, head was spinning, I feel better today but I have no appetite. And I don't know why as above, he has given me no reason to be worried.

It's making me feel so crap because he is glorious. I look at him and feel so lucky me and my child get to love another dog again. We definitely are a family who thrive on the companionship of a dog, but I wasn't expecting this wave of fear, guilt, anxiety I'm currently facing.

Any advice welcome

Aw bless you.
It's strange getting a new dog and getting to know them. I am assuming this new dog is an adult and not a puppy so at least you don't have to got through all the toilet training bit.
As for your anxiety, you are probably feeling guilty that your old dog would think he is forgotten, but obviously he is not and you have a lot of love to give a new dog in your family.
I'm not sure that I can offer any practical help but I'm sure as the days move on you will feel better about the new dog. Can you imagine not having him? Is that worse than having him?
I really hope you get over this and start to enjoy your new family with this new dog.

Bless you. Yes the gulit bit has made me cry.
His so wonderful to be around. My heart feels open again but I wish I felt more joy and far less anxious

It gets easier, I have 3 dogs and also have ADHD so know I'm prone to impulsive decisions!! After each other I have had severe anxiety and really regretted it. But it has never lasted and I love all 3 to bits!!
I think it's the change in routine and also the pressure I put on myself to be a good dog owner.
You will look back in a few weeks or months and be glad you got the dog and gave it a lovely home xx

Thank you so much. Thank goodness it hasn't lasted. I adore all dogs I'm quite ashamed of myself feeling so riddled with anxiety. Especially as he has been faultless

May I ask, as something I'm finding really odd is I thought I'd instantly feel bonded.

I absolutely love dogs. Our new dog is the sweetest and is giving me so much affection which I reciprocate. But I worry I had this picture in my head that all loneliness would leave me once we welcomed a new companion into our home but I'm riddled with anxiety more so than ever and actually being sick. I haven't been able to eat or barely drink in the last 2 days.

Should I feel more bonded? Is it an instant feeling?

@Anono1001 I have no doubt of the bond I have with my pup, but it came with anxiety, and some loneliness too. I love him so strongly that there's no room for doubt, but the responsibility I feel towards him brings a great big rush of anxiety too (and has since day one) - am I getting this right, am I a good enough owner, what if something goes wrong, what if he hates his sitter or daycare, what if I can't get him in the car without distress when we have to drive to daycare, etc. etc. And my life has for the moment got much smaller. I can't leave him, I can't yet meet friends for coffee unless they come to me, I can't drive over to see friends and family, the cognitive load of looking after a demanding young puppy seems to have crowded out my capacity to think, I'm barely holding it together with work and life admin, and now that summer's over all those demands are going to get bigger which is again a source of anxiety. I have ADHD too.

Short version: I don't know if it's normal but you're certainly not alone.

The one thing that I'm beginning to think might be an unexpected bonus is that I'm forced to live much more in the moment than usual. Usually I'd be berating myself for not achieving; but with a puppy you have to go at his pace, and if he needs you to sit on the sofa while he naps, that's what you do. I've done nothing all August except work and hang out with him. At some level I suspect that's been good for me. And looking back to the first few weeks, the difference is amazing - it will get better, you will have more room to breathe, the anxiety eases, and the life you had before him will start flowing back into the gaps.

Thank you so much for your response @Bupster in fact none of the responses has made me feel like I am this awful person I am telling myself I am.

What you wrote resonated with me alot and I take great comfort that I am not alone