Introducing toddler to dog

[familyissues12345]

Hi,

We have a 7 year old mixed breed, small dog. She generally has a very loving temperament, very people focussed (loves a fuss)

However - we know that as time has gone on, he love of "her people" has meant she can get a bit jealous - she'll jump up and whine at me if someone gives me a hug for example.

She has never ever bitten, but will grumble (growl?) lightly if someone knocks her tail.

Now to today - we have family visiting with a baby and 2 year old. We had made plans to have our dog cared for, but have decided that we can't avoid them being in the same house forever!

To be clear - under no circumstances will the dog and little ones be left alone. Under no circumstances will we allow the toddler to do things to upset our dog.

We have been muzzle training, so have that as a plan. We would only use for short times when dog/child are in the same room - we have enough space that I'll keep our dog with me whilst I'm cooking, away from the guests. However there will be times we'll all be together.

We could leave the dog in another room, but she's likely to get really upset, and I'd rather try and avoid it.

We will at all times have somewhere that dog can bugger off to if she wants to.

So after all of that waffle - any tips on how to introduce them?

I’m slightly confused tbh as to why you think a muzzle might be needed…it’s not really sounding like it’s warranted.

How do you normally introduce people? Is there an issue round visitors? Or greeting people?

@tabulahrasa I'm being paranoid I suppose. She's absolutely lovely with people, but isn't used to little ones, so we want to be prepared.

Does your dog have a trained settle or mat cue?

If so pop the dog on a lead and on their mat and do not let the toddler approach him.

Let him watch calmly from a distance and have no interaction between either of them.

Calm indifference is what I would be aiming for

We always shut her into the lounge or kitchen when people arrive. She thinks everyone loves her, so will jump up if left to her own devices. So we normally welcome people in, and ask if they're happy for us to let her out.

She's so flipping soft, she's made people who are usually scared, want a dog!

However, it's the grumping when someone "hurts" her (brushes her tails) that worries me with a toddler around. Could it make her feel protective of herself as he is a very active toddler.

I don't know, maybe I am being a bit too overprotective

That's a good idea. Yes she does. She's generally very obedient .

The tail issue would worry me, toddler’s pull and hurt.
I would go for a lead too, just be prepared for the toddler to still go for the dog- it might be the toddler that needs supervising and correcting. I’d keep the dog with you in the kitchen when cooking and as much as possible and have a quiet area for the dog to access away from the child. Can’t see the baby being an issue unless in crawling phase…

Yeah the tail issue is my worry. I wouldn't otherwise be overly concerned, she's a really lovely dog. I just don't think you can be too careful.

I'll keep her lead to hand and just try and keep her out of the way. She loves our bed (her bed!), so will leave her access to that too as a safe place to escape to

Some dogs can be even more protective on the lead - is yours one of them?

I'd be wary of allowing a toddler to touch a dog who growls when someone goes near her tail as well, in all honesty, just because toddlers can be (unintentionally) rough and don't necessarily listen when they're told to stop.

I’m not anti muzzle particularly, it just sounds like it’s not really needed.

A lot of what you want to do really depends on the toddler and its parents, some toddlers are more interested in dogs than others, some parents are better at supervising their toddlers than others.

If the parents are usually pretty on the ball, to be dead honest, I’d just warn them your dog will complain if its tail is touched and go what you’d normally do with visitors and then play it by ear a bit.

To be honest, and it's a bit crap to admit, the parents are half the issue, so I'm trying to protect my dog here.

I would be devastated if the little one got hurt, but even more devastated if the parents then tried to make out our dog was at fault.

Ah if the parents are the issue then I’d have the dog on lead so I was supervising any posdible interaction with the toddler myself.

Are they just coming for the day today? If so, I would shut the dog away in your bedroom for the day. It isn't an ideal day for the dog, but she can hang out on your bed and she will be out of the way of any potential accident with the toddler. I wouldn't even want to take the chance and you know she can react and toddlers are unpredictable.

Yeah just for the afternoon. I've got older children, including a teenager who spends a lot of time in his room, so will ask he leaves his door open so she can go and sit with him too

I'm assuming the family aren't frequent visitors given it sounds you haven't come across this issue before and you're introducing the 2 year old to the dog. If you normally shut the dog away to start with then ask if visitors if they don't mind the dog coming out, what is different this time? Tbh if you are worried about the dog potentially growling or biting to the point you're thinking of putting a muzzle on her, then she shouldn't really be around young children. Looking at this from another perspective, as a parent, if I visited someone's home with my toddler and was met with a muzzled dog who was at risk of growling and biting I really wouldn't be very happy that either the dog wasn't put away somewhere else or I wasn't warned beforehand and made my own choice whether to still come.

In that case, I would definitely put her in with him for the afternoon.

I have a dog myself and I always put him in my bedroom behind a gate when I have visitors who are nervous or unfamiliar with dogs. I would just rather not take any chances, as if something did happen, then the consequences are so great.

I don’t see why you need to introduce a grumbly old dog who might react to its tail being touched to a small child who is a stranger and has no impulse control. Just why? Keep it away.

I find a lot of what you say in your original post to be a big red flag and to be honest it’s asking for trouble. I’ve heard this before and most of the time it means my dog shouldn’t really be around small children or strangers but I’m going to push it anyway. Reminds me of the time my ex’s Auntie said this about her dog, it was a massive fucking Rottweiler and they had to drag the thing out because it started being aggressive.

We have a dog and a toddler. She is fine with our toddler and used to the energy/behaviour they can bring.

However, If people visit with little children I always put the dog away in the kitchen with access to outside (if we’re inside) or the utility room (her “den”). She can whine a bit for short time periods and having stair gates so she can see what is going on helps her be less wound up,

if staying overnight/for a long time, we make sure she has a long walk to tire her out before hand/after and take her out intermittently in between. I try introducing through the stair gate directly supervised first and then if dog can be calm/not bouncy let her out in a controlled environment, again with constant direct supervision.

I think do what’s best for the dog and see what mitigations would work for them, if it’s too stressful for the dog, I’d rather they stayed elsewhere where they could be more relaxed, even if sad/expensive for us having her away!

I just really would not want to have a situation where my dog was involved in a situation with a child (despite her being extremely friendly and entirely non-reactive). Consider that a small child and their parents may become upset from things that wouldn’t bother an adult used to dog e.g. like scratching with their claws accidentally or licking they may think they’re going to bite etc…

You don't need to introduce your dog to the toddler. It's a short visit, let her be somewhere she is happy and safe and restrict the toddler to the living room.

This. Absolutely this. Let the dog have some peace away from an irritating child.

They absolutely know she exists, and know they have a child who is very active.

They're family, we've spent the last couple of years just avoiding them coming here, but it's got to the point that we can't always avoid it (we live too far apart), and now with the baby arriving we all feel that we need to be able to have them visit.

To be clear, she has never ever bitten, snapped or bared her teeth at anyone, but isn't used to children so I'm being cautious.

Could you go out for a meal…..😂sounds the easier option. I’ve grown up around dogs and so has DD, but it’s pretty inevitable that someone gets scratched, stepped on, skittled over etc. Our dog is huge and DD’s friends are mostly scared of him, (thank god). He’s old and needs his peace though in his head he wants to play and mix- he loves everybody.
Could be a stressful visit OP, all the best! Utilise the teen!

I think protect your dog at all costs - let it stay safely away in your bedroom. Your guests aren't staying long, and toddlers can be a pain in the a*, I wouldn't take the risk that your dog will be at blame if anything goes wrong.

That's what we've been doing the last couple of years, thought once the toddler reaches 3/4 and is a bit less unpredictable then she'd be fine - she's grown up with my children, has always been absolutely fine around their friends etc, but they weren't toddlers when she arrived so were more sensible - youngest was 7.

TBH, that's my biggest thing. Toddlers parents are less than keen to literally shadow their toddler, but would be the type to be very quick to throw accusations if dog so much as made toddler jump.

They are the ones who have pushed this visit, and whilst I don't disagree with it - it would be nice to discover that this works- I want to make sure I've covered all bases, hence the reason for this thread.

Thanks all, really appreciate the tips and a chance to talk about it!