After a loss/Being a non dog owner/future advice

[Mummy289]

Since I was born I have always been around dogs, parents dog owners (actually they were her babies 🤣).
When I moved out we got a rescue dog within a year, when she passed away, within a few months got a puppy. I remember then the shock that our new puppy wasn’t our dog and I think that’s the hard part about grieving. However, our puppy, turned to be a perfect member of our family, and our family grew with her. She was honestly amazing with the kids, certainly not perfect, pulled on the lead, barker at other dogs sometimes lol. Honesty though amazing with the kids. Esp as our children all have autism.
April this year we had to have put to sleep, she was 15 and honestly the whole thing was awful, for the year before she had become incontinent and by the end she was doing it in her bed and laying in, and it was just constant. The kids were devastated as grew up with her and I really felt like a failure with it.
I loved her so much but there was relieve when passed which sounds awful, not constantly cleaning poo and wee and letting her in and out the garden (she had dementia and that’s what had caused these issues).
Up until the last month tbh I just had this feeling of guilt and feeling of I should have done better and was it the right decision etc.
However the last month I have started to feel this longing for a dog. I see them every where, I miss dog walks I miss having a dog.
Not going to lie I absolutely love not cleaning dog poop out the garden though 🤣.
We won’t get one yet, as our youngest is really quite difficult at the moment and I know although I would love another dog I wouldn’t have time to train with how she is at the min.
Although we have not got a dog 🤣. One things keeps playing on my mind and that’s holidays, we have actually been able to go on more holidays which has been lovely. Our previous dog always came with us on holiday and I’m not going to lie when she got to about 10 it would of been easier to have not brought her (she would poo and wee every where even if we were there, I think this was her first sign of the deterioration of her health). She got to the age it would have been cruel for kennels. We tried dog sitters but they always let us down.
There is quite a nice dog kennels down the road and I feel I only think this because I don’t have a dog 🤣. I don’t want to go without the holiday and want to go abroad. Doesn't mean to say I want to give up the dream of having a dog. We literally have no family. 2 weeks of the year stopping us getting another dog.
Then this leads me to think maybe we would be better with 2 dogs next time, so they can keep each other company? However then I think I know I can’t cope with one at the moment. So again, it’s just asking if you did how did you find having sibling dogs?
I think I’m scared of getting another dog as I don’t want to feel the guilt again 😢. However I terribly miss having a dog. On top of that my brain knows I can’t have one right now until my youngest is calmer. (She is 2 under assessment for autism but at the minute is a whirlwind). My older 3 were great with our doggy. Really I’m writing out loud ans I hope that’s ok. Maybe having something to look forward to. My hope would be next winter to hopefully be in a position to get a dog. Maybe to start saving now. I really just want ideas.

A responsible breeder would never sell two puppies from the same litter. So if a breeder is willing to do that, you should immediately swerve them - chances are the dogs will be sickly, have expensive medical conditions etc because a person who does that won’t be willing to put the effort into breeding healthy puppies.

It can go horribly (and I cannot stress this enough) wrong. Rarely does it go right (cue some arm-chair expert popping up and saying ‘I did it and it’s fine’ - well they are the exception, not the norm).

Dogs are fine in kennels. They don’t need another dog to cope. So if that’s your only reason for wanting two dogs, don’t do it.

Two dogs, even not siblings, is hard. Not twice as hard. Ten times as hard. It’s twice as expensive. You have to build your entire lives around both of them - or in my case all five - because you can’t just leave them at home for hours because they ‘have each other’ - it doesn’t work like that.

So sorry about your loss. It is never easy saying goodbye and it sounds as if you had a really strong bond with your girl and cared for her very well right up to the end.

There are dog people on here far more knowledgeable and articulate than me so I'm sure you will get many helpful opinions but I will say two things:

Firstly, don't rush into getting another dog. Allow yourself time to think things through. Make a list of the pros and cons about dog ownership and wait until you're sure you are ready. After our previous dog died it took us almost three years to be ready for another.

Secondly, I would advise against getting two dogs at the same time because sometimes they can bond with each other more than the owners or family. It is also a hell of a lot of work having two and getting them into a routine, particularly with young kids in the household. We were a multi dog household for many years, we had two half-sisters but there was a gap of several months between them. It's probably best to get one dog properly settled before then introducing a younger one. I agree with the above poster that a single dg is fine, multiple is very much harder.

Good luck with your search for the right dog, even if it remains in the planning stage for a while as it did with us. (Edited for typo).

Thank you. What you have said completely makes sense. It was 15 years ago I last trained a dog and forgot how difficult it was. However I remember how long it took her to know her name. However she was very clever and picked up training relatively fast.

It def won’t be in the next year. I have delibretly booked lots of holidays to stop me too 🤣. Maybe the longer time goes the less the feeling of wanting another dog will become. It’s just a new feeling, but I certainly won’t be rushing anything. I would also like a lot saved up behind me, as know how expensive dogs are getting them done and vaccinations and toys etc. There is a lot of firsts without her this year and I think it’s hurting a little.