How do I get our bond back?

[Hotgoose]

My dog is 5 and I feel like we’ve lost our bond, or rather I’ve lost it. He has epilepsy and some joint/hip issues which we’re managing with medication, vet help and a very specific diet. But I feel like my love of having a dog is getting lost in all the stress of these costs, vet appointments, the constant worrying about him, the thought of all the money each month (when we’ve very little to spare) and the additional stress of rushing around after a toddler then feeling guilty the dog isn’t getting enough attention (although he really is, but before our toddler came along our entire weekends we’re focused around the dog).

Any tips for how to get that bond back and try not to worry too much but to just enjoy him? Any similar experiences?

I’d do some training with him. That creates a bond. Do you take him anywhere special for a walk/run, like the beach?

Try to think of the things you like about your dog. What activities do or did you enjoy most with him?

I do but exercise is difficult at the moment as it’s hurting his hips and legs and excitement can be a trigger for his epilepsy so stuff like this has to be really carefully managed. We okay hide and seek with treats and do encrichment toys etc but I’m feeling like I’m just going through the motions, I’ve no enjoyment in it anymore because I’m so worried it’s going to end up hurting him if he jumps about

I used to love walking him but because he’s unwell that’s not really an enjoyable thing anymore as it’s another source of worry. I used to love just cuddling him but I feel like it’s just going through the motions now, I don’t actually enjoy any of it anymore

Can you take him swimming or to the beach? The water would support him and most dogs enjoy being in the water.

Depends on his personality but I used to get down on the floor with my dog and he’d put his head by mine and we’d just commune together. Bit like skin-to-skin with a baby 😂

I was advised not to take my dog with epilepsy swimming as if he had a seizure in the water it would be really dangerous. Very sad as he was a Spanish Water Dog!

He refuses to swim 🤦‍♀️ we are working on it and have some sessions booked at a pool but so far he hates it 😭

That’s a good idea, thanks, maybe some more cuddles and naps together are in order

Oh I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that about swimming so thank you. My dog is very small so I suppose we’d easily be able to get him out the water but yeah makes sense that it would dangerous

Hydro therapy ?
My dawg hates water too, but is currently undergoing a course of hydro to help arthritis...
I can't say he loves it, but at least he doesn't try to run out of the building anymore 😳
I completely understand though about the worry, I've over walked my boy for the last year (it's all new to me, he's a rescue via someone I know, everyone told me he was super fit- and now he's got arthritis 😳 I'm a shit dog mum)
So now am super scared of longer walks, throwing the ball ... both things he loved 😳
We've recently started clicker training, he's so quick and loves it! Although offers many behaviours - not always what I want 😂 but it's a fun thing to do
Or just enjoy cuddles, my boy although Terror X is softer than butter left in the sun all day 😂❤️
What's the long term prognosis for him? Is his epilepsy under control? Or still trial and error...

Friend with dog who had fits has tried coconut oil and the fits have stopped. Worth a try?

😁 I used to read to my dog, explain some of the stuff I had to learn for my uni course and sometimes we just had toddler & dog reading sessions!
She'd often look at me and listened very intense for one of the magic words!
She was a special dog and I swear I am not bonkers but she used to talk to me in a 6th sense kind of way! (You know, she be in my head if she needed to go out, was hurt, untrustworthy people in the vicinity, .... )

The epilepsy is mostly controlled, no more seizures but still fly snapping episodes. Now it’s just his hips we’re worried about 🤦‍♀️ going through some tests/trials to see if it’s arthritis or dysplasia and have X-rays booked in (how we’re going to pay for them I don’t know)

Sounds like you need to rebalance the enjoyable side after a lot of stress . See if can pick up a secondhand doggy stroller and after doing some slow intro so they don't freak out , hopefully you can both enjoy walks again as they still get a lot of mental enrichment from all sights and smells. A picnic blanket for pitstop to lounge out together .

Duggies in Buggies www.facebook.com/groups/366856060427902/

They can still hop out for some short plods when they get to the interesting spots
even if can't manage distance of old walks any more. Taking more of a little but often approach to exercise aids arthritis, so you'd stop before they appear tired and lagging with rests in between then it's less of a strain and they don't end up achey. Movement helps keep muscle tone and can reduce stiffness and even if each walking spurt is barely 5min over the course of a day it can soon adds up to more than they'd have managed in a single walk or 2.

So while x-rays would be useful to know what the cause is, if your financially struggling speak to your vet as whether it's arthritis or hip dysplasia its likely to have the same conservative treatment plan with managing inflation/pain relief and moderating activity and home adjustments to avoid slips/strains. So if you aren't likely to be able to fund any further expensive treatments or surgery after the x-rays it may not actually be necessary to do them yet. If you do plan to go to an orthopaedic specialist (not sure if just maxed out years insurance or don't have any) they sometimes end up repeating the x-rays or CT.

Canine Arthritis Management is a great source of information by veterinary and other specialists. There's loads for free but if find want more of a deep dive its only £25 p/yr for a member zone access (it funds the website so they can stay independent)

Would personally avoid librela pain relief injections if offered as seems a few dogs started getting seizures after so maybe at greater risk if already epileptic. Works amazing for some dogs but like all drugs some may have some worrying side effects/reactions.