Socialisation

[Gettingitrightfirsttime]

We don’t have a puppy yet but have been planning to get one for years and we are inching ever closer to ‘the right time’.

One thing I feel quite overwhelmed by is the socialisation aspect. As I understand it recommended things to do are walk with puppy in your arms before they can go on the ground, drive to car parks and let puppy watch comings and goings while sitting in the boot, going for a coffee and sitting with puppy on your knee etc etc etc.

In an ideal world when the dog is older we want it to be neutral to other dogs/humans? Am I right I thinking this? We don’t want the dog to have to approach every person for a fuss but also don’t want them to be scared of people.

My question is how to achieve that? Should you not allow anyone to approach the puppy for a fuss? Only allow people we approach to fuss the puppy? Same with dogs.

Thanks!

They don't need to have loads of contact with people and other dogs to not be afraid of them. They just need to see a wide variety and to have contact with a reasonable number of 'safe' ones: children who won't squeal in their faces, people of various types (old, young, sunglasses, hats, etc etc), and a range of friendly dogs. they need to learn that their things are not a threat.

What they don't need to do is run up to every person they see and get given a fuss and a treat, and up to every dog they see for a play, otherwise they will learn that those things are super fun and are likely to go on doing them when you're trying to work on recall. And running up to strangers and unknown dogs can, of course, backfire badly - a stranger might kick out at an over-enthusiastic puppy, an unknown dog might bite - in a way that will not help with socialisation at all.

If someone says, 'Oh, what a dear little chap, can I say hello?' it's generally fine to let them fuss the puppy. It's even better if, when the puppy is a little older, this random person insists on it not jumping up before providing attention, and doesn't encourage crazy behaviour. If the puppy is shy and needs its confidence building, I might slip the stranger a treat and ask them to give it to the puppy. If the puppy is a bit too over-enthusiastic, I might say, 'Of course, but let me just get her to sit down first, otherwise she might jump all over you.' If the response to that is, 'Oh, I don't mind!' you need to say that you do, as you don't want this little bruiser doing it to children.

As for dogs, get to know a few local dog walkers. They'll know who the bolshy dogs are that are best avoided, and which ones are likely to be good with puppies. Judge each dog/puppy encounter that you try on its own merits, and be ready to intervene if it looks as if it's going wrong - while, obviously, at the same excusing utter relaxation and a sense of calm!

I worked through it in three stages with my most recent dog.

Pre-vaccination (i.e. before puppy can go on the ground) - No one touches puppy except family/friends inside the house. I wanted puppy to be used to people coming in and him getting a fuss and then them leaving him to do his own thing. When puppy was in my arms and I was 'socialising' no one could touch puppy. This kept puppies focus on the world and on me.

Post-vaccination - A select group of other dogs that puppy would meet on walk. I wasn't picky but I made sure puppy interacted with older dogs/younger dogs/big dogs/small dogs etc. I was lucky in that I already had three dogs at that point (one foster, two my own) so I had a good sense of which dogs were appropriate for puppy to be friendly with.

If someone tried to let their dog come over and wasn't paying attention/didn't ask then I would ask them to call their dog back - I wanted puppies interactions to be on my say so, not only to stop puppy being overwhelmed but also because socialising with every dog it meets is not necessary. Also, people who let their dogs wander up to other dogs rarely have well trained dogs and just because a dog wanders up it doesn't actually mean it's friendly - often they can be the least friendly.

In regards to people, I mostly let other dog people say hi - because they tend to know not to over-stimulate a young dog. I avoided children unless they already had a dog - because young children get far too overexcited, wind puppies up, can be rough and quite frankly I didn't need the hassle. The last thing you want is some idiot person over stimulating the puppy, not taking the hint and going away and your puppy jumping all over them and starting to think that's acceptable behaviour - because it's not.

I was not shy of telling people no - mostly because when I was out walking my puppy I was also training puppy to walk to heel/focus on me (first few months are crucial for this) and I didn't need some idiot thinking their right to pat my dog trumped everything else.

Youth/Teenage (up to two years for big breeds) - By this point, puppy had grown to understand that socialisation was on my terms. He's 18 months now and pretty much ignores every other dog on a walk except for his select 'few' friends who have been carefully selected. He's balanced and friendly, but he's more than happy just to trot past other dogs and ignore them - and that is the point of training I think all dogs should get to.

IMO socialisation with dogs/people should 100% be on your terms, not on anyone else's. Not because someone's little child wants to say hi, not because they want to say hi, not because their dog is badly trained wants to say hi. But because YOU want your dog to socialise and the other dog owner/person is in agreement. You'll need to be firm with people tbh as a lot of people think puppies (particularly of 'nice' breeds like Retrievers etc) are fair game for them and their entire family to fuss - and they are not.

Our one big regret with our golden retriever pup (now in the thick of the teenage stage at 18 months old🙈) is allowing strangers to constantly come up to pet and make a fuss over her in the early days. She has grown to expect it which is very problematic. The entitlement of people to turn around and pet your puppy without even asking would amaze you - usually fully grown adults who should know better! I’d advise getting one of the training leads with the big ‘do not pet’ message on it. Your dog, your terms - do not be afraid to stay firm and say no to people.