Friend rehoming due to depression

[Anon645]

My friend is suffering from pretty brutal depression and has been for a number of months. She has young children and a 1 year old dog. At the moment she is contemplating rehoming the dog as she feels her depression leaves her unable to cope with him. She feels extremely guilty as I know she loves the dog and she is very affectionate ate towards it. She doesn't have any family to mind the dog and I already have my own pets and family so can't take the dog on for her.

Does anyone have any advice? At the moment the dog is having a walk twice a week as that's all she can do. She's also not got the energy to train the dog beyond what she's already done as she's so low and fatigued.

Any advice?

@crumblingschools I’m really worried about the children as well.

Please warn her that smaller breeds can be purchased really cheap with super convincing stories of lovely family homes to go to be dog fighting bait - if we’re being completely honest not many people would take on a dog with potential behavioural issues due to poor ownership, that isn’t toilet trained and with all due respect has not been cared for appropriately in such a significant stage of its life. I really do think he needs to go to a rescue centre where he can be assessed and rehomed properly where they do appropriate checks and make sure whoever takes him on, allows for him to get a better start

She said she paid £500 for the dog initially and someone is offering her £300 so she'll be making half the money back.

£300

For a Non house trained JR mix?

Can someone more astute than me explain what's going on here?

Rather than knocking a woman down who is very ill, maybe try saying ‘she should be proud of herself that she is managing to take the dog out twice a week’?

I’m super concerned about this also, nobody in their sane mind really is going about buying an arguably badly bred dog (puppies that are well bred nowadays are never £500) a year down the line, where it’s not been given any energy outlets so likely behavioural issues, not housetrained, isn’t worked or walked (again could have issues with socialisation/reactivity etc) for £300, over half what the puppy was initially worth at I presume (and hope!) was 8-9 weeks old.

With all due respect OP, your friend has said she feels guilty, and that it is too much for her to handle. Surely she would rather know from rescue or foster she is giving it to a good home, and going to an appropriate place where it can have a solid foundation rather than the poor thing potentially getting passed from pillar to post, potentially bred or worse? Rather than thinking of the monetary value which has well and truly gone, considering it’s a living being in relatively poor conditions. Scary that anybody can turn up and while it may be some lovely kind soul who feels sorry for a beloved family pet being sold due to unforeseen circumstances, the likelihood is as with majority of cases I see day to day, it unfortunately isn’t.

Yes walking and fresh air is beneficial to mental health, but they have to be able to get outside first, and it is quite common for people with crippling depression to not be able to do that!

Potentially dog fighters, baiters and wildlife criminals. An infamous quote being that their biggest issue for dog fighters is getting enough bait dogs. I know yoi it friend is unwell but she must see sense. This poor dog is in danger of horrific abuse.

Hi, I have worked for a large UK charity in a role where rehoming dogs in scenarios like this was part of my job.
As her friend, I would strongly advise you to get her to rehome the dog as illness aside, she is being extremely neglectful and the longer the dog stays with her the more damage is being done, for a future owner to undo/setting the dog up for a miserable life.
Mentally, most dogs move on. I'd say it took most of the dogs I dealt with about 48hrs to forget their previous owner and they were just as happy with the next person who fed and cared for them! For the most part, dogs live in the moment.
As a past survivor of severe depression, I totally empathise with the nature of what she's dealing with, but her priorities should be with herself and her children right now.
If I could have one wish when I worked in this field, it would be that people with babies and very young children with no support, did not get a dog. It's too much for 99% of them.
Please contact the breeder and ask whether they will take it back first.
FWIW, I don't think the Cinnamon Trust as mentioned in PP Is the answer here-it needs to be a long term solution, also JRT x are highly strung, have boundless energy and need a ton of exercise.
You are a lovely friend.

So regarding the breeder no chance of the dog behind taken back. She bought he dog on gumtree and the sellers have since deleted their profile.

And yes I agree the dog is highly strung and boundless energy

Feel so sorry for the poor thing, thank you for all you’re trying to do for him. Have you managed to speak to your friend about how recouping costs shouldn’t be the main priority but instead getting him into a safe rescue space, where he can be trained/assessed etc. Terriers are working dogs predominantly and the fact this little one hasn’t been given so much as any mental stimulation, or attention for the first year of its life (and coming from a backyard breeder) doesn’t help. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s not housetrained if he doesn’t have some form of behavioural problems unfortunately and selling him on doesn’t mean the problem ends there whereas with a rescue they can do by him appropriately and place him somewhere knowledgeable. All need mental stimulation but working dogs they need a job and they need significantly more to keep happy because they’re so intelligent and raring to go - probably as to why he’s so high strung, his breed characteristics and the fact he’s never been given a chance or the environment as to where he can work off some energy in a healthy way being so young!

OP if the dog has been toileting in the house then does that mean the kids have been living in dog mess? Is she receiving support from her GP at all?
Agree that a rescue is the better outcome as JRT are often sold for fighting.

It's not animal abuse, it's called life.
A dog is just a pet your friend comes first don't let people on here make your friend feel guilty.
People always come first so her health and children are first and foremost.
Cinnamon walk for the elderly don't know people on here always recommend them.

I guarantee the dog is making your friends depression worse.

Probably best too rehome.

The dog is almost definitely making her depression worse and slowing her recovery yes

Essentially yes, and a poo stained carper where she's picked the poo up but it's stained

She sort of leaves the wee on the kitchen floor until it like evaporates. She doesn't have the strength to clean it. They all walk around the urine puddles

@Colliemad79 of course it’s abuse. It’s a young dog that needs exercise, training, socialising and it’s locked in a house with someone who doesn’t get out of bed. It has to do its business in the house and god knows if it’s even fed regularly. Although it may not be intentional she is ruining that dog and she had had depression episodes like this for years so she should have known better than to get a puppy. She is also neglecting her children by making them live around dog pee and poo. It’s all fine saying poor her, she’s doing as well as she can, but there is a lot of damage being done here because of her and that is so far from being ok when something can be done about it, at least for the dog in this first instance.

@Anon645 I know it’s not your problem, but her children need some sort of intervention, this is serious neglect if they're walking around poo stains/urine puddles.

Do you know her family at all to contact? Otherwise SS needs to get involved.

She sort of leaves the wee on the kitchen floor until it like evaporates. She doesn't have the strength to clean it. They all walk around the urine puddles

This is a dreadful situation OP.

OP, I can't tell if you realise that this is child neglect. The kids could get seriously ill from this. She needs serious help and support, have you considered ringing social services?

I used to volunteer when I had more time - I did walk for people who weren’t all elderly on a case by case basis when they really showed requirements of needing help, such as with illness/DP bereavement until people got back on their feet. May be different area to area though

with every update, the situation gets worse.

Please call social services and get help for the children (and dog).

I would be calling social services

Yes. I find it hard to believe that this is a real post, but if true the OP needs to get social services involved and get the dog out of there.

Someone is coming to view her dog this afternoon.