Struggling with my dogs barking - help please

[B2210]

My dog is damaging my mental health and I’m struggling to cope with him

So I know this isn’t the dogs fault, this is my fault but I am really starting to struggle with him. It’s mainly his barking that I’m finding really difficult but to give the full picture he was diagnosed with idiopathic epilepsy nearly a year ago. He’s never had a grand mal seizure, it’s more like a series of tics/twitches and fly snapping episodes.

He’s on medication at nearly £100 a month, thankfully the insurance covers it. Trying to work out his triggers and what dietary changes to make is exhausting, nothing seems to make a difference.
And I’ve sort of convinced myself that I’ve caused this, I’ve read it can be caused by stress and I suffered with ppd after my child (now 3) was born and basically spent the first 6 months in tears or shouting. The dog has always been really sensitive to moods in general and I can’t get it out my head that I’ve stressed him so much I’ve basically caused his epilepsy.

He also tolerates our toddler but isn’t keen and spends a lot of the day staying upstairs out the way which makes me so sad for him. And we’re super strict with our toddler, she’s not allowed to go near his bed, bowls etc and only strokes him when he comes to her, which is very rare but he’s still not keen.

Furthermore we’re struggling to afford a decent diet for him, especially given his epilepsy and we’re paying £100 a month for his food which we can’t sustain.

So there’s the guilt and just the issues managing his life and medication/timings (sort of trapped in a bit as he has three dosages of tablets so can’t leave him for long at all)

Then there’s the barking, he’s always been vocal but it’s getting worse and worse and I’m not sure why. I’m currently undergoing an adhd assessment and have always found noises triggering but this is really getting worse. I try so hard not to shout at him to stop but sometimes I just lose it. And then I feel terrible, so the cycle of just feeling like we’re not good enough for him continues.

We live on a busy street (and can’t afford to move) so everything sets him off. The barking I find hardest is when friends/family visit, I know he’s just excited but he barks constantly for their attention and this can go on well after they’ve first come in, 20 minutes or more or if he stops barking he’ll whinge at them and bark intermittently
And that combined with the general noise of a toddler in a tiny 2 up to down terrace on a busy road is a lot sometimes.

I’m not entirely sure what I want from this post, maybe just to air out my feelings.
If anyone has any idea what might help the barking that would be amazing!

Thanks 💙

If he spends a lot of his day alone and upstairs, is he managing to get the mental stimulation, attention, affection and exercise that he needs?

A happy dog is a tired dog, but a dog hides away alone because of a toddler is probably going to be bored stiff - so of course when anything new or different happens, he's going to be super excited and not be able to contain himself.

I would be looking at his routine, levels of exercise and the amount of time he gets with you. Does he go to any classes for example, or get any training sessions?

How much walking/stimulation/time is he getting spent with him, problematic behaviour is almost always a symptom of unmet needs

You say your dogs barking is damaging your mental health I think you should consider what has happened to your dogs mental health and they are not in a position to change their circumstances.
its not a case of finding a fix for the barking i suspect the barking is the only outlet for stress your dog has. You need to change the way your dog is living or consider wether you should have a dog.
sorry if that sounds harsh and I’m sure you didn’t want to get in to this position but i think from what you have written that you already know all this.
You need to do what’s right for your dog and your family.

Why can't you gate off your kitchen? Segregation for your ddog must be awful for him. Least a baby gate he could see what's going on.. It isn't sustainable long term. Poor thing.

Surrender the dog. The dog and you both deserve better.

I work from home so he’s with me most of the day as our toddler is at nursery. He gets an hour to hour and a half walk a day, sometimes split into two shorter walks.

We did all the puppy classes when he was younger but hadn’t thought about signing him for some now as he’s 5 but thanks, that’s something to look into.

I do him a licki mat each day and he has chews etc.

It’s all open plan downstairs and the kitchen area is tiny, literally the size of a bathroom. But I hadn’t thought of gating off another area so that’s an idea thanks

Honestly I had thought about it but who’s going to want to take on a dog with epilepsy. And I do love him, I’m hoping with some changes and help we can make him happier, it’s just hard at the moment and the added financial stress is not easy.

Let him go to a family who can give him
the best life

I work from home so he’s with me most of the day as our toddler is at nursery. He gets an hour to hour and a half walk a day, sometimes split into two shorter walks.

Ah okay, it's just you said in your OP he took himself off upstairs all day which made it sound like he never spent any time with you.

What breed is he? There could be an activity or type of sport someone could recommend if he's otherwise fit and healthy. I would also maybe look at some kind of scent work - hiding treats in the garden or house for him to find, or even add it into your walks if you can.

You should rehome the dog as he’s clearly stressed, bored and hiding away.

What quality of life is that ?

Can you get a walker to take him out for at least an hour ? If not,
Can you take him out for at least an hour so he gets rid of some of the lent up energy ?

Sounds harsh but why have a dog when you can’t cater to their needs ?

Sorry yes I re_read my original post just now and realised I didn’t word it very well, it’s more the evenings and weekends he takes himself off.

Hes a dachshund (hence the barking). Exercise can trigger his episode re epilepsy so we have to be careful but scent work is a great shout, I’ll look into that further

Remember your toddler won't be little forever.. My df had a Red Setter with epilepsy.. She was daft as a brush. But df made it work. He actually loved that ddog more than me. Divorced dps. He kept the ddog. Dm got me.
Even at 9 my dc still gets the ddoggy rules chanted... Leave them alone if they are asleep /eating. Don't feed them at the table! They have a great bond. Best friends..

He does get walked, I should have been clearer in my first post, I work from home so I walk for an hour, an hour and a half each day it’s more the evenings and weekends I struggle with the barking and he’s off upstairs.
And I am trying to cater to his needs, that’s the point of his post, I’m just struggling at the minute and am hoping for some help and advice to try and improve things for him.

Dachshunds are notoriously barky. I know. We have one. We're trying to treat train him out of it. About 50% success rate at the minute.
Not sure about yours taking himself away. Dachsunds are velcro dogs, mines never taken himself off somewhere else.
We play a lot of fetch with a ball so if he's getting himself worked up we just play ball and he calms down.
Understand where you're coming from though- cute dogs but not for everyone.

Please give him up