Getting in a tizzy with training

[OnlyHerefortheBiscuits]

First time dog owner - got her two weeks ago when she was 13 weeks. I really don't want to screw her up! I want to raise a nice dog that other people are happy to be around.

I've been getting into a tizz about obedience training... the urgency of it... how you must do lots and lots of training every day to quickly implement certain behaviours asap.

This thinking has driven by lots of online reading and watching trainers' videos, to be honest.

I think she has been picking up on my stress about it. That's not good for her either, right? I want to chill out, pick one or two things only (recall and sit-stay-break) ... but to not be so neurotic about it? And instead make my main focus for now building a relationship and engagement with her to the point where she wants my approval...and from there I can train. Plenty of time to train no jumping up at people, no pulling on leash, no barging through doors before me, go to a 'place' command etc...right?

Does that sound like a healthy place to be two weeks in with a 15 week old puppy? What do you wish someone would have told you at this stage?

Honestly, I think you should have started training already. Loose leash walking, recall, sit, down, stay, wait etc. Train her using her meals - so instead of letting her have meals from a bowl, have the food that would constitute her meal in your hand and train her that way.

Depending on your breed, wanting approval from your puppy likely won't work as a training method. Particular breeds are very stubborn. It's also your duty to train your puppy not to jump up etc - not wait for your pup to decide she doesn't want to because she wants your approval. Tbh I think if you don't snap into training sharpish you're going to have a fight on your hand. There is a good reason why trainers say you start from Day 1.

You don't need to do loads and loads of training every day, so I don't think you should stress over it. However, I don't really understand what you are saying about not doing any training until your puppy wants your approval. If you do that you are just going to end up with a really impolite dog. It's entirely possible to build your relationship at the same time as doing training.

Training is just consistency. Do a little bit, but do it every day. Your puppy doesn't need to learn everything all at once, but start the building blocks now. The most important ones very early on are things like getting your dog's attention (meaning getting them to focus on you, which allows you to give another instruction, or focus them away from something else).

Find a puppy class. It's good socialisation and as a first time owner, the trainer will help you with how to consistently train. A lot of bad behaviour in dogs is actually lack of training of the owner, who ends up reinforcing the wrong thing.

First off, give yourself a break, do your best and do it in a loving and fun way.
You definitely need to get stuck in straight away, sit, stay, recall etc, but you only have to do it for a few minutes at a time, several times a day.
Only do it when your pup is in the mood and always finish on a positive moment. Like if you're not getting a good stay, but can get a strong sit, end your session there, then use a release cue, we say ok and make a wafting gesture, and Brodie knows he's free to go. We were told in training to use body language as much as cues and it does work. Keep it short and simple, and even if you think you've had a bad session some things will have stuck.
I wish I'd been told to be more patient and relaxed...it takes a long time and really doesn't happen overnight.
Don't google, or google with a pinch of salt...everything has a 50/50 split with some VERY strong opinions. To worm or not to worm...kibble vs raw for example, and you really don't need to know that the whole world managed to house train their dogs in 2 weeks when yours is still peeing under the table after a month...
Puppies are hard work and horrible at times, but try to enjoy the ride 😊.

Few stuff I wish I knew but that I actually picked up as I went:

Instead of thinking "train NOT to jump", I think you should just make sure jumping doesn't happen in the first place.
It's not training per se, it's management and control of the environment.
Training is about reinforcement, a puppy is very good at creating their own reinforcement, don't let them do that.

Don't think of training as something purely sequential, whereby all things need to happen in a certain order.

Also don't think that training is giving commands and expecting the dog to execute. Most training is shaping the behaviour that you want and it's way more subtle than giving a cue.

For example, take recall training:
You want the dog to come back when you call them. Perfectly fine. They're back, they have a treat. Bim. Recall done.
But none of that will prevent the dog from running away, staying behind, running to other dogs etc...Sure, they come back when asked to, but how annoying it is if you have to spend the walk calling them back. And soon, the dog will have enough too and will just stop coming back.
Instead, think about what does a good walk look like. A dog that can wander around, but always checks on you, a dog that behaves nicely around other dogs etc...Basically, a dog that you don't even have to recall in the first place.
Most of that is trained by engaging with the dog, rewarding eye contact, rewarding checking with you, making yourself the best thing to be around etc...

Think about the dog and the relationship you want and start from there.

Lots of training isn’t a separate activity you do… as in, things like recall, sit, wait, drop etc, I just do during normal play/feeding/interactions so it’s not time consuming because you just build them in to time you’re spending with them anyway.

Some of the other stuff you mention, tbh, you do want to do immediately really, loose lead walking not jumping up, they’re really hard to fix later if you let them practise the “bad” behaviour.

But - you won’t screw her up, it’s just that if you put stuff off it’ll end up taking longer, it’s not the end of the world

Both my current dogs pull on the lead because they came with more urgent issues and I put it off, do I wish I’d done it straight away? Well yes, it’d make my life easier… is it a huge issue in the big scheme of things? No, it really only affects me, so… no big deal really

Thanks for the input so far!

Absolutely! We've already started a few bits at home and we are already signed up to puppy training at the local park and doing a six week course. However, my worry is that this isn't enough and isn't going to be enough to teach her everything she needs to learn... and FAST! We only did a "this way" follow me type command on the leash last week at class... and that's 1/5 gone. At home I am only managing to cram into her poor little overloaded brain:

1. sit
2. stay (in various forms.. chicken on floor... over door threshold while I increase distance, duration, distractions)
3. break - usually a release from stay
4. recall - I randomly test this throughout the day whenever she is in another part of the house
5. paw - as this is a basis for muddy paw wiping! Might also help the groomer too...

Those five above have varying levels of success when outside/in another house.

Is this enough, though?

Also she CAN'T heel yet... so when I walk her she is pulling. Is taking her for walks reinforcing pulling? But I need to walk her! Same with jumping... but I need to socialise her.

I was definitely getting stressed over these training videos with people demonstrating how to train a dog to do various obedience commands... with a dog that is already doing it FFS.

If they demonstrate with a dog who can't do it yet, that dog has AMAZING engagement - staring at the trainer desperate for communication! My puppy and I barely know each other and we're still working at this whole engagement thing 😥

Is she treat motivated, OP? Lose lead walking is very easy if the dog is treat motivated! Admittedly, much harder if they're not...

If she jumps, divert her away with a treat or a toy and don't let whoever has encouraged her keep encouraging her - you may need to be quite firm or sharp with them as I find some people are truly awful and think it's all a game and even when you ask them to stop, they continue!!!.

Make her sit before she greets anyone and keep a treat to hand to divert her away if she even starts to jump - you have to move before she does. Eventually you'll pick up on the cues she gives before she jumps (one of mine bum shuffles...). It takes time. But it is about diverting her away. If people fuss her or engage when she jumps up, that's when the problems start as she will begin to think it's a big game.

Hope that helps!

“Also she CAN'T heel yet... so when I walk her she is pulling. Is taking her for walks reinforcing pulling? But I need to walk her! Same with jumping... but I need to socialise her.”

I mean… yes and no 😂 helpful

She’s a puppy so walking is mostly about being out, not actual exercise - so you want her to at least be introduced to the concept of walking next to you, start inside and then in the garden then either do a learn to do nice walking beside you walk where that’s the whole point of the walk rather than getting somewhere every so often or do five minutes on a normal walk, at whichever point of it you think she’ll focus best.

Jumping up - make sure nobody is giving her attention for it, and they wait till she’s on the ground - if they’re not on board with that, keep her further back from them, getting her to sit to greet people can work as well

Do you go to any training classes? I would really recommend that.

Training should just be part of the daily routine.

One of the best things you can do with your puppy is to use their mealtimes as training times.

Have their food in your hand and throw the food a bit away from you (not far she is just a baby) she will go to eat the food let her eat it and say "yes" and then give her food from your hand.
Do this for all her meal times and you will have a dog focused on you and recall pretty much sussed. Soon you will be able to lob the food quite a distance and she will charge back to you for the next bit of food. When she is good at this at home you can take it to areas that are busier and she will focus on you when out and about.

For heelwork use some of her daily food allowance and just walk up the garden and drop a piece of food onto the floor by your feet. Do this every day and very soon your puppy will walk beside you in the garden and you have begun to sort out your heelwork.

Re "this way" on a walk just say this way change direction and feed on her turn. Do this twice on every walk and she will have cracked it in a week. Start doing this way with more distractions around you and all sorted.

Are you sure you want to teach paw ?

Firstly - breathe! I can feel the stress from your posts and honestly, it won't be helping either of you.

Your key focus right now should be socialisation - going out and getting her to experience as many positive things as possible. That doesn't mean cramming hundreds of experiences into a day, but just making sure that everything she experiences is good.

And part of that will naturally include training - for example, you'll be working on stopping her from jumping at people or other dogs, getting her to sit calmly if she wants a fuss or a treat, walking nicely on her lead etc.

You won't get it all done in the next week or even the next month or year - and you shouldn't expect to. It can take months to proof all these behaviours, if not longer. Just be consistent and patient, and you'll get there eventually. As for your relationship with your dog - you'll find that improves naturally the more you work with her.

Out of curiosity why do you say that it all needs to be learnt FAST?

Youre going to be training the dog for years, nothing happens overnight.

Plus once you have trained them, the teenage time kicks in and it’s almost like starting from square one.

I understand wanting a well trained dog but your stress seems to be coming from wanting it all to happen now and that’s just not a reasonable expectation. You’re going to set yourself up for failure/disappointment if you think you’re going to have a puppy who can walk to heal, recall, sit, stay etc within a matter of weeks.

Good foundations take time and you don’t want to rush things. You might be better off booking some 1-2-1 dog training sessions so that they can tailor make a plan for you with regular check ins.

Dog trainer who teaches puppy classes. At that age it should be all about building engagement and focus on you, so lots of fun, short training sessions in lots of different environments. I would focus on things like teaching her a hand target (folllow your hand - treat). Little bits of recall with big celebration when she comes back to you. Lured sit and lured down. Tiny little bits of stay. Games like follow my leader (lots of changes of direction/pace - treat and fuss when she catches up with you). I absolutely would not be teaching structured walking on a short leash - little pups should be free to explore, I would always walk them on a long line or long loose leash, and focus on getting them to follow you/want to be with you in between giving them freedom to explore their environment. Structured walking and more serious obedience can be taught later once you've got the foundations of a good relationship in place

I would get her to puppy classes.
Personally I’d I don’t want an adult dog to do it I don’t let a puppy do it, so a 12 week old puppy jumping up and pulling on the lead might not seem like an issue but it is for a big dog, and it’s much easier to fix at this stage. It will take time but consistency is so important. If you are really hot on no pulling on one walk but can’t be bothered with it the next they really will have no idea what is expected