New Nighttime separation anxiety

[Losingmymind85]

Hi all

Back again for advice on our just turned one year old whippet.
His separation anxiety is specific to being with us in the house. If he's left alone when we go out, he's totally fine, but he needs to be with you or touching you ALL THE TIME if in the house with you.
We'd got into a really good routine (with a few hiccups) of him being settled with us during the day and then going to his own bed downstairs at night where he would sleep through no problem.
A few weeks ago, we were on holiday and left him with our friends. They let him sleep in bed with them at night (no judgement-they had to do what was best for them and we're super grateful as doggo wouldn't have coped boarding).
Since he's been back, he will whine and howl at night for hours. I'm going down and settling regularly but the last three nights he's howled/whined for most of the night.
Last night he started at 130am (went to bed without a fuss as tired) stopped at 330am (after getting so stressed he pood in the house) and started back up again at 530. This is better than the previous two nights but still not great for the wee soul as he's obviously really distressed.
We can't have him in our room in his bed. No matter how close he is, it's never close enough and he'll howl to be in bed with us even if he's right next to us. I'm a really light sleeper and I don't want to share with a long-legged night ninja.
The same issue occurs if we have him anywhere upstairs. It'll never be close enough.
We can't get another dog for company as simply can't afford it.
I've bought a calming diffuser which will hopefully be delivered tomorrow but any advice on how I can get him back to being ok being alone just at night?
Thanks

Admit defeat... Ddog bed in your room or a blanket on your bed... When our lurcher had surgery she slept on dh's pillow.. 6 ft 4 dh slept on our 2 seater couch!! She has other ddogs to sleep with now so no issue.
What about a huge soft toy? Or super soft fleece blanket?

You can either submit or go back to basics and start the training again (which is what I'd do).

Teach the dog is safe eventually happy to be on its tod for short periods. Send the dog to it's bed and teach a settle command. Use it regularly every day such as when you're eating, cooking, hoovering, whatever task you need to do without a dog trying to climb onto your shoulder. Build back up to using this at night time.

You could also consider crate training - never used as a punishment, only used as a safe place for him to chill out and get rest so he associates it with relaxation and peace.

Remember at a year old, he's a teenager and they like to challenge boundaries again at this age. Recall often disappears, commands forgotten - so go back to the beginning, but hopefully you can do it much quicker this time as they already know what you actually want, they just don't want to do it!

If you don't want him in your bed or your room, then you'll have to go back to basics and do separation training all over again.

And next time you go away, look for an alternative where he won't be allowed to sleep in the bed 😉

I think that, unfortunately, your dog had SA to start with. You went away. The person who looked after him had him in their bed and he's latched onto that. I don't see this being fixed without a very good behaviourist and a lot of money/time spent on it.

I've fostered dogs with SA before and once they learn there is a way to get past their fears (sleep in a bed with you, follow you to the toilet) it's really hard to train them out of it. You could spend a fortune on nice covers, defusers etc - none of that will help.

But you categorically cannot leave a dog screaming and crying for hours. This can cause damage to his throat - on top of the obvious stress he is under. It can also lead to further problems - pacing, reactivity. And the longer you do that at night, the worse it is going to get. This isn't like training a puppy who cries a bit the first night and then learns - this is ingrained behaviour from a stressed dog.

He's not being left for hours. I wouldn't do that to him.
He was crate trained at the start but around 9 months got really, really anxious in it. I may bring it back out to see if it helps. I'll go back to settle training. He's currently nestled behind my back on a chair so I'll get his bed out and make a start today.
Poor pup.