Getting a 2nd dog - is it the right thing?!

[cockermum01]

Good morning!

we have a lovely working cocker - coming up for 2 years old - so just about starting to calm down (as if WCS ever do😂)

a 2nd dog wasn’t on the radar (we have two young primary age kids) however we recently went on holiday, and when we were away our little dog stayed with our family member that has 2 labradors and a little terrier cross type companion dog.

he became especially bonded with the younger lab who is about the same age and they just played all day.

when we came home he was sad for a few days and now he is just so naughty! Boredom naughty, stealing food, shoes, toys. With that look that says come and chase me then 😁so we think he’s possibly missing the company of a similar natured dog.

would we be mad? Someone I know mentioned a cockerpoo (mostly spaniel about 3/4) they know whose owner has another dog that won’t take to him at all and so she sadly wants to rehome him. He is just under a year old, trained, so seemingly easier than getting a young pup.

please tell me your stories good and bad before we arrange to view and fall in love!

To add - he gets lots of exercise and we work from home, nothing has changed there and he wasn’t so naughty / bored before he got used to having other dogs around

I think the main thing is to be realistic: What will you do if it goes wrong? Because, being frank, it can go horribly wrong. We're not just talking biting or snapping - full blown fights with serious injuries are not unusual.

Adult dogs being rehomed with adult dogs is messy (I've done it). Even if they're both lovely and relaxed dogs with no behavioural issues, you can just never be sure.

I would never touch a private rehome. People lie. Quite frankly, if this dog is only a year old, I'd be interested to know 'other dog won't take to it' means. A 10 months is a long time to leave a dog in an environment where the existing dog does not like it. Do they mean the existing dog is just crabby? Or is the other dog attacking it (If so, you can expect serious behavioural issues with the one being rehomed tbh). Tbh, either way I would expect some behavioural issues given its not had a stable/loving start with another dog. The fact they left both the dogs to suffer so long probably means they're crap owners tbh. So, you'd be insane to go there.

You have two young children - so a rescue likely won't rehome anyway (for VERY good reasons). So if a rescue wouldn't, a private rehome is an even worse idea.

Honestly, if you want to consider it, think about a puppy. But it is HARD work (I'm just coming out the other side with a 10 year old cocker, a 7 year old Dalmatian and a 18 month old golden). It was bloody hard work but worth it.

I would be very very wary of private rehomes.
There is absolutely not support if it goes wrong/the dog is a bad fit.
I’d be wary of “dog not taking to it” the rehomed dog could have spent a year being bullied by this other dog and could have quite serious issues caused by this that may come out in the wash.

Do you actually want a second dog?
I’ve got two, it’s so much harder with regards to going away (loads of dog friendly places only want one dog).
They tend to bring out the worst in each other rather than mirror the good behaviours.
It’s more expensive.
He may hate the new dog. My mums dog simply cannot be in the same building as my two dogs (all neutered), but shares quite happily with most other dogs.

Really good points thank you.

yes you’re right - I hadn’t thought about how the new dog might be if he’s had the older dog he lives with being grumpy. I do think it’s only grumpiness not anything more but like you say how can we know that for sure with a private rehome.

I am also wary that if it doesn’t work out I wouldn’t want to rehome the poor pup for yet another time in his short life.

I do also worry about bad habits - our cocker is not a barker so if we got a new one that was it’d be quite annoying if he then became a noisy dog, for example!

If you're going to get another dog, please don't do it via a private re-home. The risks of it going wrong are massive and you have absolutely no support if they don't get along and you can't keep him/her.

Also, there is a huge different between your dog getting along with another dog in their home, and your dog sharing its' own home and resources 24/7.

My dog loves going to visit friends with dogs but that's nothing like having them around 24/7 and having to share toys, beds etc.

Only get a second dog if you really want one and if you're willing and able to handle the extra work that comes with two, especially if they don't get along or can't be walked together.

I had always had 2 dogs following death of older dog .Family member told me of a same breed 18 week old female needing rehomed as older dog wouldn't accept it .
They had only had dog 8 weeks and were really experienced dog owners actually running a kennel .
The older dog had attacked the pup getting more aggressive each time .
It had been accepted by their other dog so not all its experiences had been bad.
I was so stupid that I thought that time wouldn't have impacted on how the dog would see other dogs , let alone getting a 2nd female dog .Don't they are real fights between 2 bitches.
I love this dog but what a work we have put into her reaction to other dogs, time, energy and money for behaviourist .
She is the 3rd of that breed ive had so I felt I knew what to expect .
I think our older dog had a much harder time with her being there as well and if had time again never would have taken her
And that was only after 8 weeks not 10 months of something isn't working out here .
She's an only dog because I don't want her anxiety being what new dog sees as norm .
She is the best dog I've had in terms of recall and training and so many tricks ..we regard it as a win that she can walk past another dog without lunching and snarling now .
That's what being attacked by another dog for 8 weeks taught her get in first cos I'm terrified.
Sorry for huge post if you want another dog get one but I would get a pup

Best advice I can ever give a client who asks this…….NEVER buy a pet for your dog. Only consider it if it’s what you want for yourself

There is a huge difference for your dog to have playmates for a few days on neutral territory than to have to share your home and your humans 24/7, so he may not even like it.

Isn't it more likely that the new behaviour is him working out a new way to get your attention? Perhaps one he learnt from the other dogs or your family members?

My dog used to board with 2 dogs he adored, and is generally very dog social and enjoys a good play. I thought for ages about getting him another dog but decided not to for all the reasons stated. He's very content at home being an only dog, I don't really want another one for logistical reasons at this time. I'm sure if it was the right dog he would be happy, but he's happy now, and if it was the wrong dog we would both be more unhappy. I'm sure yours will settle down soon but second the comments to only get another dog if you want one.

I have two WCS ,(now 8 and 5, had both from puppies) and I honestly wouldn't recommend it in your circumstances. My dogs take a huge amount of time to manage, which I can cope with because I don't have kids but can't imagine it with kids too. I got the second for reasons similar to yours - company for the first dog, loved her so thought more paws = better. In reality it's been a huge management task. Dog 1 - who adored every dog she met out and about and was desperate to meet and play with them - actively hated having a second dog in her house and it took months of very careful management to get her to tolerate him. They get along fine now but I'm sure if she could speak / had a choice she would still send him away!

Dog 2 is a very busy and high energy WCS and has needed huge amounts of training, all of which has to be done in addition to meeting the needs of the existing adult dog.

Basically I have ended up with two dogs with very different and not compatible preferences and it essentially means that I need to treat them like two individual dogs - tailored walks etc. And with a demanding breed like WCS that takes a lot of time.

Two dogs also needs a lot of additional training around resource guarding, sharing treats / toys /beds etc.

And it's incredibly expensive. Every cost is basically doubled. My dogs cost about £450 a month in food, insurance, kennels one day a week, and incidentals like treats, toys, beds, groomer, vet, worming etc. It's a huge extra cost and don't underestimate that.

And finally , worth thinking ahead for the lifespan of the dogs and the things you might want to do - long holidays etc. two dogs are much harder to accommodate than one.

I adore my second dog but I seriously seriously underestimated how much more difficult two dogs would be (I was also married when got both dogs and didn't anticipate managing them both alone...)

I’m so sorry to say this op- when you said you had a dog already (and a so young cocker- we have a 2 yo cocker too), I was about to say ‘oh, they already know what they’re in for’- but getting another dog when your dog has decided to act up seems a bit like a recipe for disaster? Maybe someone will come along and say it’s the right thing and lord knows our neighbour regularly asks would we not get a friend for ours (they’ve always had 2/3 dogs), but I just can’t even fathom what happens if he doesn’t like the other dog or the cause of him acting out now was more because you were away or something!

We had similar thoughts to you about our dog as she loves being around other dogs when she goes to the dog minder if we’re away. We luckily had the opportunity through a local rescue to test it out for a few days with a second dog to see how they got on.

I’m so glad we didn’t commit 100% straight away because it was very clear after the trial period our dog is decidedly an only dog! Although in time the two may have settled, the other dog would have needed a lot of training and walking them together by myself would be impossible. The speed at which our dog picked up the barky habits of the other was amazing too. Our dog can be taken pretty much anywhere without issue and we knew the same couldn’t be said for the second one which would have affected our dog’s quality of life.

Without a crystal ball we came to the conclusion that we would be giving our dog a poorer quality of life for the sake of possibly giving the new dog a chance. As it was, the other dog was quickly rehomed with a much more accommodating pal so it worked out well in the end and our dog has never been happier than the day she left 😆

I'm glad I've read all the advice on here, it validates my decision not to get a second dog! My dh desperatly wants us to get another. He says our schnauzer would really love it as she often seems bored with us. But she goes to doggy daycare three days a week where she loves her gang and has great fun. I couldn't cope with the workload of two dogs, and the expense would be eye watering I suspect. Holidays just wouldn't exist anymore.

We have 2/3 dogs as we're quite doggy and DH in particular is committed to a dog oriented life.
But they are working dogs and in kennels for some of the time, which is very different from having several house pets.
We have found that our dogs enjoy being together and the quality of their lives is enhanced.

We always say that we bought our grieving depressed dog a puppy when his old friend died, but in fact we would have bought a pup anyway. And then we kept a pup from the litter that one of them had.
We wouldn't have had a rescue dog or a privately rehomed adult dog in our circumstances, too much of an unknown quantity and probable pre existing issues.

I have a young lab who is quite hyper. Got a second wee small cross breed and it has been great. Has calmed the lab down so much and the wee one is just a wee sweet heart! We do have a big garden though so can let the two of them out and they play for ages!

Thank you for all the responses!

so much to think about.

whilst ours is acting up a little at the moment he is genuinely a lovely, kind natured little soul and I do worry about something happening that puts him out and we lose that a little. He’s the happiest boy and so friendly lol.

he loves other dogs out and about but like you say might not be so happy with another dog permanently in his space. We’ve had dogs round before and he’s been fine but ultimately they’re here only for a few hours so not long enough for the novelty to wear off and any potential grumpiness/territorial to set in.

holidays are a concern - I’m not sure our friend that has him would take 2 on future holidays so we would likely have to kennel them.

Someone upthread mentioned a "dog oriented life" and I think that's really the key thing about owning multiple dogs. With one dog and 2 adults, it's quite straightforward, but with two or more dogs (and 1 human in my case now) the balance shifts. My life definitely feels dog-oriented, but that's broadly ok for me - I am very much a 'dog person' and I'm ok with shaping my life around them. And a lot depends on your individual circumstances in terms of how easy or difficult it is to manage walks & separate spaces if needed etc. But it's not something to go into without a lot of thought and there are no guarantees that your first dog will be happy or benefit!

Have you thought about putting him in doggy daycare for an occasional day? We used to run one and a few of our regulars were just coming for socialisation. Even if you don't need the time it might be something he'd enjoy.

My original dog, a spaniel, tried to kill the newcomer, a Lab. It took six months for things to calm down. I had to keep them apart. Never again as there are no guarantees. And I am a very experienced owner.

@muddyford oh gosh! That’s so sad.

was the newcomer a pup or rehome?!

We got a second pup when our older one was 2. It was far easier than I ever imagined. The pic in bed is the day we brought pup home.

I'd be wary of adding a 1 year old rather than a pup to the mix though, especially one that is being rehomed as they don't get along with a resident dog they've presumably been with since a puppy.

@tizwozliz oh wow what beautiful dogs!

yes now considering a pup instead - some invaluable advice has been given here 🙏

Pups also aren’t easy, OP. I kept my golden in a different part of my house to my other two for six months. I didn’t introduce them on day one. It’s NOT like YouTube where you put the puppy in a wicker basket and you present it to the adult dog and everything is groovy.

A puppy cannot just be left to entertain the existing dog and visa Versa. You need to give them both one on one time daily. You have to make sure puppy always comes to you because he wants to and not because your existing dog is running to you etc.

It can be done. But please don’t do it as reflex action. Dogs deserve more

@Devilshands oh absolutely - we’ve been umming and ahhing for a while about a puppy, and will continue to think about it until we’re 100%! If we don’t get to 100%, we won’t get one.

interesting to hear about keeping them apart for as long as you did, and definitely a consideration.

puppies are indeed hard work and to be honest I’m not hugely keen on going back to those first few weeks of settling and training etc - I much prefer my dog now he’s more ‘grown up’ (although I don’t think cockers ever fully grow up lol!)

such a difficult decision as it can go one of two ways really, and it’d be awful if it wasn’t the way you hope for!

I have three dogs. I introduced the third when she was nine months old, and she was a private rehome. It worked like a dream, and i haven’t regretted it for a second. Perhaps I was lucky but just wanted to counter the negativity.