Where to begin with becoming dog owners

[CultureAlienationBoredomandDespair]

I was brought up with dogs and have always thought I’d have one as an adult. DH hasn’t but always wanted to. We have lived in rented accommodation up until now, that wouldn’t have been suitable but in about a year we’ll be looking to buy somewhere that will be perfectly located for lengthy walks.

Even though I feel very confident around dogs I realise that my parents and grandparents weren’t the best dog owners, despite loving them very much. Breeds were chosen based on looks and availability and dogs were left alone for for long periods of time and frequently allowed out in the garden to relieve themselves rather than going for a walk (where they’d pull and have poor recall-but never dangerous or snappy).

In short- we want to be better, responsible dog owners and want to use the year or so to research the right breed for us and find out exactly what we should be doing but we don’t really know where to start!

We have DC2 and DC8months, so don’t feel that a rescue would be be the best for us at the moment.

Someone told me to join the fb groups of all the breeds I was interested in and see what real owners complained about a few I left Daschund (lots of bad backs) Tibetan Terrier’s (likely to bite children for first two years) Cockerpoos (bonkers) cavapoo (separation anxiety), basset hounds (almost untrainable) the group I was left with was labradoodles and we have a miniature one we love. If you have cash look at Australian labradoodles which are wonderful. Your situation would be different but if you have a year it’s a good thing to do. Also the kennel club puppy classes and then take them through the bronze - silver - gold route can also recommend the Woofz app to support training at home, it’s expensive so don’t pay then they offer you a cheap deal instead.

Honestly, I think with two under two - even in a year that's 2 under four, you'd be bonkers and there are very few (good) breeders who will sell to anyone with a young child, let alone two. That's simply because it's so hard and very often the digs end up with severe behavioural issues.

It's doable. But you do need to be superwoman to do it - puppies are worse than toddlers. They need near constant supervision. They eat walls - literally, one of mine tried to eat a sodding concrete wall when he was teething. This lasts months. Then, once you're over the bitey-face stage, they move onto barging you out of the way and knocking you over. It's worth it. But it's hard work.

The American Kennel Club website does a very good breed comparator which you can use to narrow down. Be realistic though - don't say you can give an hours exercise every day if you can't etc.

The Kennel Club has a lot of information about dogs and ownership.

And while not perfect, they are a good stating point.
Plus, many training clubs are registered with them and run good citizen dog scheme, which I highly recommend if you get a dog!

www.thekennelclub.org.uk/getting-a-dog/

Ooh I would strongly recommend you wait until your DC are older, at least 5.
Puppies and training a puppy properly is hard work. DH and I grew up around dogs but both hadn't quite realised how hard it was!! Our youngest was 6 at the time, I think I would have had a breakdown if I'd had a toddler and a baby and a puppy! Dog is trained well now but that took effort and time which you're unlikely to have with such young children.

Go to Crufts. They have a Discover Dogs section where you can see different breeds and speak to owners (and it’s a good day out).

Use the next six years to think about it. Your children are too small for a puppy.

Consider the costs carefully. Apart from the initial cost of buying the dog, there are so many, insurance, grooming, kennels, food, vet treatment, cleaning, replacing items they destroy, therapy when they drive you clear around the bend with their behaviour and 24/7 crazyness. I've got a cockerpoo. I wouldn't recommend tbh. 🐶

I would also wait. Toddlers and a puppy aren’t a good mix. Better for kids to be school age.
Crufts Discover Dogs is a good first step.
You need to know what breed traits each breed has. What can you cope with and what is too much? How much grooming and training and daily exercise are you prepared to do? What specialist health tests should parents have prior to breeding? Then contact the breed club of breeds you’re interested in.

We've got a cockerpoo and I'd highly recommend. She's a little sweetheart and hasn't destroyed anything or needed therapy.

But puppies are hard work, go in with eyes wide open. You don't really start to get the dog you imagine till they are 6 months - or really a year old.

We work full time and having a dog only really works because my in laws adore here, come round 3 days a week at at 10am (we leave for work at 9am) and swoop her up and take her for the day - 2 off lead walks - and then drop her back at 5 ish. Dh works from home one day a week as do I.

In the evening we take her out too - more because we want to spend some time with than she needs the exercise.

We waited until our children were school age to get a dog. Children need to be taught how to behave around animals and you can't leave a very young child alone with a dug no matter how gentle it is.
We took ours to puppy class for socialisation, though they vary greatly in quality.
You might want to start with an older housebroken dog. Not many in rescue centres that will let one go to a family with such young children though (even a year from now). I'd wait.

Your DC are far too young, leave it until the youngest is at school at the very least. Genuinely puppies are awful and such hard work for the first few months (It really felt like I had PND!). There’s no way I could’ve coped with small kids at the same time, never mind the inevitable accidents on the floor which would be a health hazard for them or the teething stage (often on their humans) which all pups go through or the bouncing/jumping up stage. It just wouldn’t be safe. DPup (golden retriever so as friendly as they come!) is 18 months now and life is only starting to normalise again, still very full on + high energy though! We are not first time dog owners, I’ve had GRs for my entire adult life but I had definitely forgotten in my ~18 years without a puppy how difficult they were

Second going to crufts and discover dogs.

We got our dog when my youngest was 9months old but weve had dogs our entire life, i still got puppy blues and the anxiety for the 1st few weeks on edge whilst house training was hard.

We picked a breed i wouldnt suggest for 1st time owners, despite being very small, cute and popular. But experience and luck combined and weve had no problem at all with her and shes very good. Its do able, but hard and as much research as you can possibly do

Honestly, my puppy is a right wanker. Don't do it to yourself.

I really really wouldn’t get a puppy and a toddler. There are so many threads on here who have done it against advice and are tearing their hair out.

Even though I feel very confident around dogs I realise that my parents and grandparents weren’t the best dog owners, despite loving them very much. Breeds were chosen based on looks and availability and dogs were left alone for for long periods of time and frequently allowed out in the garden to relieve themselves rather than going for a walk (where they’d pull and have poor recall-but never dangerous or snappy).

I think this sense is very common - the standards we expect of dogs seem to have gone up a great deal in the last generation or so.

The dogs I had growing up in the 90s and 00s belonged to my grandmother, who in turn had learned everything she knew about dogs from her own grandmother. Which took us back to genuinely Victorian dog ownership.

The consequence was dogs that were mostly mild mannered and well socialised, but very poorly trained. As far as we were concerned, if they could do a sit and lie down, then the pinnacle of dog training had been reached. Recall was non-existent - they came back if, and when, they felt like it.

I've carried some things forward (crates? What are those?), improved on some things (like recall) and have accepted that I've probably started with more of a rough diamond than the grandparents did (rescue, trickier breed).

But I do think that public expectations of dogs and their behaviour has increased dramatically in the intervening years, and there is less tolerance in many areas of life (not just with dogs).

We got our first family dog, a Golden Retriever, when our youngest DC was six. I honestly believe that this was a good decision as a child of this age can be taught about the correct behaviour around dogs. The other relevant thing with dogs is that they know that young children can be below them in the pecking order. Never under estimate the intelligence of a dog and the fact that some can be bossy with youngsters.

You should wait @CultureAlienationBoredomandDespair . I can completely recommend a Goldie when you decide the time is right.

I wouldn't even consider any breed of dog until your youngest child is in school.

Puppies take up a lot of time and are a lot of work - they bite, they jump, they chew, they eat things they shouldn't and the pee and poo on the floor. You really don't want to be dealing with all of that while you also have a crawling toddler who puts everything in its' mouth.

I love our dog but he is a huge commitment and when he was younger, he took up a lot of time and sleep. Training, walks, classes, more training and general management is really time-consuming, even when you don't have any DC to worry about as well. Walks with small children are also something to consider - you either need to split them (so one of you walks the dog, one stays home) or you end up having to drag the DC out in the pouring rain etc.

Wait a couple of years. Do your research. Buy a straightforward breed. For God’s sake don’t buy a doodle or a cocker spaniel. Train it. Recall from day one. Expect the behaviour you want as an adult dog from your puppy - don’t expect to allow anything and then to be able to undo it. Realise the enormous impact it will have on your flexibility and ability to be spontaneous. Revel in the joy of having a well trained dog in the house. Enjoy!

Like other posters, I’d wait a few years. Do your research. If you know people with dogs, ask to dog sit them :-) We looked after my friend’s dog for a couple of years and it gave us the flexibility of dog ownership-ish while learning about how a dog would fit in our lives and visa versa.
Our “puppy” is 1 next month. She has added so much joy to our lives, but she is a massive commitment. DP has an injury and physically can’t walk her at the moment so it’s down to me, day in and out, to make sure she is exercised. I’m knackered! We hadn’t thought about that when we brought her home!
She’s very laid back but she needs two walks a day to entertain her, even with games, etc in the house and garden.
Patience - you will get there!

I would wait till the kids are both at school. Puppies and kids are very hard work together !

A puppy and a 2 year old is a terrible idea. Puppies are very bitey, 2 year olds want to grab them. I wouldn't trust any breeder that would sell a dog to someone with 2 very young children. Wait until they are school age.

There are a lot of badly bred neurotic poo's, avoid any brachycephalic breeds and those with known problems such as dachshunds. Be prepared that puppies are extremely hard work.

I had a one year old Labrador when we had our first child, as well as an elderly rescue dog, then with our second child she was 2 when we got our next lab puppy. I don’t recall it being too hard, but then both children were able to be quite sensitive with the dogs (biggest rule of the house is being gentle with the dogs).

It’s been hard work but both kids have really benefited from having dogs, Labradors are excellent with kids, daft enough to make them laugh but soppy enough to cuddle up to. Also robust if a child falls onto them (and intelligent enough to know there’s no intent there).

My ten year old daughter needs our 8yo lab on the bed to sleep each night and this has happened for years, she’s just this lovely calming presence at the bottom of the bed.

The dogs adore the kids, and it’s totally mutual, but then we’re a very doggy household who doesn’t mind a bit of chaos and a chase game involving labs and kids!

IME your worst issue with young DC and a puppy is finding the time to train. We got a puppy (JRT) when our DC were 1, 3 and 5. She always pulled on the lead, but had half-decent recall and was generally a very good dog. The DC were very good with her (used to dogs as the PILs had a small pack of JRTs) and she was, all her life, wonderful with small children. We got the next dog when they were 10, 8 and 6 and honestly I don't think it was any easier - we had even more DC activities to try and fit the dog walk between.

I used to walk her (the JRT) in the morning on the school run and again in the evening when the DC were in bed. This was a bloody nuisance on cold dark winter evenings with horizontal snow, but I always felt better for it.

It's lovely to see that you want to prepare well in advance. I would start by researching potential breeds - even though I own fancy crossbreed it's only because my friend had puppies to sell; I'd never choose to buy one. Champdogs is a good website for finding well bred and health tested puppies. Find out what health tests your chosen breed should have and choose breeder who does them.
Good book to start with is "Easy easy puppy squeezy". Find good puppy class near you.
I second having young children and puppy was a nightmare. Mine was 3 and it was still hard. Puppies can be real landsharks you need eyes in the back of your head. You need to watch them constantly during toilet training. You need to spend good deal of time socialising them and training. Costs are way more than i anticipated - to give you an idea my 10kg dog costs me well over £100 in just insurance, decent food, flea and worm treatment and dog walker once a week when I am.in the office. Groomer every 2 months is £40, plus I groom him at home in between so i had to buy brushes, comb, shampoo etc, nail clippers, toothbrush. Plus bed toys, chews, quality harness, leads, collar, vaccinations. Puppy class was £90 and I did two more classes on top of that. If you need boarding for holidays that's £30 per day where I live.
Even though I thought I was prepared puppy blues hit me and I genuinely regretted getting him, my anxiety was through the roof. I love him to bits but I thank my lucky starts we didn't get him when kids were younger x

Throwing another angle here, when I was 5 months pregnant last year I heard of a ‘failed’ gun dog coming up for rehoming. He failed because he won’t pick up birds! I would never suggest a rescue for a young family, but he wasn’t rescued, we rehomed a very well trained 6 year old working cocker. He had been bought up with children, we went and visited him at home, walked him. He’s turned out to be fantastic , we skipped the puppy pooing and chewing everywhere, got a ready trained pedigree dog. He’s just amazing. Beautiful recall, house trained. Whilst these sort of dogs are a bit like unicorns, there are pages on Facebook dedicated to rehoming gundogs so worth keeping an eye out