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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Really dreading leaving my dog - talk me down please!

36 replies

Justrelax · 21/05/2024 12:16

I got my first dog about 18 months ago. I got her following a tough time in my personal life as I felt like I needed an interest and frankly some more love. It's worked perfectly and I'm absolutely smitten with her. She's the most loving, sweet, wonderful girl and one of the best decisions I've ever made.

We haven't left her yet - only had UK holidays and she's come with us. I went away for work one time for three days and she was apparently a little quiet but fine. She loves all people and will snuggle up to anyone who visits, but is very much my girl. But in a week we're all going away for a full week and I'm absolutely dreading leaving her. Every time she looks up at me with her big eyes I feel like I'm betraying her. I have cried thinking about how she won't know where we've gone or why, or if I'm ever coming back. 😪 She's staying with my close friend and her family while we're away - they don't have dogs but they're really good people and she'll get a lot of love. It'll also mean I can see her if I want to on Facetime (though I think that might confuse or upset her). I know it'll be fine and she'll be fine but I just feel so upset at the idea of leaving her. Despite being excited and having a very 'once in a lifetime' holiday lined up (which is why we're going at all - long awaited!), I also feel genuinely miserable about not getting to hug her or see her for a week. Urgh what's wrong with me.

OP posts:
MuttsNutts · 21/05/2024 12:48

I honestly believe that dogs live pretty much in the moment so as long as she is with someone who will love her and she is comfortable, entertained and cuddled where she is, she will be fine. She won’t be sitting there thinking you’ve deserted her or wondering when or if you’ll be back - dogs don’t think like that IMO. I’d check in with your friend to see how she’s doing but really wouldn’t Facetime as that is likely to confuse and unsettle her if she can see and hear you but can’t get to you.

Just enjoy your holiday and wait for the great welcome you’ll get when you get home.

Dearg · 21/05/2024 12:54

Oh I do understand that feeling.

It sounds like you have chosen well. Good people who will be kind to her. Obviously take her own bed, toys etc. I also sent my dog to kennels with a pillow, wrapped in a t-shirt I had slept in for a week. Nice!

Just remind yourself that she has a pretty good life, knows she is loved, and will cope. Imagine the joy when you pick her up,

FastFood · 21/05/2024 14:24

I totally relate to that - hate leaving my dog too.
Mine has separation anxiety and is hyper attached to me (well, we're both afflicted if I'm honest).

Anyway I left him several times, and he's always been more than fine. At the beginning he used to cry a bit, now he doesn't anymore. People who have looked after him all reported a happy little chap.

She won't feel betrayed I swear.
In my experience, the thought of leaving them is 100x worse than actually leaving them. Within a few hours, you'll be enjoying your trip! And then you'll be happy to go back and get her back. Ideal.

Floralnomad · 21/05/2024 14:34

I’m sure your dog will be fine and if you want holidays etc then it’s best to just crack on and the dog will cope fine . However I disagree with people who say as long as they are lived and looked after they don’t care , our dog is nearly 14 and if I even go out for an evening , which I do fairly regularly, he is really unsettled until I get home , even though my husband sticks to the same routine that I do .

Devilshands · 21/05/2024 14:35

Just remember your dog is staying with people you 100% trust to look after her properly - that makes a world of difference to a dog. She's not being dumped in a kennels and only let out for an hour or two a day. She's going to have full run of a house, people to fuss her (and probably overfeed her). She'll miss you, of course she will, but she'll be okay.

HaystackHair · 21/05/2024 14:37

Think of it as doing her a favour, so she is well prepared if you ever have to go away or to hospital.

If you're going to be upset, I'd get someone else to drop her off so you don't worry her (and yourself).

WhatInFreshHell · 21/05/2024 14:44

It's a dog....it doesn't have human emotions. It won't realise you're not there until you get back. Ridiculous. It's an animal. Get a grip

HaystackHair · 21/05/2024 14:58

WhatInFreshHell · 21/05/2024 14:44

It's a dog....it doesn't have human emotions. It won't realise you're not there until you get back. Ridiculous. It's an animal. Get a grip

Helpful Hmm

somethingisnotquiteright · 21/05/2024 15:17

WhatInFreshHell · 21/05/2024 14:44

It's a dog....it doesn't have human emotions. It won't realise you're not there until you get back. Ridiculous. It's an animal. Get a grip

This!

I don't even get that upset when I have to leave my kids for a week! 😂

OP, your dog will be fine. Mine loves going to stay with other people. Yes we miss him but not a disproportionate amount!

newbathroomtiles · 21/05/2024 15:39

I know exactly how you feel. Leaving our 19 month old for 12 nights next month.

We've never left him before either but in the same way as you, know he's going to good people who will care for him well and continue with his training until we're back.

I just keep thinking about him sat there wondering where we've gone.

pigsDOfly · 21/05/2024 15:49

If dogs aren't bothered by being left why does my neighbour's dog bark and whimper from the moment she (owner) leaves the house until she returns? And, trust me, that can be from early morning until late at night if she's away that long.

Of course dogs have emotions and feeling about being left but you are leaving your dog with someone who you know and trust to care for her.

I rarely leave my 13 year old dog but when I do she goes into to kennels as I have no one else to leave her with.

I searched for the best kennels I felt happy with, it's not ideal but she copes and although can be a bit quiet for a few days after I pick her up she's soon back to normal.

OP your dog will be fine. Go and enjoy your holiday but I agree with pp don't face time with her it'll only confuse her.

Churchview · 21/05/2024 16:04

I know how you feel OP. We were so attached to our dog that we never went away without her and had dog friendly holidays for over a decade. Seems like you're committed this time, it's only a week and if it's too miserable for you then you don't have to do it again.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 21/05/2024 16:14

Thought you were going to say she was booked into kennels. Staying with friends, I'd be more concerned they'd spoil her rotten, let her sleep on the bed and acquire all kinds of new bad habits.

Enjoy your break. She will have a lovely time and it's only a week. I took my cats to a lovely cattery recently for a long weekend and there was a cat there who's owner was in the forces and overseas for 6 months. I felt so sorry for the cat, no cattery is THAT nice.

If you are really bricking it, treat her like a child going to nursery and see if she can do short sessions with them before you go. Drop off dog, go and get a coffee, read a chapter of a book go back. Take her for a walk with a member of the family leading her and teach them what she likes and doesn't like.

Floralnomad · 21/05/2024 16:19

WhatInFreshHell · 21/05/2024 14:44

It's a dog....it doesn't have human emotions. It won't realise you're not there until you get back. Ridiculous. It's an animal. Get a grip

This is just rubbish , as I said in my post my dog knows exactly who is home and who isn’t and doesn’t settle until I’m in .

chattyness · 21/05/2024 16:21

Ignore the mean comments OP, some folk just have to be petty minded. Dogs do know when you're not there and they do miss you, but be reassured by the fact that you're leaving her with good friends who you know will take good care of her, so I'm sure she'll be fine . Can you leave her with a jumper you've worn so that your smell is on it, this may be comforting for her to snuggle into at night time.
I understand how you feel, we never go anywhere that we can't take our dog, not because we can't leave him, but because we don't want to. Enjoy your holiday

Nicelynicelyjohnson · 21/05/2024 16:22

WhatInFreshHell · 21/05/2024 14:44

It's a dog....it doesn't have human emotions. It won't realise you're not there until you get back. Ridiculous. It's an animal. Get a grip

The post is in the Doghouse section. You can ignore it if that's how you feel.

I get you OP, but it sounds like you've a good plan in place and you can enjoy your holiday and then enjoy seeing your dog again.

mitogoshi · 21/05/2024 16:32

I was worried at first but to be honest he was absolutely in kennels, we chose a small one that only took 12 dogs and ran than off lead on private land, owner let him into the house too as he was well behaved. He coped just fine

DirtyCheeseBurger · 21/05/2024 16:36

I felt like this the first time my lovely girl went to kennels. She's super loving and attached to us, but mostly me. She follows me around and sits at my feet as I work.

But It's a wonderful Kennels. She's on four walks a day. She had a great time and She couldn't wait to get back inside every time we've been since. ....

Original poster
Justrelax · 21/05/2024 16:59

Thank you all for the very reassuring and (mostly!) very kind messages. You've made me feel a lot better. It'll be lovely to see her again afterwards. I like the idea of sending something that smells like me for her to cuddle up to. She actually generally copes very well when I go out and does get left for evenings here and there - no whining etc, though I know she much prefers company - so chances are she'll be fine and there's likely to be someone around with her the whole time as well. I'm just being silly but I hate the idea that she could think I've gone away and given her to a new family...

She doesn't know the people all that well but has met them a few times and I am confident they'll be absolutely lovely to her. I also know she's a total cuddle bug and will be all over them! Thank you again. I keep hugging her and getting all emotional.

OP posts:
longdistanceclaraclara · 21/05/2024 17:34

She'll have the time of her life and think how happy she'll be to see you.

We only holidayed in Europe (driving) when we had ddog but I did leave him with my mum when we had a wedding or event to go to. He always got excited about that.

longdistanceclaraclara · 21/05/2024 17:42

She'll have the time of her life and think how happy she'll be to see you.

We only holidayed in Europe (driving) when we had ddog but I did leave him with my mum when we had a wedding or event to go to. He always got excited about that.

Elieza · 21/05/2024 17:55

I'd need to leave her with the friends for an hour or two a day multiple times until I was sure she was totally fine.

That'd give me confidence that she was settled, knew I'd always come back for her, and not fret for me if I seemed to be away a bit longer than usual!

RitzyMcFee · 21/05/2024 17:59

My dog 'doesn't do' facetime. She can't seem to recognise the voices she hears on FaceTime.

Floralnomad · 21/05/2024 18:32

My dog doesn’t do FaceTime because he’s deaf

crumblingschools · 21/05/2024 18:38

DDog missed DS when DS started university. He couldn't do FaceTime either, would look out the window if he recognised DS’s voice (even though the mere sound of an advert which included a dog) would have him rushing from another room to bark at the tv!

But DDog did like going to the dog boarder, would go off without a backward glance!