I never thought I'd rehome a dog, but...

[Singlemumtoadog]

I have recently split up from my partner, who isn't able to share much of the care of our 5 year old dog due to working hours, moving to a small flat etc.
I work from home, and I have a garden, so in theory I could give our dog a great life. I would love to, but…
She has awful separation anxiety. She whines and howls if left at home alone. I would be able to afford a dog sitter sometimes, but I'm not sure it's feasible to get a dog sitter every time I want to go to Tescos!
She is also nervous of strangers and pretty dog selective, so doggy day care is tricky and I can’t go about my life and she just fits into my plans, everything needs to be thought about!
Has anyone been able to improve a dog with such severe separation anxiety? Was it medication, training, both?

I am determined to give it a go for six months and then see where we are. It would break my heart to rehome her. Equally, can I spend the next years of my life so…restricted?
I know there aren’t people queueing up for a difficult Cockapoo, but I follow a couple of rehoming charities and I see dogs with behavioural problems successfully rehomed.

If anyone has ANY advice- on separation anxiety, rehoming charities, how you don't go mad being totally responsible for a dog…I would love to
hear it!

SA is absolutely treatable but takes time and yes, sometimes drugs are needed (like in humans) to help the dog absorb the training. Drugs don't work on their own. Much the same as using antidepressants alongside CBT in humans and quite frankly if anyone thinks it's an easy option then they know very little about how dogs learn and how they see the world.

Julie Naismith is the leading expert in Sub threshold training and there is also similar and equally helpful articles on the Dog Training Advice and Support group. She has apps and trainers who are very good. It is literally about training at a pace that keeps your dog under the panic threshold so they learn you come back after varying times. You may also need to look at general stress levels, keeping her calm depending on what else she struggles with as trigger stacking can be a major factor.

If your dog was mine (and we've been there as puppies need 24/7 care to begin with and it's quite suffocating) I'd be ordering my shopping in and saving care for when I really need it. I reckon in 6 months if you take things slowly you'd see some pretty major improvement.

In short yes, it's sortable but it does take time, work and money!

Thank you to those who have been helpful and compassionate. I am going to find a trainer specialising in Separation Anxiety, and really commit to the training for six months and see how we get on.
Herbal supplements is a great suggestion- we've tried the plug ins (Adaptil?) and something beginning with Z but I'll try some others too.

It may take a while to even get a rescue space to re-home currently, so its worth asking around to see if anyone can offer any help .
Some dogs are anxious around stranger dogs and try to scare them away but with slow introductions are be able to make friends which may open up some options with other dog owners/paid care.

If you've decent pet insurance check the policy details to see if you've cover for either get qualified behaviourist under complimentary therapy or a referral to a vet behaviourist (dual qualified) who can prescribe anti-anxiety medication along with training advice which will likely come under vet fees.
Also contact other local vet practices to see if any are more experienced with anxiety cases and open to prescribing.

For humans it's usually advised to try anti anxiety medication as can get caught in a cycle of high anxiety so there's very small gap till it tips into the panic fight/flight/freeze auto responses so the logical side of brain then isn't very effective at following any behaviour modification advice and that's when you can understand what's going on and know your fears aren't real. Think vets often use Fluoxetine for longer term and in people SSRIs side effects can be an increase anxiety for few weeks till body adjusts so does need to be given at a very low dose to minimise that.

Can give a cooled chamomile tea to help reduce general level of stress. My dogs nutritionist suggested an equine powdered chamomile as more cost effective daily and Ashwagandha capsules but do need to check doses and if contraindicated with any medications/conditions.

You could try these guys: https://petrehomer.org/

they are brilliant. They vet all the people who express an interest in your pet very closely indeed. Your pet stays at home with you until they find the right fit and then the new owner comes to meet you and your pet and then you decide whether you think they’re the right fit too. They were amazing when we had to rehome my mum’s gorgeous Ragdoll cat when we found out my mum was terminally ill and could no longer care for her cat. It broke her heart but the new home they found was pretty much perfect. The new owners sent photos and updates for a while so we all knew it had been a successful rehome.