Formerly excellent sleeper having trouble settling at night

[Partridgewell]

Hi all,

I posted here a little while ago and received some really excellent advice, so would love to know if anyone has any pearls of wisdom to share on this one.

Our dog is 3. She has slept in the kitchen since she was first brought home. Up until January time she was in a crate. She then started running to her day bed, which is elsewhere in the kitchen, instead of the crate at bedtime, so I allowed her to sleep on her day bed at night instead. I think this, compounded by what I'm going to relate next, has caused the issue.

Up until about six months ago, when at home, the dog stayed in the kitchen unless she was in the living room with us. We spend a lot of time in the kitchen, so she frequently had someone with her, but was also alone for some of the time. We then started to allow her to stay in the living room whilst we were upstairs. She then started to sneak upstairs occasionally, and has developed a love of snoozing on my son's bed. Whenever I find her there, I shoo her downstairs, but she has definitely spent some sneaky hours there where she has snuck up and nobody has noticed. This has never been at nighttime - only in the day.

She has clearly got it in her head that she wants to sleep upstairs. That is not going to happen for a number of reasons - she is a spaniel who has many long walks and gets filthy, and my husband has asthma so I don't want a dog sleeping near him. Added to that, my son is only ten, so not old enough to be with her unsupervised overnight.

She needs to go back to being ok in the kitchen overnight. At the moment we have a bit of barking at bedtime. When she barks, I go down and take her outside on the lead. I do not allow her to go upstairs, which is what she actually wants. She generally settles once she's been around the garden, but has occasionally been unsettled again in the very early morning, and has been scratching at the door on occasions. The disturbance at bedtime is very recent - probably about a week, but the reluctance to go in the kitchen and the attempts to sneak upstairs to DSs bed have been going on for the past few months.

My current plan of action is:
Not to allow her to be alone in any room apart from the kitchen
Giving her some cheese when I catch her lying on her day bed in a calm and relaxed way
Instantly shooing her back down if we catch her upstairs.

I'm not noticing any changes yet, but I suppose it is very early days. Any top tips? Her barking triggers a disproportionate anxiety response within me, which is probably not helping matters!

Instead of allowing her to get upstairs and shooing her back down, I think you need to stop her from going upstairs at all.

I would put a baby gate over the stairs and have it locked at all times. The more you let her get up there and give her the chance to sleep on the bed, the more she's going to want to do it.

I personally wouldn't restrict her to the kitchen unless she was destructive in the living room.

I have a cocker so get why you get stressed with the barking, they’re shrill! Ours sleeps in the kitchen and it seems we have a similar routine with the sitting room, if he’s chilled he can come in but has to be on the bean bag or the ground as he guards the couch or chairs and turns into a psycho dog and I wouldn’t have him in there without me (as the 9yo would say he’s fine but potentially get bitten) Sorry am no help- I think his reaction to the change in routine means he needs the routine, I’d personally leave him to settle and then you’re gone and see if he settles over the next few nights, so no matter what happens don’t go into him but I don’t know how you feel about that, some people wouldn’t want to just leave them, it’s what worked and quickly with us but that was when he was a puppy

Thanks stayathomer. Last night she barked at bedtime, so I went down and took her round the garden. She also barked once at 1am, but I ignored her and she went back to sleep, and was settled on her bed when I went down at 6am.

I was a sweaty anxious mess at 1am, and was having very dark thoughts about sending her to live with my friend (I know this is ridiculous). All quiet again now (I'm back in bed with a cuppa and she's happily snoozing on her bed).

I think it's bringing back trauma from when my kids were little (all three of them were absolutely terrible sleepers). Nobody else in the house even hears her, let alone mithers about it all night!

I put my cocker in the crate at night when he started doing this, and covered it. Solved the problem.

Other things: sniffy walk in the early evening to calm him down, calming treats, licky mats, long-lasting chew in the evening.

Mine is not allowed upstairs and this is enforced with a stair gate. I know it's a pain but maybe that's the answer?

Once they get a taste for something they fancy r they want to do it all the time. I think you need to be sure to never allow sleeping on the bed again as it will reinforce the habit.

My dog prefers sleeping on the sofa to his own bed and will bark to be let in the living room to sleep there. I will admit we have lost the battle a bit on that one but he won't be sleeping upstairs