Ds1 scared of getting a puppy

[cadburyegg]

Have been seriously considering getting a GR puppy since Christmas and have been doing my research about it.
The puppy would mainly be for my benefit, not the dc, as it's me who mainly wants one.

However, ds1 age 9 has been nervous around dogs since he had a couple of bad experiences with them as a toddler. He has started saying he is scared of getting one.

I have a lifetime of experience with most pets (not dogs though tbf) and have always believed that you shouldn't introduce a dog into a household unless all members of the family want one. So, I am reconsidering.

Part of me thinks, though, that a new puppy might help ds1 get over his fear. But I don't want to make him feel unsafe in his own home!

Thoughts? I firmly believe that a pet is a lifetime commitment so don't want to make the wrong decision.

I wouldn’t get a golden retriever with a nervous child they are very puppy like until about 14/18 months and can easily knock children over

Mine was about 8 or 9 when we got a puppy- he loves dogs generally but we did have a few weeks where he hated the puppy- he was just at the right height for the puppy to
nip his hands when it went through the baby-shark phase. All fine now but it would have worse if he’d started with a fear of dogs I think. Maybe leave it a year or two?

Bitey puppies and scared kids aren’t a good combo
what about going to crufts next year and doing the dog breed zone to meet some dogs and decide together what to get?

GRsare very bouncy and boisterous so I think that wouldn’t be an ideal combo

Goldens are big bitey gobshites for the first few months! Kids go flying! Mine was a nightmare and I cried lots and begged my dh to send him back. My life was turned upside down.

He has a sensitive stomach though and when they get the shits and sickness 🤢 there's so much of it. So he has an expensive special food.

tail still knocks small kids flying though but they soon get used to it ( the dog not the kids!) 😂

mud everywhere in this weather

HAIR

other than that it's great

We’ve had this discussion many times over the years (DCs are late teens, DC 1 is scared of dogs, DC2 really wants one, I’d like one too). We aren’t getting one. There are other reasons (DH and I can’t WFH and neither works locally or could take a dog with us) but DC1 is the main reason. We might reconsider when he has left home. DC2 agrees it wouldn’t be fair.

30 years ago, when my DS was 7 he went round to play with our neighbour’s child and was bitten by one of their dogs.

After that he started getting nervous around dogs. We’d been planning on getting a puppy anyway so went ahead and bought a retriever pup. It worked out well, no problems and DS lost his dog fears.

Puppies are very full on and nervous children and puppies is often a disaster as nervous child reacts in a way that puppy finds exciting and then puppy gets over excited, child gets more nervous.

I wouldn’t do it

I say this as someone with two dogs and wouldn’t be without dogs

Maybe rescue one that's a bit older, or offer to look after a friend's dog when they are on holiday and see how that goes. A minature golden doodle would be smaller and may be a bit calmer, so may be a better option.

I think you need an older calm dog one who could sleep through anything and is really chilled. No surprises for your som he’ll know how the dog willl react or not. Older labs are good at this. But an older GR might be very good.

Thoughts? I firmly believe that a pet is a lifetime commitment so don't want to make the wrong decision.

Sounds like too much of a risk then. Because what if his fears grow as a result of the puppy and he doesn’t take to the dog at all - even after 6 months of him feeling anxious in his own home ? My friends eldest didn’t and they eventually rehomed the dog.

Your son may change his mind though? Whatever age /breed of dog you decide you want, make sure all your household is on board, as you say - it wouldn’t be fair otherwise to inflict a dog on them and for them to feel unsafe in their own home.

Puppies are knobheads. They bite and scratch and get overly excited and bark and growl and snap and pounce and jump up. They destroy clothing and possessions. If a child is scared then getting a puppy is a recipe for disaster. I’m an experienced puppy owner and currently have a 14 week old puppy. I’ve felt like I have PND some days I’m so exhausted and sick of it. DPup is lovely but extremely hard work with extremely sharp teeth

Child more important than dog, IMO. I wouldn’t.

Child trumps animal by leaps and bounds.

I think it would be unkind to bring a dog into the home of a child who really doesn't want one, he won't be able to relax and the risk is you have to rehome the dog if it doesn't improve.

Our neighbour and a friend have always had GR rescue dogs. I'd go for a chilled adult dog..

Just Google golden retriever rescue.

Get an adult dog.

Would you consider a withdrawn guide dog? Or a guide dog mum? (You would, definitely, have puppies in the house though!)

Or if you want a "trial" puppy you could be puppy raisers? (You get to give them back after a year)

Don’t do it, Op.

You should not get a dog at all if your child is scared. Even practically speaking; how are you going to view a litter if your DS is scared of dogs? Most breeders have 2 adult dogs. Or more. All of whome will be bouncy (particularly mum after weeks of nursing). If you get a rescue…you’ll have to take your son if he’s scared they won’t let you take a dog (even IF they allow someone with a child to have a dog in theory).

What about dog walking? Lots of dogs aren’t trained and run up to people with dogs (particularly puppies!). Will your son just stay at home?

Vets? Just you taking the dog? Lots of stressed (loud) dogs in the vets.

Goldens can be huge. Mine is 45KG (and growing). He’s 15 months. He still mouths. And jumps. Only when he’s over excited, but he still does it.

Maybe when your son is older, but not now. I’d also add that whilst GR are lovely - they are not good for novice owners. To be a GOOD golden owner and give the dog what it needs and train it well requires time, patience and a lot of effort. It’s not like some dogs where you can just never walk or or engage with it…a golden needs/wants to be involved with everyone and everything.