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Puppy Survival Thread for New and Old Pups - Spring is around the corner!

1000 replies

Lougle · 08/03/2024 13:33

A thread for puppy owners to share their ups and downs as we head into Spring. We're not just here for the idyllic moments. We've all had a cry at some point!

All posters welcome - just dive in.

The previous thread is here https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/the_doghouse/4945764-puppy-survival-thread-for-old-and-new-pups-heading-into-winter?page=1

Puppy Survival Thread - for old and new pups heading into winter | Mumsnet

A thread to continue our journey with our puppies as we head into winter. If you're new to having a puppy, jump straight in.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/the_doghouse/4945764-puppy-survival-thread-for-old-and-new-pups-heading-into-winter?page=1

OP posts:
Thread gallery
153
JamieJ93 · 28/03/2024 15:19

Milo,
9.5 months.
He doesnt even look real but here's my shiny boy 😅😅

Puppy Survival Thread for New and Old Pups - Spring is around the corner!
PointerParty · 28/03/2024 20:29

ah @JamieJ93 he looks very regal! Where did you get your throw if you don't mind me asking? Always on the look out for sofa protection!

Pup got all the all clear for her hips! Such a massive relief. I'm so glad she's not in pain

Cavalierchaos · 28/03/2024 20:52

Oh my lord. I just don't think I can cope with this puppy. He's either 0 (sleepy and calm) or 100 (lunging, biting, growling, throwing himself around the room). When he's 0, he's lovely. But when he's 100, I just can't. How do you survive this? I am fantasising about contacting the breeder to ask to return him, but I am so so embarrassed to be a failure. Everyone in my life and partner's life know I have a puppy now. I can't bear it.

JaneIves · 28/03/2024 21:31

I was where you are now 8 weeks ago, I feel your pain!
I thought I'd made a massive mistake, I felt awful.

It really does get better! Pup needs loads of sleep, 16-20 hours a day.
My pup was bloody horrible when tired/overstimulated. We did (and still do) enforce naps which helps massively.

Hang in there.

Lougle · 28/03/2024 23:13

@Cavalierchaos I'm sorry it's so hard. It is hard. A bit like with human babies, the memories fade as they get older and easier. I'm not going to tell you to persevere - make the best decision you can cope with. If you can keep going it will get better, but if you can't, then earlier rather than later would be best to return the pup.

To cope, I would use containment. A puppy pen that he can throw himself around, and only comes out to play when he's calm.

OP posts:
CurlsnSunshinetime4tea · 29/03/2024 02:20

@Cavalierchaos it is hard.
do you have a fenced yard?
when finley is very hyper and hell bent to draw blood we play with him in the yard, during those moments he’s probably overtired, but he dislikes the crate. I’m trying to see if his “worse” times coincide with poops or being thirsty or the time of day. we continue to distract all chewing of arms, furniture or shoes with a toy.
finley spends several hours per day outside. No walks yet, just free roaming at this point, getting to know his yard. probably 20 minutes out of every hour.
thankfully night sleeping is okay, he’s certainly not sleeping much by day.

Puppy Survival Thread for New and Old Pups - Spring is around the corner!
Waterwaves · 29/03/2024 06:25

Hello, I have a 6 month old lab who I brought home at 8.5 weeks old. It's been a roller coaster ride. He's a pure bred rascal but he's my rascal. I've fallen in love with him so there's no going back. I'd wanted a lab puppy for decades. I'd read widely and thought I was prepared. Ha! The reality was nothing like I expected. He had no manners, no morals, no loyal love for me. For much of the first few weeks if I'd had a time machine I would have been delighted to have gone back and never have met him. I was convinced he was aggressive. He used his teeth strategically to get his own way. If he didn't want to be lifted out of car, or didn't want to be touched to untangle his lead from his paw, or didn't want me to hold the treat he was eating for him he would bite. He drew blood twice. He would growl FEROCIOUSLY while pulling at my trouser leg or my neighbour's trouser leg. He growled at me once for lifting him out of car. If I dared to tell him 'no' e.g. for chewing skirting boards he would look at me with a look in his eyes that scared me. I had nightmares every night for weeks about the big bad aggressive adult dog I was sure he would become. People reassured me that 3 month old puppies are rarely to never agressive. But they hadn't seen him in action! I was convinced I'd adopted a 'wrong un'. But I was wrong. He was being a normal puppy. In between all his 'aggressive acts' he would sleep in my arms, sit calmly at my feet in cafes, greet strangers with adoration, sleep pressed into my back. For 95% of time I felt a calm, loving fondness for him. Slowly at first and then all at once I fell in love with him. A few things helped me when I was convinced he was aggressive. My sister told me she'd worried the same about her lab who is now the calmest, gentlest most beautiful, trustworthy dog imaginable. I read The Happy Puppy book which reassured me that puppies growl FEROCIOUSLY in play. I took him to Dogs Trust Puppy School where a brilliant trainer explained to me that puppies are like toddlers who have no idea how to control their emotions. That puppies can behave the ways I'd described when over tired, over stimulated, when playing too hard. She used an analogy of bucket of water to describe over stimulation. She said some things add water to the bucket like new experiences, meeting new people, play. Other things take water out of the bucket like sleep, chewing, licking, peace and quiet. It was my job to manage the bucket so it never overflowed. I had to balance the excitement with calm. @Cavalierchaos I joined mumsnet to share this with you. I know how hard it is to have dream of dog be nothing like reality. I too had thoughts of returning my puppy sometimes in those first few weeks and couldn't see a way out. Everyone I knew knew I had him. I felt like a failure. I know now I wasn't. I have no idea how it's such a 'well kept secret' that puppies can be absolute horrors for most of their waking hours. That the puppy blues are real and hit hard. I guess it's because so many of us keep the lows of puppydom to ourselves. My puppy is still a pure bred rascal. Today alone when I left him home-alone for 90 minutes he counter surfed my desk and shredded everything on it. He had a bit residual poo stuck to his rear end during a walk which he licked off. He took his lead in his mouth when we got home from walk and refused to let go, trying to entice me into a game of tug of war. But he's also looked at me with love in his eyes, showed pure unbridled joy on walks, played with football like it was the most fun thing ever, hasn't barked once, has greeted me with wagging tail, obeyed almost every sit, stay, leave it and come here instantly and enthusiastically, he's been the only soul who's wanted to be by my side all day long. He's filled my heart to overflow with love. He literally destroyed my 'Perfect Puppy' book soon after I brought him home. He'll never be the perfect 'guide dog' type dog I dreamed of. And that's finally OK. Like all dogs, he's a unique individual and I love him fiercely, (but that fiercer kind of love takes time to develop, at least for me). One of the greatest things about dogs is that they're so trainable. I know that I can fix the counter surfing for example - hopefully! Those first few weeks and months can be so hard. So exhausting, getting up through night, clearing up accidents, always on go, trying in vain to communicate with a stranger of another species, everyone else saying how cute he is and how he's made them want a puppy too when you know the truth and are only partly joking when you say 'you can have mine'! I kept mostly quiet about my occassional puppy regrets and when I did speak of them I down played them. Everyone knew how much I'd wanted a puppy and I couldn't bring myself to tell them how I felt sometimes. It's life changing getting a dog. Now if I had a time machine I would still get him. But I'd want to go back knowing what I know now and do it all again calmer and with less worry. Another thing that helped me was speaking to vet who reassured me he had a fantastic temperament and his behaviours were all normal. With hindsight I think my puppy was stressed and over-stimulated for much of his early weeks in new home. I agree with other posters that if you hang on in there it will definately get better. There will be ups and downs. I still have down days with puppy where he seems to ignore me unless I have chicken in my hand. Where I'll feel so much love for him I have tears in my eyes, reach out to touch him and he'll move away. It's probably only been the last few weeks where he's started to consistently show true bond with me e.g. to show joy when I praise him, to look up to my face to check in with me on lead walks, to enjoy being stroked by me more than anyone else, to react with concern and staying close when I slip. I think I can see glimmers of the adult dog he'll become - calm, gentle, loyal, quietly sensitive, relatively independent, joy loving - nothing like the one I feared when I worried about his 'early puppyhood aggression'. I've gotten to know him and mostly understand him. I can see clealy now just how much of an intelligent, emotional, sentient, thinking soul he truly is. To say it's not all roses (then and now) is an understatement. But now, at least, the good puppy days far outweigh the bad puppy days. Best wishes x

Waterwaves · 29/03/2024 06:35

Reading the puppy survival threads helped me enormously too.

Lougle · 29/03/2024 06:37

@Waterwaves I'm glad you're enjoying your boy more now. We have an 8 month old (today!) lab bitch, Hazel.

OP posts:
Yllasin · 29/03/2024 08:42

Hi all
All of the above for me, and at 13 weeks, if I could go back in time, I may have decided to wait or just stick with volunteer walking my cinnamon trust dogs!
However I really love her, and I just keep holding on to the thought of the dog she will become. (While fretting about "will she get used to the car".... essential! And "will I be able to leave her" ... also essential)

Is anybody else on here a lone pup slave? My girl falls asleep on my lap, (and sleeps 8-9 hours in bed with me at night) sometimes I move her into her bed and she'll stay asleep while I have a wash/shower, but I do it all quickly in case she wakes, needs a wee, and I don't get there to let her out.
The crate is a failure really, she'll eat in it, go in for a tasty chew, but shut that door and she's up in arms!
I'm ordering in shopping, fitting in cooking etc when I can.
Wondering about a pen, but she's an agile little thing and I wonder how's long it would last before she's over it...
Friends and family say "you'll have to just leave her and go out for a while". I know they have my best interests at heart but I'm so worried she'll feel she's been abandoned and be frightened.

We have just got to little walks out, where she is alternating between sitting and shivering, being tempted by rewards, or trying to get to people and dogs! Quite amusing but challenging.

Sorry another wall of text. I am hanging in there, and to be fair, my friend had a long lasting and very hard time with her goldie and I saw how tired and stressed she was. She has a husband though.
Her bitch is now lovely, although had a period of regression after her season with? Phantom pregnancy.

Puppy Survival Thread for New and Old Pups - Spring is around the corner!
PaddingtonsHat · 29/03/2024 09:05

The pen has been the best thing we did. I know she is safe, even if she’s whining, and it’s meant she’s got used to us leaving her in a room alone and then coming back. She goes in there when we are eating, when we go out or when she needs time out. I knew I wouldn’t be able to have eyes on a puppy 24/7 and this has really helped me not lose the plot.

Yllasin · 29/03/2024 09:33

PaddingtonsHat · 29/03/2024 09:05

The pen has been the best thing we did. I know she is safe, even if she’s whining, and it’s meant she’s got used to us leaving her in a room alone and then coming back. She goes in there when we are eating, when we go out or when she needs time out. I knew I wouldn’t be able to have eyes on a puppy 24/7 and this has really helped me not lose the plot.

Thank you.
What height is it? And area? Sounds ideal as I'm also worried that neither of my rooms are fully puppy proof, ie cables.
Her breeder also used as puppy pen within her kitchen area so I'll sounds her out on it too.

PaddingtonsHat · 29/03/2024 10:02

We have this one- can get different heights. It does move (although makes it easier to clean around and under) but am sure there are more robust options if needed
https://amzn.eu/d/fG9ftNs

https://amzn.eu/d/fG9ftNs?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-the-doghouse-5024087-puppy-survival-thread-for-new-and-old-pups-spring-is-around-the-corner

lazzaroo · 29/03/2024 10:37

I agree with giving the pen a go. We only use the crate overnight. We use the pen if we have to leave her in the day or if we know she needs to chill out. She sometimes whines for a couple of minutes when first put in but very quickly settles down. We used the ring doorbell to spy on her when we first left her!

tizwozliz · 29/03/2024 13:37

When we picked up our younger pup she had all four paws off the floor trying to climb out of the sort of pen linked. She had made it on top of the crate and the dining table the first week home. Our older one wouldn't have attempted to escape.

BackToLurk · 29/03/2024 13:37

Yllasin · 29/03/2024 08:42

Hi all
All of the above for me, and at 13 weeks, if I could go back in time, I may have decided to wait or just stick with volunteer walking my cinnamon trust dogs!
However I really love her, and I just keep holding on to the thought of the dog she will become. (While fretting about "will she get used to the car".... essential! And "will I be able to leave her" ... also essential)

Is anybody else on here a lone pup slave? My girl falls asleep on my lap, (and sleeps 8-9 hours in bed with me at night) sometimes I move her into her bed and she'll stay asleep while I have a wash/shower, but I do it all quickly in case she wakes, needs a wee, and I don't get there to let her out.
The crate is a failure really, she'll eat in it, go in for a tasty chew, but shut that door and she's up in arms!
I'm ordering in shopping, fitting in cooking etc when I can.
Wondering about a pen, but she's an agile little thing and I wonder how's long it would last before she's over it...
Friends and family say "you'll have to just leave her and go out for a while". I know they have my best interests at heart but I'm so worried she'll feel she's been abandoned and be frightened.

We have just got to little walks out, where she is alternating between sitting and shivering, being tempted by rewards, or trying to get to people and dogs! Quite amusing but challenging.

Sorry another wall of text. I am hanging in there, and to be fair, my friend had a long lasting and very hard time with her goldie and I saw how tired and stressed she was. She has a husband though.
Her bitch is now lovely, although had a period of regression after her season with? Phantom pregnancy.

I completely failed ‘nighttime puppy sleeping’. I’ve been down stairs since we got him on the sofa bed. He started in a pen, which he jumped out of, and ended up on the bed with me. I thought that was it. Anyway last night we moved upstairs. Crate set up by the bed. We let him mess about a bit then I encouraged him into his crate and shut the door. He whined for a few minutes, not distressed just ‘mithering’ then curled up and went to sleep. Slept all the way through until 7 am. I’m now wondering why we didn’t do it ages ago. Still working on him being on his own, but much more hopeful. Anyway, not sure where I was going except to say things that seem insurmountable are suddenly fixed, and you’ll get there.

Yllasin · 29/03/2024 14:30

It does remind me of having a baby. The possibility of 'failing ' various stages, the not understanding what they want. The expert opinions, the other opinions. I know I need to learn to give less figs about everything, I'm 65 and still failing that one 😆
But people being supportive really is a help. Family are good but they have their own problems, and folk online are not affected by it in the same way. thanks again 😊

Cavalierchaos · 29/03/2024 15:18

Thank you to every single person who responded, your messages mean a lot, I could actually cry. I feel like I need to hear tons and tons of stories about awful puppies and how they turned into lovely dogs.

This whole thing has made me really question why I wanted a dog. I wanted a companion, as although I have a lovely partner, we don't live together and won't be for a few years yet so I do get lonely. I wanted a dog to go on walks with, as I struggle with lack of motivation by myself. I wanted to feel loved beyond measure, have that animal who adores me no matter what. I wanted cuddles and a cosy lap dog.

Was I utterly stupid? I mean, you don't need a dog to go on a walk😒

thenewaveragebear1983 · 29/03/2024 16:47

Just catching up with the thread and I will also wholeheartedly agree with all the above sentiments. We have been incredibly lucky with Maggie and even then, she has driven me to dispair..today she licked wet emulsion paint off a wall. I cannot imagine ever being able to leave her unattended loose and go out, you know like everyone else’s dog just hangs out in their lounge until they come home. I’m terrified that one day she’s gonna refuse to go in her crate and my work and my sleep will just disappear.

but hey. For now, she’s good. She’s not perfect, and she won’t ever be. I’m not disciplined enough to train a perfect dog. But she’s ok. Underneath it all, she’s an incredibly biddable, gentle spirited animal and I think that helps us because she’s pretty chilled.

Lougle · 29/03/2024 17:34

Yes, we've been very lucky with Hazel, too. We do leave her free roam in DD2's bedroom. We set the rule that if it's available to chew, it's hers and we can't complain, which focused DD2's mind to make sure her room was puppy proof. Having said that, she seemed to learn very quickly what was hers and what wasn't, so we've never actually faced something chewed that shouldn't be. She seems to know that when we shut DD2's door, her job is to sleep.

OP posts:
BackToLurk · 29/03/2024 17:51

Well today we had a numptie (I’m being polite) tell us we hadn’t trained our dog properly because he was a bit cautious around the numptie’s little yappy confrontational dog, and apparently male staffies should be ‘harder’. “No mate, he’s just a big softy who wants none of these shenanigans”.

Lougle · 29/03/2024 18:43

Ignore it @BackToLurk . Have you taught LurkPup 'Middle'? It can be a really good safety position for more cautious dogs, and stops other people getting to them.

OP posts:
Waterwaves · 29/03/2024 18:47

Thanks @Lougle, Happy 8 month old birthday to Hazel x

Waterwaves · 29/03/2024 19:36

@Yllasin It comes across clearly in your post how much you love your puppy. I'm sure she'll sense that from you too. She's gorgeous, such calm, gentle eyes. I don't have much puppy experience. I'm only 4 months in with my 1st puppy. With Water Pup I left him for very short periods from around day 2 or 3 (e.g. 10 minute dash to corner shop while he was fast asleep (and I believed he would be for at least an hour) and built up gradually from there. For the first few weeks I only left him for under 30 min. Then, a few weeks later I started to leave him for up to an hour when he was awake but exhausted after walks or play. Then a few weeks later I started to leave him when he was slightly less tired but I also then left him with a chew or meal or something to distract / entertain himself with (e.g. chicken rolled up in an old tied up tea towel). I deliberately don't make any fuss when I leave or return so hopefully it doesn't seem like a big deal to him. Water Pup has always seemed relatively independent and has never been obviously clingy. But I've come to realise that he's the 'strong silent' type who is sometimes more upset inwardly than he appears. I'm slightly concerned that the last 3 times I've left him he's created his own 'entertainment' but as far as I'm aware he's not been distressed. I think he's just been enjoying the freedom to do his thing e.g. counter surfing for a whole bag of treats (which I didn't think he could reach - he grows so fast) and scoffing the entire bag. I have no doubt from your post that you'll always try to do right by your puppy. I've come to realise that there are few to no rules and so many right ways to raise a puppy (although experience is invaluable). You know your puppy better than anyone and you love her more than anyone too. I think it's unlikely your instincts in raising infant soul will lead you too far astray. So I hope you'll seek all the advice you want but then feel confident in the decisions you make for her. I don't know how old your puppy is but for what it's worth, my completely non-expert advice is (assuming she's a few months old) is to aim to allow your puppy fit in with your life to the degree she can cope with rather than you always fitting in with her. In practice this may mean retuning to cooking at your regular times e.g. while she's on other side of baby gate and leaving her for very short shopping trips while she's fast asleep and building up gradually from there. I have every faith you'll do great job with her and that she's lucky to have you. Best wishes x

Waterwaves · 29/03/2024 19:47

@Yllasin I meant to add Water Pup hated car travel at first. He would whimper constantly and desperately try to make body contact with me for reassurance. It was essential for me too that he learned to travel in car happily and calmly. He's very food motivated so I would lure him in to car with high value treats and park every mile or so that he was calm and quiet to reward him with more treats. Now he gets into car willingly and sits on passenger seat calmly and adorably like a wee gent watching world go by. I do worry sometimes that he'll soon be too big for passenger seat so I'll very likely need too train him all over again to travel in back seat x

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