How to respond to aggressive dogs in the park?

[StandingUpForWhatsRight]

Hi,

I wondered if I could ask advice from experience dog owners? I've never had a dog.

My son is out of school with anxiety at the moment and we are going for lots of walks, because the sunshine and exercise helps.

DS is very nervous of dogs, because just after the first lockdown a neighbour's dog squared up to him and barked and growled savagely and looked as though it might attack him.

Now we are out and about he is getting less nervous of them, and that is great. However, today in the park I saw two normal looking labradors run up to a man sitting on a bench and start barking savagely at him and really looking incredibly agressive, right up close to him. The owner called their names casually, but otherwise did nothin,g and just wandered slowly over to where they were. If it had been my DS he would have been having an absolute fit and I wouldn't have known what to do. After the man got the dogs away, they starting fighting each other and he couldn't separate them.

I wondered if you think I should carry tennis balls to throw for dogs if they get crazy with us like that, or a stick to give them a gentle tap on the nose or something? Sorry if that is not the right thing to suggest. I really don't know a lot about dogs. I would be really grateful to know what I should do if we get in a position like that.

Thanks so much for thinking about it.

Most dogs you encounter in the park are not aggressive. They might be loud and look scary but they are generally fine. Just ignore them and carry on as you are. They will get bored and go away.

When the DC were really small we were walking home through a farm (public right of way) and a massive German shepherd came running out of the yard barking its head off. My eldest at the time was scared of dogs and her usual reaction was to scream and run. I grabbed her arm and said whatever you do, do not scream and do not run. We walked quickly through the yard as the dog approached us. He came right up. Sniffed us as we carried on walking completely ignoring him. Then went off back the way he came. I don’t know if he was a nice dog, a guard dog or whatever. But the best thing to do is always to ignore and keep moving

Thanks, yes this sounds all good.

My DS went to the park today and came back laughing at a silly dog with short legs that was turbo walking to keep up with its owner, so I think we are on the right road. If dogs are funny now then we are back on the right track.

Our next door neighbour has a massive labrador that is extremely well disciplined so we are learning what a wall behaved dog looks like from knowing him. I think that is very helpful. Having high expections really well met in this area is good I think. The big dog is extremely confused about our rollerblades.

Dog owners drive me nuts. You may know your dog well but other people do not. I don't know whether your dog is just being 'friendly' as they rush up to my son and stick their nose in his face and frighten him. I can't be sure whether my son is going to be calm and remain still or whether he's going to panic and alarm the dog. And once the dog is up close, there's then little I can do if the dog does kick off. And I don't care whether the 'majority' of dogs are 'just being friendly.' There are enough reports and videos of dogs kicking off -- my priority is protecting my child.

I had exactly this last week -- in a cafe of all places. Owner let the dog play with another dog downstairs, they barked loudly, and then the big one bounded upstairs, spotted my child and got his face right into his. Following the advice here, I just carefully tried to put an arm between the dog and my child, but really it was a superficial barrier. I just feared whether leaping up and trying to put my body in the way would startle the dog and make things worse. Owner eventually came upstairs, in his own good time, saw the situation, and said nothing. When I went to ask the barista about their policy on unleashed dogs he just shrugged and said it was friendly and it had been coming to the cafe for ages.

I've had enough of this. I'm not going to be taking that risk with my child's safety again. I'll risk a bite to myself to keep an unleashed dog well away from my child. And maybe if this results in a few dogs getting put down, perhaps owners will be a little more respectful of other people, and their children's, boundaries.

My dog is docile and timid. However when she was things like roller blades and scooter used to scare her for some reason. When little kids would go past on them, she would bark. As she has matured, she has less problem. Her barking wasn't being aggressive, it was being scared. So just as dogs can be scary to some children or adults, it's worth understanding that sometimes dogs can be scared too and that barking can be a sign of defensiveness and fear.

‘Dog owners drive me nuts’

So a third of the UK drives you nuts? You must be such a happy and delightful person! We’re not all irresponsible and you’re being very unreasonable to tar every owner with the same brush

Pretty sure the Kennel Club has information directed to children and dogs. Including what to do if they are frightened, "pretending to be a tree", moving very slowly, not looking in their eyes. This is good too and you can find local qualified trainers and volunteers https://kidsarounddogs.co.uk/
I mean I'm pretty angry that any of my fellow dog owners are putting you in that position but the reality is some people will always be selfish idiots

@ejsmith99 that is a really helpful link.

Making careful notes not to be scary on rollerblades. Today a very small dog bared its teeth and growled at our rollerblades and I thought "Aha! I know what that means!". I couldn't do a thing about it because I'm a 48 year old woman on rollerblades, so I'm basically imobile. But good intentions at least...

My dog gets scared by carrier bags. And snowmen. Dogs can be shocking cowards.

You socialise them when they are pups and try and build their confidence about the unexpected as you can’t think of everything.

But still, snowmen.

Mine is fine with carrier bags unless they're in trees he's also terrified of temporary traffic lights (permanent ones are fine).

Not sure if this has been suggested but we've had great success with speaking to the dog in a commanding, firm voice. Hold your ground in front of your kid, and using an authoritative "No/Stop/Go" with a hand in front of you like you're telling off a child tends to work a treat. Also a sharp 'IH or EH' like you're telling off. I know it can be stressful but keep relaxed and composed. Most dogs do understand these words and associate this body language with them, and will generally understand you're not wanting to play or say hi.

We've got a dog that'd rather not be jumped all over/rushed by a strange dog! Also had owners calling "he's friendly" while their said lovely pet is miles away from them and snarling, charging at ours.

Body blocking and voice commanding is our main tactic for these situations!

Buy a solid walking stick

I know someone who used to have a decent sized stick and if a dog came charging towards them, they just stood tall and planted the stick in front of themselves. The dog veered off every time.
Also the knee in the chest of a jumping up dog works.

Hi,

I wondered if I could come back to this thread again with an update? We were out another park today and this time a labrador did come right up to my son and was jumping up at him and barking loudly in his face. He was terrified. We then went a bit further and saw another labrador. This time I got my son to stay still while I went to the owner to ask her to call her dog. However the dog just ran round me to run up to my son. He was again terrified even though this time the dog was well behaved. He ended up sobbing and we had to get the bus home because he was terrified to cross the fields.

I wondered if you could pass out the word in dog communities to ask people not to let their dogs run up and jump and bark in people's faces?

My son is out of school with panic attacks, and sunshine and exercise are the things that help him get better. We really need to be able to go to the park without him getting dogs jumping and barking in his face.

Thanks!

I wondered if you could pass out the word in dog communities to ask people not to let their dogs run up and jump and bark in people's faces?

Decent dog owners know this already - the kind of people who allow their dogs to behave like that aren't going to give a shit, sadly.

Oh dear. Yes I suppose so. We're going to need body armour.

Ok. So that’s appalling. Maybe you need to go nuclear. You could get an air horn and blast it- not toward the dog, preferably before the dog gets near you. Just a short pap. It will draw the owner’s attention too.

Stand arms and legs apart like a star, with a scowly face and bellow No! In a low boomy voice. Be focal solid between the dog and your son.

Thanks so much for the encouragement. These are good thoughts.

I see what you mean about the dog but I think with an air horn my son would also explode. He's sound-sensitive ASD and has to cover his ears when I run the tap. I am not loud enough to be heard over a bus ticket myself, so shouting might now work that well. I'm slightly tempter by a super-soaker.

I did try standing firmly between dog and child, but it didn't help at all, the dog just went round me. Ultimately I turned my back on the dog and put my arms around my son in a bear-hug to protect him at least psychologically from the dog. I thought that would give a strong hint to the owner too, but she seemed to have had an empathy fail.

I think it should be permissable to lob a brick at these daft bouncy dogs. I mean obviously I don't really mean that, but it's such a pain in the bum not being able to go for a walk without getting mistaken for a dog toy.

I tried searching youtube, but all the videos are for owners, not for those on the receiving end. I rang police 101 to ask for advice but they said they can't help unless the dog is likly to bite, in which case I should take a photo.

I do wonder if I should take a photo of daft bouncy dogs and their owners, but they might take exception to that and I can't take the risk really.

I'm thinking that leather armour is the way.

(this is all tongue-in-sheek btw. I'm very friendly and do like dogs myself.)

Motocycle gear possibly. Whole body. and helmet. That would do it.

A dog like that got a doggy asbo in my area recently. only allowed out muzzled and on a lead. Half the road outraged as it’s a lovely dog. But a child tripped over running away.

I’m so sorry and wish I had the answers.

Thanks so much, the sympathy and encouragement helps a lot. I think I'm going to need to watch a lot of dog videos and learn to exude the correct jedi vibes.

I had no idea that a dog asbo was a thing.

I just watched a ton of videos about dogs, and it seems as though I need to start giving my son a small piece of cheese every time he withstands contact with a friendly dog. That's what the dog trainers are doing with their dogs, each time they withstand contact with another human. Will have to ponder that. Today I bought him a fish supper, which is basically the same thing.

I love it! Change his associations with dogs 🤣🤣

Actually you could get him to throw treats at the dog. It will encourage the dog but will also distract the dog in a floorwards direction, and distract your son as well. And anyowner that complains should keep better control of the dog.

Id start in a controlled way, sat on a bench. Like feeding the ducks!

My son now 10 has always had a fear of dogs after a group-walk of 6 women and god knows how many dogs came along near his buggy whereby one of the dogs suddenly attacked the buggy, biting the wheels and barking viciously until the women yanked the dog away WHILST LAUGHING, she then cackled out "TALK ABOUT CHILDHOOD TRAUMA! Hahahahahaha!". Fucking cunt.

It's taken a lot of work with him since then teach him about dog behaviour, how to not run, but there's been additional incidents over the years where dogs have come running up barking to him, jumping on him, and he's frozen in fear whilst the stupid fucking moron owners yell from a far off distance "Ohhhh don't worrrry, she/he just wants to plaaaaaaay!!!". In general now if he sees a dog near him he freezes whilst he assesses what it's doing, wait for it to be called/yanked off my owner, then he'll carry on whilst watching it. In general, I'm right on hand to watch/be with him as well. He clings on to me bless him, and I move him calmly behind me whether the dog seems aggressive or not, but he's got better over the years at being more confident when they run p to him.

100% dogs shouldn't go up to you but they will. The very best thing is to not show fear which is impossible if you are scared.
You need to find ways to stop your son being scared and you being scared. You're doing the right thing by finding out and not giving yourself knowledge. But the way that you react will 100% influence how your son reacts if you're very non-plused and not interested or reactive towards dogs and just be really low key about it then he will much more likely respond. If you keep going on about it making it into a big thing it will become a big thing in his head.
I would really try and find a way for him to get to meet some dogs who are friendly and that you know won't be difficult.
I know that hypnotherapy can work in reducing phobia around dogs and in turn reduce your body language to stop being scared. It would be worth you doing this. I don't know if he'd be able to as a child.

It's shit that you are the one that has to do it but we have had dogs living with us for millennia and we never won't. And they have been shit owners forever and this won't change l all you can change is your reaction to them.
I walk my dogs every single day normally twice and I have never been attacked by a dog, I live in an area with lots of big tough dogs and I just ignore them and they ignore me.