Need reassurance re PTS

[Disgruntledpelicanlady]

Hi - I'm sat here devastated that we're even considering it, but I think we might be having my girl PTS tomorrow.

We don't know how old she is - she's a rescue from awful circumstances, estimated to be at least 10 and was saved from being PTS as a stray 6 years ago in the council pound.
She's been an absolute labour of love. She came to us with so many behavioural issues and skin infections, and while we never fully fixed the dog reactivity, she has been a delight of a girl and so gentle and loving with our now toddler.
For about the past 6 months she has been slowing down, gradually not wanting to play or go out for a walk. The vet diagnosed back pain a month ago, we've tried loxicom and gabapentin but no improvement yet. In fact she's got worse, her legs keep collapsing under her and she's become incontinent. She's also recently gone blind and is walking into things, no doubt jarring her back more. She cries and whines a lot and wanders around looking lost. She's been deaf for a while. She shakes most of the time.
It's awful to see. She's absolutely not herself and it doesn't even feel like the same dog is in there.
When we saw the vet last week he was optimistic that with painkillers she would be OK (he even gave her her yearly boosters) but I find think we can go on like this. I can't sit and watch her collapse into puddles of her own wee.

Selfishly, on a practical level this is just not doable. We both work full time and her care needs are increasing a combination on her legs going and her vision means she literally needs leading and supporting to move around a room and we can't be there to do it all day. When we go out to work she cries and howls (it never bothered her before). Neither of us can quit/take time off to be with her and she's not much more settled even when we're home. We also have a toddler which isn't great when we have to ignore her to help the dog up and back in from the garden and when there is puddles of urine on the floor. My house absolutely stinks at the minute.

I can't bear the thought that we're potentially giving up on her. She has been there for such key moments: first proper job offer postgrad (I was walking her when they rang), buying our first home, she attended our wedding, welcoming our first baby home etc.
Are we awful for considering this?

She sounds like she's in pain. If her legs are giving way, she's in pain and incontinent and definitely sounds like the kindest thing is to pts. So many people leave it until the dog is in agony. I'm so sorry - it's always an upsetting decision to come to. I hope it's as peaceful as it can be.

No you are absolutely not awful to think of it. You've done everything you can for her, loved her and supported her. Now she's in pain and incontinent and she needs you to perform the last act of love for her and let her go peacefully to sleep. I think it's the kindest thing you could do.

No, you're not awful.
It's a hard decision to take, but it cetainly sounds like it's the right one for her.
No animal deserves to live on in pain and distress.
Be brave to be kind. It's the last kindness you can do for her.

We had to face this last year. It was horrible. Looking back it was time but it was us that couldn’t face it, not her. We got the vet out to our home and whilst waiting she ate every banned thing going, it was probably one of the better hours of her life to be honest being an exceptionally greedy dog.

I have missed her but haven’t thought the timing was wrong, if anything a bit late.

Sounds like your dog isn’t enjoying life, you’re not giving up on her, you’re thinking of quality of life. Don’t feel guilty.

You are not giving up on DDog at all by considering PTS, in fact you are putting her needs first and foremost by discussing what is best for her. It's never an easy decision to put a much loved companion to sleep, but your DDog is blind, deaf, incontinent, occasionally collapses, likely in pain and prognosis doesn't indicate recovery. I would PTS in those circumstances AND I would be upset too at saying goodbye, because it's a hard thing to do, but the right thing to do.

We had to put our DDog to sleep 3 years ago, the cancer had spread and she laid down and wouldn't get up. I knew then it was time, but boy it hurts your heart. Such is the price we pay for their unconditional love.

Awww it's so hard but it sounds like it's time. She hasn't got a good quality of life. It sounds like doggy dementia is kicking in. Sending lots of love..it's never easy to let a loved one go.

Please don’t leave your poor dog like this any longer. She’s absolutely miserable, clearly distressed and likely in pain. Make the right choice for her as a matter of urgency. It’s heartbreaking but most definitely the right thing to do.

The fact that PTS will make our lives easier as a 'side effect' can trigger a sense of guilt and that can blind us to the fact that the dog's life quality is just not there either.

You have given her six years of love but her body is now letting her down. There is no fixing what has broken and she will get worse and worse.

You can save her from that. It would be an act of love.

Your vet will explore all viable alternatives with you before you reach this decision. If,in the end, they recommend PTS you will know you are doing the best thing for your girl. Very difficult for you, but be proud that you have given her many happy years and releasing her from pain when she needed you to.
My condolences 💐

We are in exactly the same position at the moment. We are having to carry our dog outside to the toilet because she's wobbly and falls, I've been putting it off because I feel guilty she isn't in pain as far as I can tell no crying or anything but her quality of life isn't there, she just sleeps and I'm not sure she really knows us now like you say it feels as though she isn't the same dog anymore. I'm constantly mopping up accidents our house stinks too I'm embarrassed. We have had her for 12 years and she was a loving gentle dog it's such a hard thing to do but at this stage it's the kindest thing to do, the vet will want you to keep going because they are making a fortune!!

I am so angry with this vet.

I had a run in with our vets. The first vet said he should be put to sleep soon. We went back a week later because he was worse. The second vet wanted bloods, scan, etc. I refused. He dragged the whole process out for 45 minutes it was bloody awful. He made me feel so bad.

You dog is dead, blind, her back end is going and she's incontinent and your vet gave her the yearly boosters? What the hell?

She's clearly telling you loud and clear she's suffering. Please do the kind thing.

Sorry if this is harsh but I'm agog at this.

Deaf* can't edit on the app.

Oh, poor girl, do let her go. I gave my old dog a week too long because I was blinded to how unwell she was, but it's so clear from the photos, looking back, that she was sick of life.

There's not much I regret about her life except for that week.

I would normally say trust the vet but my own recent experience has said otherwise and I feel like I’m hearing more of these stories where the vet says let’s keep going but the animal is miserable and I just don’t understand why.

your dog is no longer happy. She will be distressed by the incontinence , she sounds in pain and the blindness and or pain is causing her to be distressed when she’s alone. She’s had her good days now she only has bad ones . Trust your gut and do her a kindness. If you are looking for validation to give yourself permission it’s here.

A lot of people would choose to go either in their sleep, or on a high, if they could. There comes a point where the prospect of a few more good days doesn't outweigh the knowledge that there will be many more worse days. It's not necessarily wrong to put a dog to sleep on a good day.

@Atomickittyxx please do the right thing by your dog. Makes me so angry two selfish people here having their dogs in such a state and not doing the right thing. If a dog can't support itself it quite obviously ill.

Thank you everyone. She was helped on her way this morning. We knew it was the right thing but that doesn't make it easy

@Whatevershallidowithmylife it's not as simple as people being selfish!
Our girl saw the vet a week ago who prescribed new tablets and clearly believed they would help her. She had declined in the past 7 days but at no point was she kept here selfishly.

So sorry for your loss, it’s heartbreaking I know but you did the right thing and clearly gave her a wonderful life when she was with you xx

Sorry for your loss OP it's a truly horrible time, you did the right thing trying to help her and letting her go peacefully when it couldn't be done.
Words never seem to cut it, the pain is horrendous please take no notice of anyone saying you kept her here selfishly because you didn't.
When a vet says they can help your pet you trust them, they're professionals but I think nowadays from my experience not always do they act in the pets best interests.
Be kind to yourself 💐

I'm so sorry you did the right thing. I know how hard this is so my thoughts are with you

So sorry it's a very sad time for you.

I'm so sorry for your pain but you know you did the right thing for your beloved girl all the time you had her xxx

It’s so hard op. I had similar with my cat when vet said painkillers might keep her comfortable for a while yet and then her end was awful and I really really regretted not insisting at previous appt. But I thought the vet knew best. BUT you made the best decision with the information you had at the time and maybe if you had argued it early you would have wondered if the vet had seen something you didn’t. I’m sure you gave her a wonderful life and she felt loved and secure xxx