My god I feel like I could vomit at any moment.
My dog, a 6 year old staffie, has had a lump on her side for a while, probably a year and a half, could be more. Its now about 1.5 inches big.
Shes been to the vet who I've trusted for years with my animals, who up to now has been some sort of wizard who has sorted out many benign things that I've instantly thought were bad news (my mind always jumps to the worst, then I'm prepared).
Hes always said this lump was nothing to worry about, even when we've said it grows then shrinks and bothers her some days then she'll be fine for weeks. She has other lumps that just stay the same size and are hard and just on the skin. Vet said these are all just fatty lumps and he wouldn't recommend removing them until they really bother her because of general recovery, anesthetic and so on.
I've never pushed for the lumps to be tested because I trusted him. This is the vet who i asked for a 2nd opinion and saved my last staffie from a really invasive surgery in her mouth recommended by an emergency vet after she had a stick lodged in her throat and some remained deep in her throat after emergency op that they cpuldnt get to. The stick that remained turned out to be a normal bone. She was scheduled for surgery with a specialist that afternoon and his knowledge of staffie bone structure that morning prevented that unnecessary op.
Today the lump escalated. She was unsettled, she went very hot, was trying to nibble at it etc. Then she was fine after about 2 hours.
So, I googled.
I'm devastated. I'm 99% her symptoms are MCT. It all fits with the fluctuating changes in size, her nibbling at it, it getting worse, the hot/red in her skin and her being agitated probably being histamine release etc., and the other lumps being on her ear and foot, so more than one.
Shes at the vet on Monday. I know people will say to wait. But I have a very strong gut feeling about this and everything fits. Putting aside the anger I feel at the minute I'm distraught. I have actually just been physically sick and she immediately came over to me licking my hands and burrowing in for cuddles while I can't even look at her because I've let her down in the worst way imaginable. I'm supposed to care for her, and I've let this happen to her, and it may now be too late to cure her.
Is there any hope at all? Has anyone else's dog had a lump like this for ages that was a MCT and it turned out fine? Or a lump that went up and down and it was benign? Or at least fine for a few years so I just get a bit longer with her?
Please please no stories of awful outcomes i am honestly falling apart. I loved my other dog very much, but this one.....she is the animal love of my whole life.
I'm babbling on here because I can't talk to DP as I partly blame him right now. he's the one that took her most times and I am suspicious that he wouldn't have asked many questions or even told the vet the full background, so I'm also kicking myself over that.