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The doghouse

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Original poster

When did you start to love your puppy?

14 replies

chickensandbees · 13/02/2024 13:40

I'm finding it really hard at the moment, she's 8 months old and we've had her since she was 3 months. She's really easy in many ways, sleeps through in her crate, toilet trained, but I just see her as a chore. I thought I would love having a dog, but I don't yet....will it happen? My DDs adore her so that is good, but I just feel I have added another problem into an already busy life.

It didn't help that she broke her leg at 5months and then was restricted to her crate for 2 months and constant visits to the vets for xrays, surgery, check ups.

Will it get better? Did anyone else struggle at the beginning?

OP posts:
Devilshands · 13/02/2024 14:15

It is common (so please don't feel bad). I think as long as you not abusive to her (yelling, kicking, hitting) then, actually, it's okay to not love them for a while as long as they are getting love somewhere!

In some cases it will get better with time - they worm their way in and become something you could never have lived without. In some cases, tolerance is all that is there. But as long as the dog is loved by the family and not harmed, then please don't fret.

Have you thought about spending time with her just 1-2-1? Or is that not possible? I've always found that doing things just me and the dog is the best way to build that bond. Even if it's just sitting on a bench together and watching the world go by. Or sitting outside a coffee shop with her and a good book. Or playing with her in the garden. Do you play with her by yourself? Walk her (assuming you enjoy walking...otherwise why get a dog :D ) ? Spend any time with her doing what you want to do?

Or is it always you doing the crap jobs and everyone else doing the fun bits? If so, that might be why you can't bond with her. I often think that with dog ownership you have to take the good and the bad together. You can't just be the one doing all the 'fun' things and you can't be the one doing all the 'bad' things.

MrsWhites · 13/02/2024 14:19

Only when he started to behave and respond to commands really. My advice would be to take her to obedience classes, they made a massive improvement in our puppy’s behaviour and therefore our relationship.

bonafidetidy · 13/02/2024 14:34

Not a puppy but we took on an elderly relatives dog a few years ago after they died. I was the last person to want a dog as I hate the smell and the mess but nobody else in the family would take him and I felt like he'd already been though enough losing his owner to be sent to people he didn't even know. I felt sorry for him initially and he did worm his way into my affections in time, these days if I am out at work (one of us always works from home now to be with him) I am racing home to see him!

Original poster
chickensandbees · 13/02/2024 15:04

Devilshands · 13/02/2024 14:15

It is common (so please don't feel bad). I think as long as you not abusive to her (yelling, kicking, hitting) then, actually, it's okay to not love them for a while as long as they are getting love somewhere!

In some cases it will get better with time - they worm their way in and become something you could never have lived without. In some cases, tolerance is all that is there. But as long as the dog is loved by the family and not harmed, then please don't fret.

Have you thought about spending time with her just 1-2-1? Or is that not possible? I've always found that doing things just me and the dog is the best way to build that bond. Even if it's just sitting on a bench together and watching the world go by. Or sitting outside a coffee shop with her and a good book. Or playing with her in the garden. Do you play with her by yourself? Walk her (assuming you enjoy walking...otherwise why get a dog :D ) ? Spend any time with her doing what you want to do?

Or is it always you doing the crap jobs and everyone else doing the fun bits? If so, that might be why you can't bond with her. I often think that with dog ownership you have to take the good and the bad together. You can't just be the one doing all the 'fun' things and you can't be the one doing all the 'bad' things.

This is a good point. I was starting to enjoy walking with her, which is one of the main reasons I got a dog, but then she broke her leg so the main thing I did enjoy was stopped. I should try and get out there again just me and her. I should also start the training again, we had puppy classes but the training went when she was confined to her crate.

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 13/02/2024 15:33

mine is coming up to a year and he's a bit of an arsehole 😂 but I do love him . you had an injured dog to look after and that must have been stressful and not In your plans. she's also an adolescent see my arsehole comment ! so they are full or hormones any previous training can fly out the window and it all seems relentless. I think sometimes the expectations vs reality shocks people. you will hopefully learn to like her once she's out the other side of the teens.

WomanHereWomanHere · 13/02/2024 15:37

I understand this, as gorgeous and fun as puppies are, I seem to bond to adult dogs more easily. One day it just sort of happens and you realise that you love their smell (I mean their natural smell, not the ‘rolled in something’ version!), feel peace in their company, miss the sound of their breathing when they’re not there when you’re relaxing or at night. It’s a slow thing, like a frog in boiling water 😀

Mrsjayy · 13/02/2024 15:49

if you see her as a chore she will be a chore if you try and see her as another family member that needs to be considered then you might look at her differently, I don't mean that in an icky "furbaby" way though just as a part of your household and family she will start to fit in.

Shouldgetupearlier · 13/02/2024 15:53

I always think dogs are best from 2 years old. They’ve generally gone through the annoying stage and know their place and rules, and you can just relax a bit so you’re in a more loving place.

NewMeNewUs · 13/02/2024 15:58

This is normal don’t worry.
our girl is 11 months old now and i would say I didn’t really fall in love with her until about 7 months.
i love her to bits now but i do still see her as a chore and another thing to look after but i guess this will always be the case

Dapbag · 13/02/2024 16:00

This is why we got a rescue dog aged 2. The puppy stage is the worst, once you're over the hump things will get better.

WomanHereWomanHere · 13/02/2024 17:48

Shouldgetupearlier · 13/02/2024 15:53

I always think dogs are best from 2 years old. They’ve generally gone through the annoying stage and know their place and rules, and you can just relax a bit so you’re in a more loving place.

Yes it’s as though they’ve got to the other side of their ‘teenage’ era!

banabak · 13/02/2024 19:01

Honestly...maybe 18 months ish! He was a real twatador for a LONG time. But now, he's a dream (most of the time) and is absolutely adored by all of us. DH struggled the most and is his biggest fan. Hang on in there

Threemusketeers80 · 13/02/2024 19:43

My first dog is 2 and can be a bit of a prick. I love him but at time's I really don't like him and his behaviour, despite constantly telling him to not scramble across the kitchen tops like a deranged starving dinosaur.

My puppy of 5 months is a bloody delight, I absolutely adore him, he's so well behaved and just wonderful. This could change but hopefully not.

Devilshands · 13/02/2024 19:44

chickensandbees · 13/02/2024 15:04

This is a good point. I was starting to enjoy walking with her, which is one of the main reasons I got a dog, but then she broke her leg so the main thing I did enjoy was stopped. I should try and get out there again just me and her. I should also start the training again, we had puppy classes but the training went when she was confined to her crate.

Show quote history

That's good then!

Start taking her back out with just you and her. Do that as much as you can.

If you have a partner/DH maybe ask them to take your DDs off your hands for a bit to really help (children LOVE being around dogs but can, IME, 'hog' them a bit and make bonding with a dog really hard as they just want to be there all the time).

I hope it works out! 🙂

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