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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

Advice needed

19 replies

coffeewithmilk · 09/02/2024 13:58

I have a dog - he is 3, nearly 4. High maintenance dog, lots of grooming, high shedding etc.
I have a young toddler and second baby due in a matter of weeks.
Dog has recently become very needy. Usually he'd be happy sitting in his bed and sleeping, but now he whinges a lot, wants to constantly be beside me, extremely hyper whenever anyone comes into the house and has knocked my toddler down multiple times from being so hyper.

My husband has been so busy with work and hasn't really been able to get him out for walks, when usually before he was very good at getting him out.
I physically can't take him out.

I know this sounds awful but I feel he would be happier somewhere else.. my time is only going to become less when another baby comes and it breaks my heart for my dog, but I feel it's unfair on him to be not getting any attention.

Has anyone been in this situation. I really don't know what I'm looking for with this
post but any guidance or advice or anything helpful I'd really appreciate it

Thank you

OP posts:

MuttsNutts · 09/02/2024 14:03

He senses that you’re about to have another baby and that you don’t want him around any more, that’s why he’ll be more “needy”. I bet you thought he was cute as a puppy wanting to be near you didn’t you?

I expect you’ve come here looking for people to agree that you need to get rid of him now (however you dress it up that’s what it is) but you won’t get that from me.

Ever heard that a dog is for life? Not just until you can’t be bothered with them any more.

lifeispainauchocolat · 09/02/2024 14:04

I'm really sorry, but your husband needs to step up and walk the dog. If he's busy then he'll just need to get up earlier or go to bed later. Yes, it's exhausting but it's what you have to do when you have a young dog.

BiteyShark · 09/02/2024 14:06

Get your DH to take him out or pay for a dog walker.

MuttsNutts · 09/02/2024 14:06

Can’t believe you’re blaming the poor dog for being “hyper” when he’s not even being walked.

Windydaysandwetnights · 09/02/2024 14:07

Maybe rehome the dc and keep ddog?

rainydaysandwednesdays · 09/02/2024 14:08

If I were you I'd get rid. I mean I wouldn't have got the dog in the first place but suspect there's a lot of Covid era dogs that people regret getting.

If you don't have time now you will have even less time when the baby comes. It's the fair thing to give it to someone who will love, care and give time to the dog.

Broodywuz · 09/02/2024 14:09

Sounds like he's now hyper because of lack of exercise, if your DH doesn't have time to take him out and you can't then you need to get a dog walker.
I would say at least worth trying before you re-home, if dog walker took him for a decent walk say mid morning it might totally settle him for the day

Broodywuz · 09/02/2024 14:12

rainydaysandwednesdays · 09/02/2024 14:08

If I were you I'd get rid. I mean I wouldn't have got the dog in the first place but suspect there's a lot of Covid era dogs that people regret getting.

If you don't have time now you will have even less time when the baby comes. It's the fair thing to give it to someone who will love, care and give time to the dog.

Totally agree, however the reality is there are so many dogs in rehoming centres now, the poor dog would likely spend quite a bit of time in a kennel before finding a new home. So sad!

lifeispainauchocolat · 09/02/2024 14:15

rainydaysandwednesdays · 09/02/2024 14:08

If I were you I'd get rid. I mean I wouldn't have got the dog in the first place but suspect there's a lot of Covid era dogs that people regret getting.

If you don't have time now you will have even less time when the baby comes. It's the fair thing to give it to someone who will love, care and give time to the dog.

Rescue centres are full to bursting with waiting lists. The likelihood of this dog finding a suitable new home any time soon is slim to none.

shiningstar2 · 09/02/2024 14:16

If you are pushing your dog away he knows he is being rejected and will feel anxious and puzzled. Him trying to get closer to you and wanting your attention is because he is trying to please you and doesn't know how. Dogs are conditioned to need the love and approval of humans. I wonder if he was a puppy during lockdown when you had more time. Whatever the reasons you don't have time for him now but I differ from others who are telling you to make more effort, get husband involved ext. Your heart isn't in it now is it op? It will be worse when new baby comes along. He will get told off for being underfoot and will be very unhappy. My advise is to find a reputable dog rescue. Admit you made a mistake and get him safely and happily rehomed. This is the best you can do for him. You're not the first and you won't be the last. Don't beat yourself up. Just do what's right for the dog. Please don't advertise him for sale or 'free to good home.

rainydaysandwednesdays · 09/02/2024 14:17

@Broodywuz oh yeah I agree. I would never dump in a rehoming centre though, I'd give to someone I know or know through friends so I know the dog is going somewhere nice. However long that took.

Snowchance · 09/02/2024 14:17

Your dogs hyper because he's probably bored, if you or your husband are not able to do this at the moment ask a friend/neighbour anyone you know who will be sensible enough to walk your dog. Or if you can afford a dog walker great. He needs stimulation. When he gets this your home life will be much better

hothotheatbag · 09/02/2024 14:22

Why do people bother with dogs, poor things. Thy don't ask to be born and live with us, it's our job to give them lovely lives. May you should have got a small hamster type animal.

Tell your DH to step up, is he can't be arsed with the dog good luck getting any support with the children.

Can't get the toddler In a pushchair and get outside, unless there is a medical reason?

Buildingthefuture · 09/02/2024 14:28

Your dog is hyper because he isn’t being walked, so he isn’t getting the physical and mental stimulation he needs. You know that. So you either tell your DH to pull his finger out and walk the dog, employ a dog walker or, if you can manage it, take him to a secure field where he can run off lead and burn off his energy without it being too much for you.
You are clearly looking for permission to “get rid” of him, but it really isn’t that simple. Rescue centres are beyond overwhelmed and the desire for a “high maintenance” dog is somewhere around zero. He is your dog and your responsibility. A dog is for life, not until you are too busy with children and can no longer be bothered.

Original poster

coffeewithmilk · 09/02/2024 14:30

I appreciate all your comments - I understand why a lot of them come across angry
I just want to be clear that our dog up until now has had a really lovely life and been 100% part of the family with lots of love and attention. It's not a 'covid dog' which we regret getting at all.

I'm just worried about how the dynamic will change now a new baby is coming along and I can't seem to split my time effectively between my child and my dog.
Yes DH needs to step up.

I am having a very bad day but doesn't mean that I don't love my dog. He is generally very happy and content.

I understand how my OP came across. Thanks for your comments. I'll look into dog walker or some sort of doggie daycare type thing for the moment

OP posts:

lifeispainauchocolat · 09/02/2024 14:34

Your DH is the problem here, not the dog.

He has a pregnant wife who is physically unable to walk the dog and is still refusing to step up himself. That's really piss poor and I would be really angry with him if I were you.

This is a tough time of year for early walks or evening walks but unfortunately for him, he's either going to have to suck it up or pay someone else.

Devilshands · 09/02/2024 14:36

He is generally very happy and content.

No he isn't. He has no exercise and is ignored .

A dog walker does not make up for neglecting your dog - which you have done by not giving him attention (to the point he has become clingy and whiney) and not exercising him.

You need to re-home the dog because, let's be honest, when baby No.2 comes neither you nor your DH will have time for the dog. If you can't do it now you won't do it when you're even busier and stressed.

Edit: I just realised you said he needs lots of grooming...he is being groomed atm, right? Or has that fallen away as well?

MiltonNorthern · 09/02/2024 14:36

You got a dog then got pregnant and pregnant again fairly quickly after getting the dog. Why would anyone get a puppy when they are planning to have a family? This is clearly the very predictable consequence of making that bad decision. Your DH needs to walk the poor dog or at least pay a dog walker to come twice a day. Don't rehome him unless you absolutely have to.

Skyellaskerry · 09/02/2024 14:39

@lifeispainauchocolat absolutely this! Your dog is communicating that his needs aren’t being met, whereas it seems they were before.

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