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If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Dog resource guarding me - worse now I’m pregnant

35 replies

Moonlightmad · 27/01/2024 12:39

I have a Cavapoo who is well natured and easy going. We noticed a few months ago that on walks he would show resource guarding behaviours if we went to pet another dog. He would get jealous and jump up at them and snarl.

At Christmas we went to visit family and brought the dog to stay. We stayed in an air bnb but visited my in laws who have a dog. Our dog was constantly on alert making sure their dog didn’t approach us and if it did, our dog would growl and snap at them.

I’m 15 weeks pregnant and feel he even worse with resource guarding me. For example if my partner gives me a kiss he will bark. Today my nephew was over visiting and my dog gets so excited and jumps allover my nephew (we have a trainer coming out next month to help us with this). Due to our dog being so excitable, I sit him on my lap to calm him down when we have guests. My nephew was on the couch too and stood up on the couch (he’s only 2) and leaned in to me and our dog snarled and lunged at him. He was close enough to have made contact but he didn’t, it was as if it was a warning. I was so upset by this as you can imagine.

I have reached out to a few behaviourists in the area as I’d like to resolve this behaviour asap but the waiting time is 2-3 months. I’m wondering if anyone has any advice in the mean time please? Thank you

OP posts:
RockSocks · 27/01/2024 17:28

In the situation you describe with Dn you were totally in the wrong to put him on your lap.

Have you started to correct the behaviour at all or are you just ignoring it until the trainer comes? If so that's going to make it worse

tootrueblue · 27/01/2024 17:41

Absolutely not on your lap - you're rewarding the bad behaviour. Don't allow on sofas & beds and a firm 'no!' when he starts to exhibit the behaviour. Be the pack leader.

muchalover · 27/01/2024 17:50

Ignoring (whilst controlling his ability to harm) is very powerful.

I would give others treats to give him and capture the right behaviors with a "yes" and positive praise.

Set up scenarios where you kiss your husband but give the dog the highest value treat for not responding. All treats have a hierarchy so identify that first. Peanut butter is very high value and you could make a very high value treat for when you want the dog to be absorbed in that and not notice what you are doing.

Sitting on your lap is enabling and rewarding bad habits. So is petting, talking to them in any way, interpreting their responses as guilt, an apology or anything human.

Do not allow your dog anywhere near children until this is fully resolved. NEVER trust any dog with your baby.

carerneedshelp · 27/01/2024 18:00

tootrueblue · 27/01/2024 17:41

Absolutely not on your lap - you're rewarding the bad behaviour. Don't allow on sofas & beds and a firm 'no!' when he starts to exhibit the behaviour. Be the pack leader.

@tootrueblue you do realise that pack theory is utter bullshit and was disproved (by the very person who thought it up) decades ago.

Op you need an experienced force free behaviourist to work with you and your dog. Not some random trainer. You need to use management to prevent the behaviour from happening again. Don't allow him and young children together on your lap. Pop him in the kitchen with a chew. Dogs often find small children unnerving. And don't go to pet other dogs when you're out with him.

Too many people seem to believe dogs should be seen and not heard and shouldn't have bay feelings or wants and needs of their own. They are not robots. You need to teach him how to behave in the manner you would like.

tootrueblue · 27/01/2024 18:06

@carerneedshelp has worked perfectly for my dogs so can't be bullshit.

spiderlight · 27/01/2024 18:32

Your dog is stressed and anxious about something. I echo the poster who says you need an experienced force-free behaviourist to come to your home and work with you. Your vet might be able to recommend one, and it's a good idea to have a vet check anyway in case he's in pain. Please please don't listen to anyone who talks about dominance, pack leaders etc - that approach is outdated, discredited and has the scope to be hugely damaging. Keep your dog away from children entirely for now, until you have had professional advice.

tabulahrasa · 27/01/2024 18:44

You absolutely do not want training advice from randoms online about something that could become a really serious problem...

With you about to add a baby into the mix you want real life qualified help.

Windymcwindyson · 27/01/2024 18:48

Untrained ddogs need to stay floor level.

carerneedshelp · 27/01/2024 19:03

tootrueblue · 27/01/2024 18:06

@carerneedshelp has worked perfectly for my dogs so can't be bullshit.

@tootrueblue Oh I'm sure it has worked! It's worked by scaring your animals into submission!
Bit like shouting and screaming or beating kids works to control behaviour. Doesn't make it right or any less abusive!

Original poster
Moonlightmad · 27/01/2024 19:13

Thanks for your comments. I can fully accept I am in the wrong here and naively didn’t realise that having him on my lap could cause this problem.

I’ll be honest that it’s been a bit of a habit as he’s only small to scoop him up and sit him on our lap when visiting family etc so that he isn’t jumping up at people.

I have been in contact with a behaviourist who has now booked me in for March and the reason I posted was for a bit of insight in to what I have done in this situation and advice on how to handle it until the behaviourist. We will make sure that our dog is not around children until then

OP posts:
Original poster
Moonlightmad · 27/01/2024 19:14

@RockSocks do you have any advice or resources on how I can correct this behaviour until such times as the behaviourist comes? Thanks

OP posts:
WeeblyWobblyWibbly · 27/01/2024 19:18

tootrueblue · 27/01/2024 17:41

Absolutely not on your lap - you're rewarding the bad behaviour. Don't allow on sofas & beds and a firm 'no!' when he starts to exhibit the behaviour. Be the pack leader.

Please do not take this advice OP, it’s outdated. Honestly some people really need to re-educate themselves from draconian training methods.

Original poster
Moonlightmad · 27/01/2024 19:22

Thanks @WeeblyWobblyWibbly. I do agree that he shouldn’t be on our laps as I feel he is resource guarding us, especially me. But I don’t agree with the pack leader thing, the behaviourist we have arranged is qualified and accredited and force free

OP posts:
tootrueblue · 27/01/2024 19:32

@carerneedshelp I have never scared any animal into submission. But thanks for that huge leap 🙄

RockSocks · 27/01/2024 19:45

@Moonlightmad
There are loads of ways you can start with the training but without knowing your set up or the dog it's difficult to advise as it could be totally wrong for the situation and I would be wary of a lot of advise you might be given.

Some pretty universal things to start would be stop picking up the dog or letting them on your lap at all.
Stair gates are amazing when you need to seperate dog and family until you see the trainer and stop allowing dog on the furniture or the bed if you do.

If you can I would also add in some normal training sessions with the dog and your partner, just normal things sit stay paw turn nothing special but enough to get them engaged with a different person, it won't do any harm and poodle mixes are smart excersing their mind won't hurt either

I know its tough, I went from big hulking dogs I couldn't pick up to a tiny little thing and I caught myself in the first month or two just scooping her up to avoid things eg runnihg out the door as it was impossible to block her tiny body she would slip past unlike my previous boys who had no chance of squeezing past

Seasaltsquall · 27/01/2024 20:57

I'm really pleased you have sorted a behaviourist rather than just a dog trainer. A trainer (as in puppy training classes) can be literally just that; a trainer with no understanding of canine behaviour. Here's a link to accredited behaviourists.

www.apbc.org.uk/training-courses/

I had a dog that resource guarded me and it was a nightmare to live with. With a baby you need eyes in the back of your head-please never, ever, leave your nephew or baby near the dog. Fix baby gates on every necessary doorway or enclose an area off with a puppy pen, and start today with a firm but calm 'no' when he tries to jump on the sofa, redirect to a bed or rug/his space on the floor, and praise until he understands. Repeat, repeat, repeat until he gets it. Same with the bed; don't let him on it, or even stop him being allowed upstairs, full stop. Give him boundaries. Dogs thrive with them, and can be a nightmare without. The whole family need to work and be consistent together with this.
Hope that helps and the behaviourist can guide you further.

Seasaltsquall · 27/01/2024 20:59

Apologies I linked the wrong page before. Realise you have a behaviourist sorted but this link/page may help others.

www.apbc.org.uk/find-an-apbc-member/

WeeblyWobblyWibbly · 27/01/2024 22:10

tootrueblue · 27/01/2024 19:32

@carerneedshelp I have never scared any animal into submission. But thanks for that huge leap 🙄

Being a ‘pack leader’ does scare dogs into submission. I would suggest you update your training knowledge. Dogs do not need an ‘alpha’ leader nor dominance and this theory was debunked long ago and it’s detrimental to training a dog.

Mybootsare · 27/01/2024 22:17

I’m wondering if anyone has any advice in the mean time please? Thank you

Keep the dog away from all children in the meantime.

Wolfiefan · 27/01/2024 22:21

Dog training advice and support on FB is run by force free dog trainers. All positive and reward based. They have free files on all sort of things and you can ask their advice too.

m00ngirl · 27/01/2024 22:38

"Due to our dog being so excitable, I sit him on my lap to calm him down when we have guests."

It's not simply rewarding as other posters have said - you're putting him in the position of top authority and in front of your body which he feels is a duty to protect you. I know this point has been made by other posters but I'd encourage you to apply the same logic to the other behaviours so you can see things from your dog's point of view more. In the nicest possible way (this applies to all of us!) it's as much about training yourself as it is the dog.

When guests are over, whilst you're retraining, he can be rewarded for staying in his bed on the floor or on his "place" (we have rugs that our dogs know as "place" where they get treats and relax whilst we're doing things like making their dinner). So he knows what's expected of him is to relax. I think sit and stay training is the foundation of dog training.

Regards guarding you with other dogs, if you do want to stroke another dog you can calmly get the treat bag, get them both to sit, and they get a treat each for sitting nicely. I do this with mine in the park. Then they know they're not going to miss out and they're being rewarded for calm behaviour when sitting next to another dog.

Good luck!

WeeblyWobblyWibbly · 27/01/2024 23:21

The issue you have is that your dog is resource guarding you and not a toy or an area. Your dog snapped at a two year old, that's the bottom line, you can’t have a dog snap at anyone and you know this. Everyone adores their dog and I totally understand that but I have to ask you this, are you willing to to put others at risk due to this behaviour? Let’s be honest here, you have a behaviourist coming out, anyone can claim to be a dog behaviourist. They can get accreditation online.

What I will give advice on is that if you want to train your dog out of resource guarding then you need to commit to this training being long haul, it’s not trained out in a few months or a few days. Depending on the dog it can take years. Sometimes it can’t be ‘fixed’ either. Resource guarding is a serious behaviour and tbh I’d be asking myself if I could cope with a dog that may resource guard a baby.

Please don’t listen to people on an internet forum especially when a new baby is due.

WeeblyWobblyWibbly · 27/01/2024 23:23

m00ngirl · 27/01/2024 22:38

"Due to our dog being so excitable, I sit him on my lap to calm him down when we have guests."

It's not simply rewarding as other posters have said - you're putting him in the position of top authority and in front of your body which he feels is a duty to protect you. I know this point has been made by other posters but I'd encourage you to apply the same logic to the other behaviours so you can see things from your dog's point of view more. In the nicest possible way (this applies to all of us!) it's as much about training yourself as it is the dog.

When guests are over, whilst you're retraining, he can be rewarded for staying in his bed on the floor or on his "place" (we have rugs that our dogs know as "place" where they get treats and relax whilst we're doing things like making their dinner). So he knows what's expected of him is to relax. I think sit and stay training is the foundation of dog training.

Regards guarding you with other dogs, if you do want to stroke another dog you can calmly get the treat bag, get them both to sit, and they get a treat each for sitting nicely. I do this with mine in the park. Then they know they're not going to miss out and they're being rewarded for calm behaviour when sitting next to another dog.

Good luck!

Can I ask your qualifications in dog training? Especially resource guarding?

namestevalian · 27/01/2024 23:48

tootrueblue · 27/01/2024 17:41

Absolutely not on your lap - you're rewarding the bad behaviour. Don't allow on sofas & beds and a firm 'no!' when he starts to exhibit the behaviour. Be the pack leader.

Alpha theory has been disproven .

Please seek the advice of a qualified behaviorist

namestevalian · 27/01/2024 23:50

I would also have a full vet check in the meantime to ensure not in any pain